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"What have you eaten" Parallel Chat

Annb said:
Probably not any different. They are hot but I rather fancied the idea of filling them with a cream cheese filling, dipping them in a very light batter and deep frying them, or baking them without the batter. I have to admit I haven't tried them but have seen it done and thought it worth trying. But not with these ones. They'll do fine just grated over food directly from the freezer.
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If you ever get to try with good jalapenos, please let us know how it went! I might want to try as well :)

Not in the mood for cooking or dealing with diabetes, so I'll eat a 'rookworst' and call it dinner.
 
maglil55 said:
Thanks for the concern. I briefly explained what was going on but kept it to a minimum. Eldest grandson has been "anxious" since he was 3. What happened was he developed what I can only describe as a "terror" of a particular teacher at nursery. It took us a few weeks to work it out as the other staff didn't talk about things. Even now we still don't know the full story. We do know she belittled him as I caught her when she wasn't aware I'd come in. He had a problem with his ears and wasn't hearing properly so didn't say much at all. He did though keep saying things like "I'm a rubbish boy, I'm a wicked boy" which we discovered later came from her. We quickly removed him and yes, complaints were made to the school & the council which prompted other parents to do the same. They did remove her from the nursery but, to our horror, all they did was move her to the Primary as she was close to retirement. Anyway, he settled really quickly in a private nursery which was a very loving environment.
Everything was fine until the transition days to primary and the terrors and anxiety returned. When I say terrors he shakes and it's difficult to get him to do anything. It turned out that he was convinced "she" would be there to terrorise him again. Once he was assured she wasn't he settled again but his reaction was so strong it was decided it would be a good idea to refer him to CAMHS to deal with this anxiety.
All was peaceful until he was 7 and we passed the gate of the school where "she" had been. Shuddering again but he announced "that's where that mean person was that got in my face, screamed in my ear and it hurt" (due to ear problems he'd since had surgery to fix). He did settle again but I should add we still cannot pass that school with him.
We had heard nothing from CAMHS despite reminders. We have still heard nothing from them - 18 weeks waiting period they say! Try 6 years and counting.
Situation became drastic 3 weeks ago. As you know, he was really anxious about going back to school after lockdown but we got him through that. 3 weeks ago we had an infection confirmed, just one case, but that resulted in 3 Classes (close to 100 children) self isolating. We have very large classes you see. He started to get nervous again and to add to the problem his usual assistant Class teacher was also self isolating as she had 2 children in the self isolating classes. This meant a new one came in and unfortunately, something about her has acted as a trigger to these deep rooted memories of "her" and he is terrified again. School is not "safe". First week he did go to school but I could sense something was building in him. Second week I had to go and collect him on the Tuesday early. He'd had a bit of a cold but he was really distressed. He gets so anxious he makes himself ill. Kept him off a couple of days but then on the Friday he came with me to school but would not go in - it wasn't safe. I had to take him away again.
Can't get an answer from CAMHS, called GP for an emergency appointment (was offered a call back at the end of January!!) - after threatening hell & damnation eventually was offered a call back on the Tuesday. We were left with no other choice other than to get an emergency appointment with a private child therapist. Costs an arm and a leg but his health is more important. He's now had 3 sessions and it's come out this new teacher is a trigger. They believe she has triggered the fears of "her". They said it might be she has a similar hairstyle, resemble her or it could be as simple as a word that has caused the fears to come to the surface. It's not her fault but now he associates her with everything that happened 7 years ago.
We have made progress this week. We have managed to get him into school part of the morning but currently they have to keep this teacher well away. He does work then I take the rest home and we do it there. He will talk to me and thankfully he's eating again.
We're all physically drained and I will never forgive "her" for this. Goodness knows how many other children she damaged.
To really cap things off I came back to the news that we're going into full lockdown on Boxing Day because there are 17 cases of this variant in Glasgow and schools won't go back as planned?? Seriously, this is going to feed his concerns even more. Add in that we are on edge waiting to hear the verdict on my brother and you can probably guess my stress levels are through the roof.
We still have heard nothing from CAMHS but he's getting private treatment now. Perhaps I should send she who cut the funding to CAMHS the bill for the private treatment? 18 weeks?? I have some sympathy because their funding was slashed but 6 years is a joke.
So that's why I disappeared. Catching up on myself a bit now but it also means that my DIL will have to shut down her clinic again.
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This is traumatic to read, like something from a horror film, that poor little boy.
I think mental health services in the whole UK are collapsing under the strain so getting a private consultation is probably the best money you’ll ever spend.
My heart goes out to you and him and the whole family. It’s horrible to watch someone you love suffer, and when it’s a child it’s tragic.
I’m not sure when your brothers appointment is - I haven’t read to the end of this thread yet, so you may have mentioned the date later. Everything is crossed for you all, you’ve had enough to cope with these last couple of years.
 
