weight loss

[jue 88]

why is t2 stick thin partner loosing weight.......his diet is bad,carbs,sweets,ect,but he is a "bury my head in the sand" type.....he never stops eating,,but appears to be loosing weight.
is this serious ? i am quite worried about him
many thanks :?

 

[2christine]

get him to see his GP.asap.

 

[carraway]

hi


Has he checked his sugar levels at all lately?

There isn't much you can do if he doesn't want to help himself.

See if he will read Kevin's post on here ' Terminal and Scared' a lesson to us all to take our health seriously.

Let us know how you get on


Cara

 

[jue 88]

thanks.....checked his levels the other day,,when he managed to get himself into a strop for no reason,and could not face going to work.........but did not tell me what they were !...sometimes it's like pulling teeth with him.
i am going to TRY to have a long talk with him over christmas,maybe when he is more relaxed......and coax him into looking after himself a little more,in the new year.
failing that,i will have a private word with his dn,,and see if she can do the hard work.
thanks again x
p.s...i have read "terminal and scared" posts,,they are heartbreaking

 

[hanadr]

2 things
High bllod glucose can cause rapid weight loss.
You cqannot make anyone do what they don't want to, so if he doesn't care, you can't make him. You just have to be there for when he falls flat on his face, or move on. That's cold blooded, but it might save your own sanity.
Hana

 

[jue 88]

thanx Hana,,your so right,,you can lead a horse to water,but you cant make it drink,,i think I probably need to sit down,and have a long chat with myself......TY

 

[zand]

I feel that in this day and age with everyone concerned about obesity, weight loss can unfortunately be looked upon as a good thing, and the person losing it doesn't always see it as a problem. I saw this in my Mum who, whilst recovering from cancer hated the fact that she was regaining the weight she had lost, even though medically it was good and she looked a lot better when she had regained it! Please urge him to read what Kevin has written and try again to get him to his GP. Thinking of you and hoping you can shake him out of his denial

zand

 

[jue 88]

as an example,,last night's convo went;;
him;;i am going to buy some more hot dog sausages,they are a good stand by".....(he has them in bread rolls)
me;;i am not sure you should be eating those...have you made the appointment to see the dietician yet?
him;;there is no use really,i cant afford those type of foods
me;;what type of foods?
him;; i dont know
me;;i think it is just a case of being advised what to avoid
him;;well its going to be difficult to find the time to go

head in the sand !

 

[jue 88]

and another;;
him;;had a really bad night ,last night,,the pains that are usually in my feet,were right up both legs
me;;diabetes........do you know you stop breathing in the night,then start snorting and spluttering,to get your breath back
him; no,do i ?...........pauses.........well so do you !

??

 

[douglas99]

as an example,,last night's convo went;;
him;;i am going to buy some more hot dog sausages,they are a good stand by".....(he has them in bread rolls)
me;;i am not sure you should be eating those...have you made the appointment to see the dietician yet?
him;;there is no use really,i cant afford those type of foods
me;;what type of foods?
him;; i dont know
me;;i think it is just a case of being advised what to avoid
him;;well its going to be difficult to find the time to go

head in the sand !

No offense, and please don't take it the wrong way, and I hope I don't offend you, but

"i am not sure you should be eating those..."

I hate this phrase.
I mean this as a constructive point, but from the other side as it where, with my wife, I tend to think if you don't know, don't say it then.
It would be better to find out what would be a better alternative,

eg,

"i am going to buy some more hot dog sausages,they are a good stand by".....

"see if they have any livlife bread, try them in that, it's better than rolls "

or burgen bread,

or moving down the scale, any heavily seeded, decent wholemeal bread is still a step in the right direction.


As Hana says, you can lead a horse to water, but you need to know where the water is, and not just ask if the horse knows where it's going.

I'm sorry if this sounds bad, but I am trying to be helpful, but I really can't think of a more delicate way to phrase it.

