I was responding to your thread about depression but when I hit submit, the thread no longer existed. I'm not sure if you deleted the post yourself, or if a moderator deleted it, but here was my response to you, hopefully it may help a little.
I won't quote your post just in case it was you who deleted it and you had second thoughts about the post.
----- My response -
I too have suffered with long term severe depression, since the age of 15 after being diagnosed with cancer, I'm now 34.
I took the worst route possible, drugs, alcohol and self harming but somehow I survived, barely!
As a result of my suicide attempt doctors are not willing to prescribe me medication, which I can understand, however it did force me to look for alternative coping methods.
The usual suspects such as exercise and meditation, yoga..etc..are all good for depressive states, but they are not for everyone that's for sure, especially if you also contend with anxiety as many of us do.
What works for some just doesn't gel with others, this is why it's important to find what's right for you.
I love video games, not necessarily ones with guns and explosions, some games are extremely immersive pieces of art that you can lose yourself in, these are the experiences I look for. Sure, maybe I'm forgoing the real world in favour of a virtual one, but that's much better for me than the alternative.
I'm also a musician so just sitting at the piano and expressing how I'm feeling helps, sometimes I feel angry or sad, but rather than give in to those raw emotions, I will just convey them in a piece of music.
The same can be done with drawing and painting too.
You need to find, if you haven't already, what it is that makes you smile, inside and out, because even smiling to yourself in the mirror, even a forced smile usually ends up in genuine laughter, and what's better than laughter? It's good to laugh at yourself and not take yourself, or the world too seriously.
I sincerely hope you find what works for you, feel free to message me any time.