At the end of each day I like to play Scrabble online, but I've obviously been spending too much time on this forum because I got cross when it wouldn't allow me to put "libre" or "omad"
 
DJC3 said:
This is traumatic to read, like something from a horror film, that poor little boy.
I think mental health services in the whole UK are collapsing under the strain so getting a private consultation is probably the best money you’ll ever spend.
My heart goes out to you and him and the whole family. It’s horrible to watch someone you love suffer, and when it’s a child it’s tragic.
I’m not sure when your brothers appointment is - I haven’t read to the end of this thread yet, so you may have mentioned the date later. Everything is crossed for you all, you’ve had enough to cope with these last couple of years.
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CAMHS has been decimated in Scotland. Millions slashed of their funding much like drug & alcohol rehab where Holyrood now only fund 22 rehab beds. Rather explains why we've had the worst drug deaths in Europe for the 6th year running. What a record but that's what happens here.
Grandson has had 3 sessions now and it's definitely helping. He has one more tomorrow before we have to revert to Zoom sessions due to the non evidence based decision to lock all of Scotland down from Saturday. Goodness knows what another lockdown, schools shut and everything else is going to do to his already fragile state and just when he is improving.

I have to admit despite distracting myself catching up, shopping etc I am really, really struggling. My brother's appointment was today and the news is devastating. No treatment, palliative care only. I didn't expect that at all. I honestly expected them to try immunotherapy. I don't know how I feel devastated, yes but mostly I am really angry at the mess these incompetents have made of devolved healthcare. Two telephone consultations and no scans for a recovering cancer patient? I don't blame the hospitals, they can only follow the orders they get. Goodness knows how many more cancer patients will get the same news due to the decision that nothing mattered apart from Covid. I wish I could believe their decision for no treatment but I can't. This is a country where DNR notices were put in the files of elderly patients being discharged back to care homes.
So, he's terminal. 6 to 12 weeks, maybe a little longer. It's reliving my other brother all over again and both of them were/are so matter of fact about it. They're going to their son's for Christmas and their daughter & family are heading up from England. I will certainly be going to visit lockdown or not.
I kind of hoped 2021 would get better. How wrong can you be. Sorry to go on but you know and understand all the feelings.
 
maglil55 said:
CAMHS has been decimated in Scotland. Millions slashed of their funding much like drug & alcohol rehab where Holyrood now only fund 22 rehab beds. Rather explains why we've had the worst drug deaths in Europe for the 6th year running. What a record but that's what happens here.
Grandson has had 3 sessions now and it's definitely helping. He has one more tomorrow before we have to revert to Zoom sessions due to the non evidence based decision to lock all of Scotland down from Saturday. Goodness knows what another lockdown, schools shut and everything else is going to do to his already fragile state and just when he is improving.

I have to admit despite distracting myself catching up, shopping etc I am really, really struggling. My brother's appointment was today and the news is devastating. No treatment, palliative care only. I didn't expect that at all. I honestly expected them to try immunotherapy. I don't know how I feel devastated, yes but mostly I am really angry at the mess these incompetents have made of devolved healthcare. Two telephone consultations and no scans for a recovering cancer patient? I don't blame the hospitals, they can only follow the orders they get. Goodness knows how many more cancer patients will get the same news due to the decision that nothing mattered apart from Covid. I wish I could believe their decision for no treatment but I can't. This is a country where DNR notices were put in the files of elderly patients being discharged back to care homes.
So, he's terminal. 6 to 12 weeks, maybe a little longer. It's reliving my other brother all over again and both of them were/are so matter of fact about it. They're going to their son's for Christmas and their daughter & family are heading up from England. I will certainly be going to visit lockdown or not.
I kind of hoped 2021 would get better. How wrong can you be. Sorry to go on but you know and understand all the feelings.
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Dear Lord, Maglil, I'm so, so sorry to hear your news. Life can be so incredibly cruel.

