What do we want from our forum?

i feel very sorry for those parents i have a nine year old myself who loves his footy and his swimming and would be gutted not to be able to do either. after 5 years of being diabetic we have discovered this site and its been a wealth of knowledge and helpful advice from some lovely people. what a shame these people have been scared off by whatever has gone on recently we could have helped them im sure.

anna marie

Viv

I think this has been a very positive thread - after such a wierd week.

Can I just add that we probably need as few HCP to post - there are some of us around who will stick our necks out - whilst there are some awful HCP around we are not all the same.

Allyx

I agree with Ally, this is a very positive move forward. It's easy to get stuck in a rut of pondering why something bad has happened...

Hi

Am a regular lurker but dont really post much anymore, due to the low carb debate on this site a while ago before the separate sections where introduced.

The situation which has arisen seems to me to be very similar to wat happened over 12 months ago, verbal slanging matches every day, ppl getting banned, sending nasty pm's, ppl leaving the site all seems so familiar!!!!

Wen i was diagnosed i found the help on this site invaluable, it put me on the straight and narrow and helped me gain better control of my diabetes, BUT, all the bickering, sarcasm and throwing dummies away really wore me down, so that was the reason i decided to read but not to contribute as much.

Why cant everyone just accept that ppl are different and individual to their own medical needs, and as in real life we all cant get on and like everyone all the time, if we dont like somthing someone says in real life we choose to ignore them, but on here jeeze u cant do that u have to go for the jugular wat starts off as a normal post turns into a debate then to a personal slanging match which gets out of control very quickly its playground stuff having ur lollypop taken away!!!

I applaud cugila and sugarless sue for the job they did, but lets be fair they were stuck between a rock and a hard place acting as riot police on a regular basis, they were in a no win situation. They were chosen as moderators due to their support and input to other members on a regular basis, but its hard to wear two hats at the same time, joining in with a debates they feel passionate about then having to moderate the posts from other members, it was never gonna work, and wen they do their best to keep the peace, they are stripped of their status wat an adult way to run the site!!!

The other problem i see is with all the different personalitites, u cant put emotion into posts like u can with a face to face chat and see others reactions thats half of the problem words are sometimes taken out of context.

So wat i want from this forum is it to be an information and knowledge sharing site with a friendlly atmosphere which makes me want to return so that i can contribute my knowledge and information as to wat works for me so that it maybe help someone else and things start working for them.

Thats my 2p's worth

Juliex

Thanks candy,
My sentiments exactly about Ken and Sue, they were on a hiding to nowhere.
We are all guilty of letting this happen as we gave no feedback as to what we as members wanted or where not happy with. Hindsight is great after the event.
If you read Sugarless Sue's post in this thread, now locked, you will see that they needed better guidelines for moderation and were doing the best they could with the tools they had.
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viewtopic.php?f=2&t=21445

Without them this forum would have had an even harder time as those that like to cause disruption would have had a field day as had happened in the past.

They have had to put up with distasteful,caricature blog posts that they must have found highly distressing, (these are still going on) and we do have enemies within who glean information on people's profiles to take back to people who are banned so that they can use it to their advantage to ridicule them on blogs. There are members here who post comments on these blogs to discredit members here as well. You would be surprised if you knew the names of some people ridiculed in these blogs.

You might say that it is best not to read the blogs but it does give you an insight into some member's behaviour.

Most people think, "How lovely, a forum to help diabetics, let's join". That is how it should be but there is much more than that going on behind the scenes.

Hi catherincherub

whilst i agree somewhat with u that we are all guilty in letting this happen, but these post as so repetative, i can remember posting exactly the same comment regarding the low carb debate, it was horrrendous at the time, i was a new member and made to feel like a naughty child and was wrong as i didn't follow low carb, i was shot down time and time again for this and it got to the stage where i openly admit that i did pm admin to say cant u put a stop to it, was sick of all the personal insults between members wen all that i wanted was to gain better understanding of my diabetes. the low carb section was then created!!!! ( and it was members of the forum today who were as guilty of this, then we had the low carbers bein told they cant post into the no carb forum and on and on it went pathetic really)

This has all been done and said before, we want this, we want that, were all sick of the constant sarcasm and degrading belittling of members,

The way i see forward is to separate the mods from the forum posts, they cant wear 2 hats due to the members takin offence wen they try to moderate a post. Better moderation guidelines need to be set up with strict rules for all, no ifs and buts. Maybe we supervisors who oversee the posts to make sure it isn't turning into a slanging match, or if indeed we do have moderators we need to see that their moderating style isn't turning into a power trip, with a distinct difference in font to state that this is a moderator rule rather than their own personal view

Anyhow i for one am sick of it all again, an arguement is a confrontation either written or oral to gain a response from the other person, if one side does't take the bait to respond arguement over its simple really, u cant argue with urself, although that is entirely another topic for a differet forum lol

Juliex

Viv,

Great thread!

I hope the forum is somewhere we we can gain information, and share experiences. I can't count the number of times I have read a thread, and thought...hmm, never heard of that happening, only for the same thing tohappen to me a few weeks/months later!

I also ask that we can keep a good sense of humour. Diabetes is a serious subject, and I have serious conversations about it with my health care team...so what I really love about the forum, is the less serious stuff, about how we all deal with diabetes in the real world...it is important, and something you can only really discuss with others, who know what you are going through..rather than know all about what you are going though.

Unfortunately evey internet forum "kicks off" from time to time. I am a member of a Labrador Forum and some of the rows on their are legendary!!

