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<blockquote data-quote="Pura Vida" data-source="post: 873703" data-attributes="member: 131793">Fw: The Best Divorce Letter EverFIRST LETTER:&nbsp;My Dear husband:I&#039;m writing this letter to tell you that I&#039;m leaving you.&nbsp; I&#039;ve been a good wife to you for the last 20 years &amp; I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell.&nbsp; Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw.&nbsp;Last week, you came home &amp; you didn&#039;t even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favourite meal &amp; even wore a brand new nightie.&nbsp; You ate in 2 minutes, &amp; went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps.&nbsp; You don&#039;t tell me you love me anymore; you don&#039;t want sex or anything that connects us as husband &amp; wife.&nbsp; Either you&#039;re cheating on me or you don&#039;t love me anymore; whatever the case, I&#039;m gone.&nbsp;Your EX-Wife.&nbsp;P.S. Don&#039;t try to find me.&nbsp; Your BROTHER &amp; I are moving to New Zealand together!&nbsp; Have a great life!&nbsp;REPLY:&nbsp;Dear Ex-wife,Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.&nbsp; It&#039;s true you &amp; I have been married for 20 years, although a goodwoman is a far cry from what you&#039;ve been.&nbsp; I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &amp; bitching. Too bad that doesn&#039;t work anymore.I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was &#039;You look just like a boy!&#039;&nbsp; Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can&#039;t say something nice, I didn&#039;t comment...... and when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven&#039;t eaten prawns for 7 years.&nbsp;About the new nightie:&nbsp; I turned away from you because the $299.99 price tag was still on it, &amp; I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning.&nbsp;After all of this, I still loved you &amp; felt we could work it out.&nbsp; So when I won the $20 million Lotto, on Saturday, I left my job &amp; bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home you were gone.&nbsp; Everything happens for a reason, I guess.&nbsp; I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.&nbsp; My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won&#039;t get a dollar from me, so take care.&nbsp;Signed,Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell &amp; Free!&nbsp;P.S. I don&#039;t know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that&#039;s not a problem.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Pura Vida, post: 873703, member: 131793"] Fw: The Best Divorce Letter Ever FIRST LETTER: My Dear husband: I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Wife. P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life! REPLY: Dear Ex-wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad that doesn't work anymore. I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment...... and when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years. About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $299.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto, on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me, so take care. Signed, Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem. [/QUOTE]

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