 

[jue 88]

i understand your point,,but i am as much in the dark as he is,as to what or what not he should be eating,,,,and until HE gets some guidelines from the dietician,or reads up on it,,i am not sure what to suggest.
i would just think,that tinned hot dogs sausages in white bread rolls,,would be unhealthy,even for a healthy person.
it's no good me doing the homework for him,and suggesting things,,he really needs to do his own homework.
and i understand your point,i have been walking on eggshells for a long time x

 

[douglas99]

i understand your point,,but i am as much in the dark as he is,as to what or what not he should be eating,,,,and until HE gets some guidelines from the dietician,or reads up on it,,i am not sure what to suggest.
i would just think,that tinned hot dogs sausages in white bread rolls,,would be unhealthy,even for a healthy person.
it's no good me doing the homework for him,and suggesting things,,he really needs to do his own homework.
and i understand your point,i have been walking on eggshells for a long time x

I'm really sorry, and don't want to sounds like I'm having a go at you, I am really trying to help, but my wife is exactly the same, so please try to take it as just my giving the other side your partner won't/hasn't.

Why is it down to him? He clearly needs help.

In my case, it's because I won't eat anything she cooks anymore, and cook for myself, as I did find out what to eat. She can't seem to grasp the variety, and restrictions on the food. She won't go for healthy food, ("I had my checkup and I'm ok"). She feeds the kids the same rubbish she eats, and they'll eat it as it's semi junk food kids love.
It would actually be nice if she bothered to cook a decent meal I could eat occasionally, rather than simply put a few pieces of half cold cauli on the plate where the potatoes should be. ("Well, you said cauli was ok")

She shows no interest at all in diabetes, never reminds me to take my meds, doesn't really get involved at all in any aspect of it.
Maybe she thought she was walking on eggshells, but now the eggshells have gone and it's turned into a lack of interest.

I would suggest.
Read this forum.
Post up a few meals he really likes, and we'll try to tweak them into a lower carb healthier version you can make for him (and I'm assuming you cook meals here), or switch it from the negative to the positive, and suggest what he can start out with, more veg, less spuds, livlife bread, not white etc.

(Actually, the hot dogs may be ok, post up the carbs and sugars on the type he buys)

I agree entirely on one thing, he does need to do his own homework, but I don't really think it's just his, it would be nicer for both of you if it was yours as well.

 

[jue 88]

hi,i am interested ,and try to be helpful,supportive,i have supported him all our married life,,but he is a very stubborn man,,will only eat want he likes,,,to sum up..my son is a very good chef,my husband will not eat anything my son makes,"as it is not cooked properly"..which it obviously is,,,,what he really means is "it's not burnt to a crisp".
he has already stated,,i am not a veg and salad man !
will only eat roast spuds or chips.
will not do mashed,boiled,jackets.

my problem is,i am doing all the worrying,as i am aware,he has a condition,that he has had for a long time,and it has done a lot of damage already.......and he is in denial.
and i dont want to sound selfish,,but it is me with all the stress,,,and he has his head in the sand.
meals he likes,,fish and chips (chippy)
roast dinner
chilli
6 bags of crisps a day
BUTTER
bacon sausages,fry ups
pies and pasty's
i dont eat the above,,it's not my choice,would rather have a jacket spud x

 

[douglas99]

"fish and chips (chippy)
roast dinner
chilli
6 bags of crisps a day
BUTTER
bacon sausages,fry ups
pies and pasty's"

Gawd,

where to start.

chili,
I eat that without rice, and use more beans, sometimes a few different varieties to replace the bulk of the rice.
If not, buy basmati rice.

Butter, fry ups, bacon, sausage. Not my choice, but from a low carb point of view, actually very good believe it or not.

