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This might be difficult!

Fayefaye1429

Well-Known Member
Messages
809
Location
Durham
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Hi everyone,
This might bring up debates, it might not, but I have always wondered and I would regret not asking it.

I have never had a partner who has diabetes as well. I often wondered partners I have found often find the condition difficult to understand or get and wondered if it is easier (although you wont specify) but if it happens to be easier with a partner who has diabetes also, or is it more challenging? I know this all depends on the person but I just wondered what experiences are.
 
My wife was diagnosed with Type 1 (non gestational) Diabetes 4 months in to pregnancy about 8 years ago. She had a family history of autoimmune related illnesses. She's done MDI, two different pumps, basically she's done everything that's out there.

I was diagnosed T1 in January with no family history at all which appeared to be exacerbated by an extremely stressful period in my life.

To say i finally see how hard it was for her is an understatement. She always said you can't really explain how debilitating a hypo could be and I, like most of the public, was totally ignorant. She has helped me manage a lot, but the bizarre flip side is that sometimes she forgets its new to me and I'm still learning to manage. I find myself overwhelmed at times and this forum has been a great source of support. Expertise can be condescending i find, so doctors/dsn (even the wife) can rub me the wrong way. I'd like to learn about the condition at my own pace because despite the big list of complications/risks, everyone with Diabetes has their own quirks and issues and i think you almost have a responsibility to understand your own condition.

Also having to explain that i didnt 'catch' diabetes gets on my nerves lol "no no, you can't catch diabetes, we're both just really really really unlucky".

We still travel, we still drink, we still exercise and have good and bad days, but at least we have something in common we just have to take care of each other a little bit more.
 
Good question
I've often thought it would be easier, but never had the opportunity to put it to the test I do know that it's been a stumbling block in my relationships one way or another, if I'm honest . I think it's difficult for a non diabetic to be able to fully empathise with how much of a full on challenge living with it can be. And how it can take its toll mentally and emotionally as well as physically . It can be hard to understand that you are not feeling 100% following a hypo ( but that was ten minutes ago?! ) or you have had a rough day BG wise, so are not really up to a night out , or whatever . I've had partners that even after a long time in that relationship, still don't "get" the basics of it

Conversely, it also means that I am not the easiest person on the planet ( understatement!) to live with as a result - some of that is out of my control , but again, a non diabetic doesn't fully understand that , no matter how much they would like to . So how would it be for two diabetics both going through a bad blood day ? I don't know, but it's interesting to discuss

Signy
 
Hi Heathenlass and Mr Brightside,

Thanks for your posts. I can understand both of what you have said and have experienced it as well. I would say when I was diagnosed it was my friends who really got on board with it but my mother did and still does say " your be lucky to find anyone who wants to deal with diabetes!" My mother has issues but that is another story but it did haunt me for along time. I do know that those men are not worth it but its amazing how someone would judge you on something that is not only apart of you but inside you.
 
I'm not diabetic, but my wife is T2.
We try and help each other, but it's not that easy.
We both have different views on treatment because of her pain meds and her normal (as was) diet.
She is a roast dinner girl and I'm a salad guy.
She hates, low carb food, where as I love it.
She has very slow digestion, I have very fast digestion.
She doesn't get testing strips, I do!
And on and on.
I have got her to reduce her carbs and her hba1c has improved, she has more results due Monday but no phone call. I do her shopping and make sure if she can eat, it's meat and two veg and not spuds.
It's been a battle of wills the last couple of years, I'm hoping that small improvements, make bigger ones.
 
Not all non diabetics are like that!
 
Your 100% right! not all non diabetics struggle with it and a lot are too
 
And really, I stand by what I said - no matter how empathetic someone who doesn't have Type 1 would like to be, they will still, never fully understand. Not at all their fault, how could they , if they haven't had the experience ?

Signy
 
True Heathenlass, I guess its the same in loads of situation like I guess we can get it all 100% but nice to know their are people out there giving it a whirl
 
@Heathenlass I think a lot depends on the diabetic and their partners personality type. We're both bloody minded, so while she doesn't always get my diabetes, I don't always get her obsession with food and weight. I think the same is true in all relationships and you have to shrug your shoulders and get on with it. We all have differences that are difficult to empathize with due to lack of experience. The trick is in managing how these are dealt with, successfully.
 
Hi,

This is a tasty subject.. The simple answer from me? (With respect to every body contributing.) Is living with another D would drive me up the wall... I have a non D wife & wouldn't have it any other way..
If I was to hire a microscopic hit man to take out all my wife's beta cells it would not contribute to the relationship one iota..!
 
Try being married to a non diabetic physician ! Lol they may understand the disease but sometimes falls short there.
 
Anyone married to a diabetic person deserves a medal! From my experience, they worry more than I ever do about myself. My partner constantly carries glucose and jelly beans around in case I forget, and asks me EVERY night before sleep: Have you tested? Everything ok? YYEEEEES I yell, good night. Ungrateful as I am...
 
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