thanks so much for your replies.
yes, he is mostly so afraid of food...we dont live together and he is often working so i cannot feed him and tackle things as fully as i would like to.
i accidently found this karo coconut milk drink in the soya milk section in sainsburys, and he LOVES that and uses it to make his porridge in the mornings instead of cows milk, we realised that cows milk has a lot of sugars in it if you drink half a pint in one go...so its small steps really.
made him rose elliots chocolate bar recipes, and cheesecakes, and carrot cake, to encourage him to trust that it can be done!! i counted meticulously every carb and calorie etc and its amazing how it can be got around. so his confidence is growing and i think it helps for him to know there is a better alternative to enjoy.
have started to keep a notebook of what doesnt have any effect on his blood sugars and the recipes that suit. I use xylitol to sweeten, and almonds.
its hard on him this diabetes thing, hes had it for 10 years, bringing up a kid on his own, and i think has been very alone with it and hasnt really got to grips with it and has basically been afraid, as i guess one can be.
when i first knew him back in the summer, i didnt know much about it either and of course he was keeping it hidden from me!! sort of embarrassed by it, we used to go to the seaside and walk about all day and he would eat chips AND doughnuts!! which he got away with because he was walking about but after seeing what the chips did to him without the walking recently he has happily kind of accepted the mad amount of carbs that made him feel ill.
i used to have a problem with drinking too much alcohol so both of us together make a good pair really. we have both had to change our lives and be focused on what makes us feel better

this forum is very supportive and im very grateful for the advice.
many thanks.
am going to experiment with coconut flour next, if i can get hold of some!
bye for now
ruby
x