OK so I am type 2 sufferer. Have been for about 15 years. I have totally ignored the fact, alternating between periods of taking my meds, taking some meds, or none at all depending on my mood at the time. I know something of the symptoms of the disease, and the damage it can cause, but never really took it seriously, or looked into it in any depth. Life has been a bit of a struggle at times but I have never until recently blamed the diabetes, but blamed myself for being FAT. Why blame myself? Well because I have been conditioned to do so by Doctors, and the medical profession in general. How so? It is embarrassing, and shaming when over a period of 30 years (roughly how long I started to carry weight) each visit to a medical professional receives an attitude bordering disinterest, belittlement, and on accusation of laziness and blame. So, every health problem I have ever suffered i have blamed on myself for being fat, and lazy. After all I have followed the pasta, and potato diets they have given me, and it must be my fault if they do not work. In fact I have followed almost every diet I have come across over the last 30 years, only to fail after the initial weight loss.
Recently I woke up to the fact I suffer from T2. I realised because not only do I suffer but so does my family. I have a beautiful soul as my wife, and 4 young children. Boy have they suffered. My mood swings from high to low in seconds, I find myself screaming in my kids faces like a mad man, hoping I do not have to wake tomorrow, and nearly driving my wife away in her desperation. All this is more than a bit of a change from the guy who used to be known for his easy relaxed attitude to every thing.
It is these symptoms not the possible damage to my flesh that have caused me to do a bit of research, and now understand that it is my illness that has changed me in it's subversive sneaky little ways. It is my desire not to hurt those closest to me, to go back to being the confident, kind, friendly, loving, sympathetic person I used to be a person that people used to wish to know rather than avoid that has made me take stock of who I am, and why.
I have decided that I am me because I allow the situation. I allow Doctors to make me feel like a lost cause. I take their incorrect advice, and therefor fail miserably. I avoid life as it is easier than having to face it as a failure.
Having discovered why I am in such a psychologically poor state I am relieved because I now know there is a possibility I can recover myself, bring myself back from the desert i have been wondering in for the past 15 plus years.
I am not a team player, mainly because of the self critical nature I have developed therefor I do not wish to involve Doctors who have proven useless in the past, nor diet clubs or the like. I see this as my last chance to bring myself back from the edge, and give my family the husband and father I know I am able to be. Having looked a little into my problem, I started one week ago to take control. My first step is a calorie controlled diet. Amazed at the way I feel I am now one stone lighter, move with ease rather than with effort, think clearly rather than each thought process having to work through a treacle maze, feel motivated (not because I have lost a few holes in my belt), and want to get out of bed again. My mind just seems clearer and more able to cope. Now at a tad over 21 stone, and being 5'6", I have far to go with my weight problem, but more important to me is my ability to think, compute, and control.
I need to keep an eye on my blood readings, but will not involve my Doctor any more than is necessary as he is a very negative experience, and will give me his opinion based on the text books he has followed for decades, and an opinion which will conflict with mine. Why should I allow the medical profession to make things harder for me by putting doubt in my mind when over 30 years they have helped destroy me.
So, I apologies for the waffle above, it just seemed like the first time I am able to let it all out as they say, to expel the demons. I need a little help from you. I have a One-Touch Select Plus meter, and need to purchase from the internet a supply of test strips. I do not wish to be buying faulty or imitation strips, and wondered if anybody out there has purchased these at a good price, and they are legitimate.
Seems an awful lot written just to ask help with test strips
Lastly please do not reply with wise words regarding the involvement of the medical profession nor anybody else as your advice will not be welcome, and will be considered as you taking the opportunity to take stage. If they have failed me over 30 years, they will carry on failing me. This is a single minded, currently determined, one man team.
Any advice on the strips will be welcome though.
Recently I woke up to the fact I suffer from T2. I realised because not only do I suffer but so does my family. I have a beautiful soul as my wife, and 4 young children. Boy have they suffered. My mood swings from high to low in seconds, I find myself screaming in my kids faces like a mad man, hoping I do not have to wake tomorrow, and nearly driving my wife away in her desperation. All this is more than a bit of a change from the guy who used to be known for his easy relaxed attitude to every thing.
It is these symptoms not the possible damage to my flesh that have caused me to do a bit of research, and now understand that it is my illness that has changed me in it's subversive sneaky little ways. It is my desire not to hurt those closest to me, to go back to being the confident, kind, friendly, loving, sympathetic person I used to be a person that people used to wish to know rather than avoid that has made me take stock of who I am, and why.
I have decided that I am me because I allow the situation. I allow Doctors to make me feel like a lost cause. I take their incorrect advice, and therefor fail miserably. I avoid life as it is easier than having to face it as a failure.
Having discovered why I am in such a psychologically poor state I am relieved because I now know there is a possibility I can recover myself, bring myself back from the desert i have been wondering in for the past 15 plus years.
I am not a team player, mainly because of the self critical nature I have developed therefor I do not wish to involve Doctors who have proven useless in the past, nor diet clubs or the like. I see this as my last chance to bring myself back from the edge, and give my family the husband and father I know I am able to be. Having looked a little into my problem, I started one week ago to take control. My first step is a calorie controlled diet. Amazed at the way I feel I am now one stone lighter, move with ease rather than with effort, think clearly rather than each thought process having to work through a treacle maze, feel motivated (not because I have lost a few holes in my belt), and want to get out of bed again. My mind just seems clearer and more able to cope. Now at a tad over 21 stone, and being 5'6", I have far to go with my weight problem, but more important to me is my ability to think, compute, and control.
I need to keep an eye on my blood readings, but will not involve my Doctor any more than is necessary as he is a very negative experience, and will give me his opinion based on the text books he has followed for decades, and an opinion which will conflict with mine. Why should I allow the medical profession to make things harder for me by putting doubt in my mind when over 30 years they have helped destroy me.
So, I apologies for the waffle above, it just seemed like the first time I am able to let it all out as they say, to expel the demons. I need a little help from you. I have a One-Touch Select Plus meter, and need to purchase from the internet a supply of test strips. I do not wish to be buying faulty or imitation strips, and wondered if anybody out there has purchased these at a good price, and they are legitimate.
Seems an awful lot written just to ask help with test strips
Lastly please do not reply with wise words regarding the involvement of the medical profession nor anybody else as your advice will not be welcome, and will be considered as you taking the opportunity to take stage. If they have failed me over 30 years, they will carry on failing me. This is a single minded, currently determined, one man team. Any advice on the strips will be welcome though.
