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Message: <blockquote data-quote="paula.nolan42" data-source="post: 1075043">Its not the first time I've been told that being around me can be like walking on eggshells - in fact its such a recurrent phrase, I nearly laugh when I hear it again - its like the 'universes' little running gag with me. I have danced with depression most of my adult life but I have done counselling and therapy and I try to be well. I have always tried to be nice, sending good karma and I try not to hate, I try to be good. I do what I can. - I don't want to win any popularity contests - but the people who get close to me eventually walk on eggshells - I've always thought that I don't really act on it when someone slights me or hurts my feelings but when I do decide to stand up for myself it always ends up worse than before - ending in a fight and ending in a lost friendship. - In this latest episode I had posted on FB where I was having brunch (a little fry-up) and this 'friend' posted "Are you allowed?" when I saw it I took exception to it and I phoned her and told her so. She says she meant it in a funny way... (isn't that always the way and what do you do with that ?) So then she stopped playing 'Word With Friends' then there was nothing on FB - I texted her about it she said that she decided to 'back-off' because she didn't want to offend me again, she said that "maybe when I had come to terms with my diabetes I'd be less sensitive", And this was when she said she didn't want to walk on eggshells around me. BOOM ! I felt winded, yet another person decided that its eggshells for me. What am I - the Hulk ??? How I feel is, I am not allowed to say anything about being upset or offended or worse - because if I do then I am pissing the other person off - so the person who hurt me is waiting for me to get 'less sensitive' so that its ok to be around me again,. Its OK to hang around Bruce Banner but not the Hulk. And it would seem that there is no acceptable time for the Hulk to make an appearance, even in self defence. Of course it's all just drama and self pity and woe is me. But the thing is, this is how I lose everyone in my life so I must be doing something wrong. And just because I think I'm an OK person, doesn't actually make it so. At what point to you say, its not the depression, its not the diabetes, its not this, its not that... what it actually is is me, I'm the reason why no one stays.</blockquote>

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