Roast dinner - I eat these, not spuds, Yorkshires, or stuffing. Lots of veg, - cabbage, broccoli, green beans, cauli.
Sweet potato is ok, part boiled then roasted, as a replacement for normal roasties.
Livlife bread has been mentioned on here to try in stuffing, I'll be giving it a go myself at Xmas

Battered fish.
I actually did some scampi myself last night.
In a beer batter, using almond flour rather than normal white, seems to work very well.

Pies and pastrys.
Almond, chickpea, soya flour seem to be ok, but slightly different texture at times.

Chips, crisps, I haven't got anything for them. Although I have tried vegetable chips, but gave up quite quickly.

 

[Andy12345]

hi, i agree with douglas, you need to do some homework too i also agree its up to him to want to change, there isnt much you can do for someone actively self destructing, but by learning you may show him you care, you can steer him towards the better things like butter that are actually good, hot dogs arent too bad but the bread is basically sugar once digested, mashed potato is alot worse than roasties believe it or not, most people are surprised to learn about food, once you have learned and tried to help him youve done all you can, stop stressing and up the life insurance,

everything you need to know is cotained on this forum

best luck

remember hes just a bloke, you cant expect too much


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App

 

[jue 88]

will read the recipes,look for stuff he may eat,,help all i can,be the good wife,stop stressing.......OH,and the thought of life insurance would be reassuring but when it came to that,guess what ? ....he buried his head in the sand !
thanks for all the imput,,will be having a scout around for ideas,for meals,guess i wont stop him with snack stuff though.
thank you all again x

 

[Andy12345]

the fact that you are here at all means you are a good wife now hes lucky to have you


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App

 

[Garr]

Hi Jue, Just wanted to say he's a lucky man to have someone like you who obviously cares so much. My wife has never really got her head round diabetes so stopped trying. For type 2s it's all about trying to lower the carbohydrates and upping the exercise. But it's a hard thing to do when you've got a willing 'patient' never mind an 'ostrich'. When you buy food for him, check the carbohydrate content on the nutritional value panel and see if you can find an alternative that's lower and see if you can coax him out on walks. Not much of a help but I guess you cant force him into it. Good luck.

 

[douglas99]

will read the recipes,look for stuff he may eat,,help all i can,be the good wife,stop stressing.......OH,and the thought of life insurance would be reassuring but when it came to that,guess what ? ....he buried his head in the sand !
thanks for all the imput,,will be having a scout around for ideas,for meals,guess i wont stop him with snack stuff though.
thank you all again x

You can't stop him snacking, but have a look on here for alternatives. Cakes, a low carb mincepie recipe, there's got to be a few things that'll stop one bag of crisps, and that's one less portion of bad carbs a day gone.
Then move it onto bag 2.
Just don't mention the low carb/healthier carb bit, simply make the changes, feed him the food, if he eats it, make it again.
Even one less potato, and another scoop of meat of veg is a start, if all else fails.
It's not so much change by stealth, just make the low carb/healthier carb food the new normal, no discussion, no fuss, just a gradual change to his diet over the future.

 

[Andy12345]

will read the recipes,look for stuff he may eat,,help all i can,be the good wife,stop stressing.......OH,and the thought of life insurance would be reassuring but when it came to that,guess what ? ....he buried his head in the sand !
thanks for all the imput,,will be having a scout around for ideas,for meals,guess i wont stop him with snack stuff though.
thank you all again x

You can't stop him snacking, but have a look on here for alternatives. Cakes, a low carb mincepie recipe, there's got to be a few things that'll stop one bag of crisps, and that's one less portion of bad carbs a day gone.
Then move it onto bag 2.
Just don't mention the low carb/healthier carb bit, simply make the changes, feed him the food, if he eats it, make it again.
Even one less potato, and another scoop of meat of veg is a start, if all else fails.
It's not so much change by stealth, just make the low carb/healthier carb food the new normal, no discussion, no fuss, just a gradual change to his diet over the future.

beware the mince pie recipe i made it yesterday, today all thats left is crumbs