Lorna

sugar2 said:

...it is important, and something you can only really discuss with others who know what you are going through, rather than know all about what you are going though.

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Brilliant. I will remember that.

ljwilson said:

I am a member of a Labrador Forum and some of the rows on their are legendary!!

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:lol: Love it! Made me smile!

Seeing about the labrador forum actually reminded me as well....I can't go on any fibromyalgia forums-because they are so depressing.....this site doesn't do that, it is a friendly informed place with some really good helpful support in a POSITIVE way!!!!!

I agree with the original post by viv.

I joined this forum looking for support for my friend who was a T1, and within 1 year I end up diagnosed with T2 oh the irony :lol:

I was welcomed given lots of great advice from before it was confirmed right the way threw to where I am now always updating my posts and getting replies. I shared the worst news of my life about my kidneys with total strangers of this forum that I have not even to this day told friends. All the time my questions where answered with dignity and if they didnt know they would point me to someone who would.

Thats the type of forum I want. Somewhere people like me can come. From the first moment of dread to the worst news of your life. Somewhere you feel welcome and confident to post without fear of abuse or retaliation.

I also had a fantastic opportunity from this forum and the main site. I won the competition to Switzerland and had a fantastic week courtesy of the site. A life changing trip. Thats what makes this place great I never in a million years thought I would win something like that.


I don't know much about what's happened and as someone whos just hear to get help and offer any I can I don't want to. I just want it to go back to how it was.

If thats to much to ask I fear the future

Suggestion.................................

Not sure if there is one, but would some form of "constitution" work??????

In order to be a member you have to agree to some rules, it doesn't have to be a long thing, just a couple of paragraphs that we all have to sign up to.

It would be along the lines of how y'all can comment on my suggestion: -

If you support it, say so. If you can offer improvements, say so.

If you don't support it, say so. If you think it's the most bonkers idea you've ever heard, say so.

If my suggestion greatly offends you, say so. If it offends you so much that you feel the need to call it names, say so - even saying the names.

Just don't insult me or call me names - just respect the fact that I have an idea & expressed it.

That's what I, and I think most of the others on here want and could be summed up in a few paragraphs that we sign up to.

Now, let the witch-hunt & burning begin.....................................

grh1904 said:

Suggestion.................................

That's what I, and I think most of the others on here want and could be summed up in a few paragraphs that we sign up to.

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Just re-read my last post, think my last comment is a bit misleading.....

Didn't mean to sound as if I & the others actually want a constitution, what I meant to say was that what I want (& probs the others) is a forum where commenting is good, it's the personal name calling that's bad............................

Glad that's cleared up then.............................. :? :?

Actually, GRH1904 I think that something like a consitution or a code of conduct is no bad thing. We've got the rules already but perhaps these might benefit from a little reexamination in the light of recent events to both protect posters and give mods a more supportive framework in which to operate.

catherinecherub said:

and we do have enemies within who glean information on people's profiles to take back to people who are banned so that they can use it to their advantage to ridicule them on blogs.

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Yes this was quite evident on one of the blogs in question that belittle and persecutes members on this forum, what does Admin have in place to stop this occurring again in the future?

Nigel

catherinecherub said:

They have had to put up with distasteful,caricature blog posts that they must have found highly distressing, (these are still going on) and we do have enemies within who glean information on people's profiles to take back to people who are banned so that they can use it to their advantage to ridicule them on blogs. There are members here who post comments on these blogs to discredit members here as well. You would be surprised if you knew the names of some people ridiculed in these blogs.

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This reminds me of the old (or young of course) , lonely, nosy and nothing else to do but to peek through a small opening in the curtain to spy on their neighbors so that they can gossip and spread malicious rumors type of people.

What do these people who pass on our profile to others gain out of their actions? They must really lead a miserable life and deliberately go out of their way to make others feel as miserable as they do.

Maybe they are jealous and can't stand to see people lead a happy life.

But in their twisted mind they (just) might think they are 007 gathering information for a very important mission (or person). :lol: :lol:

I find this sort of behavior very immature and very infantile! :evil: :roll:

viviennem said:

Yes, Ka-mon - but we're going forward with this thread, not looking back.

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You can't go forward without looking back. If it wasn't for the events that happened in the past there would have been no need for this thread. The thing is to look back and try to find ways to minimise the unpleasant things that happened a couple of years ago and recently in the last week. This includes finding out who is passing on our profiles and getting rid of the "spy". I thought this is what this thread is all about???

I'm broadly in agreement with grh1904 - a summary of expected behaviour from forum members to read through when we join up? Like the 'terms and conditions' on other sites, that don't let you go any further until you've read them and ticked the box. Not everyone reads them, of course - but bettr than nothing.

Any thoughts on this one? we don't want to get too formal - one of the strengths of this place is the easy, friendly attitude.

Viv 8)

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No matter what rules you include in T&Cs and force people to read them there will always be those who have nothing else to do but cause trouble.

I find that the usual T&Cs in any forum are clear enough and everyone who has been in forums knows that if you do not follow these rules you are out. 99% of people know how to behave, it's just the 1% who just can't or deliberately do not want to behave themselves and go out of their way just to cause trouble no matter how strict the rules in the T&Cs are. There is no way to force them to behave, the only thing is to warn them twice and ban if they cause trouble once more just ban them.

Hi

I think the comments from everyone have been very true. I would like to be able to say to my own pts - have a look on here but I have not recently because of all the nonsense.
The problem is not on here it is with other places that put references to here about people and posts - you cannot stop that.
There are some very sad individuals on the web I am afraid.

Ally