Look after yourself.
 
maglil55 said:
CAMHS has been decimated in Scotland. Millions slashed of their funding much like drug & alcohol rehab where Holyrood now only fund 22 rehab beds. Rather explains why we've had the worst drug deaths in Europe for the 6th year running. What a record but that's what happens here.
Grandson has had 3 sessions now and it's definitely helping. He has one more tomorrow before we have to revert to Zoom sessions due to the non evidence based decision to lock all of Scotland down from Saturday. Goodness knows what another lockdown, schools shut and everything else is going to do to his already fragile state and just when he is improving.

I have to admit despite distracting myself catching up, shopping etc I am really, really struggling. My brother's appointment was today and the news is devastating. No treatment, palliative care only. I didn't expect that at all. I honestly expected them to try immunotherapy. I don't know how I feel devastated, yes but mostly I am really angry at the mess these incompetents have made of devolved healthcare. Two telephone consultations and no scans for a recovering cancer patient? I don't blame the hospitals, they can only follow the orders they get. Goodness knows how many more cancer patients will get the same news due to the decision that nothing mattered apart from Covid. I wish I could believe their decision for no treatment but I can't. This is a country where DNR notices were put in the files of elderly patients being discharged back to care homes.
So, he's terminal. 6 to 12 weeks, maybe a little longer. It's reliving my other brother all over again and both of them were/are so matter of fact about it. They're going to their son's for Christmas and their daughter & family are heading up from England. I will certainly be going to visit lockdown or not.
I kind of hoped 2021 would get better. How wrong can you be. Sorry to go on but you know and understand all the feelings.
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So sorry to read this, @maglil55 . You really have had so much to contend with for so long. Words and virtual hugs don’t seem enough, but sending some. x
 
@maglil55 I am so sorry about your brother. Huge hug coming your way and another big hug for your grandson. Some people really shouldn't be teachers. xx
 
Chook said:
@maglil55 I am so sorry about your brother. Huge hug coming your way and another big hug for your grandson. Some people really shouldn't be teachers. xx
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You can say that again! I did say that at the time that the woman should have been nowhere near young children. She had neither the manner nor the patience.
He did, however, have another session today before we're totally locked down and seemed a lot brighter despite them gradually easing the memories out of him.
 
For @maglil55 , @Annb , @Antje77 and any one else feeling like there's too much happening or feeling a bit down
Heres a short poem that I find helps me. Just find a quiet place for a few minutes, press play and close your eyes and listen. Sometimes I put it on 2 or 3 times over.
Repeat as often as wanted.
My Christmas present to you all for giving me such a good welcome to the D club. I hope you enjoy it and find it as calming and restorative as I do.
 
I ignored everything and went to visit my brother today. They only live 3 miles away but I haven't seen them for almost 10 months. We speak all the time but it's not the same as seeing them face to face. Surprisingly, they're remarkably normal. Brother looks the same, is eating well and, apart from his legs are still a bit shaky, you wouldn't know there was anything wrong. I was confused why immunotherapy was not an option. He's healthy enough but they reckon it won't work. He's very much of the opinion that he'll take one day at a time and enjoy Christmas with their grandchildren. He feels fine currently.
I'm still really angry that the lack of 2 checkups and 2 scans could have changed the situation.
 
maglil55 said:
I ignored everything and went to visit my brother today. They only live 3 miles away but I haven't seen them for almost 10 months. We speak all the time but it's not the same as seeing them face to face. Surprisingly, they're remarkably normal. Brother looks the same, is eating well and, apart from his legs are still a bit shaky, you wouldn't know there was anything wrong. I was confused why immunotherapy was not an option. He's healthy enough but they reckon it won't work. He's very much of the opinion that he'll take one day at a time and enjoy Christmas with their grandchildren. He feels fine currently.
I'm still really angry that the lack of 2 checkups and 2 scans could have changed the situation.
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I’m glad you ignored everything and went to see him today, I doubt that wild horses could have kept you away.
He seems to have an astoundingly stoic attitude and I hope he continues to feel fine for a long time. I can’t believe you are going to go through all this again though, my heart goes out to you and all the family.
 
Virtual hugs to all who need them - what a year!

Things seems a lot harder to deal with at this time of year as well - my hubby was at a funeral this morning (it was a guy he went through nursery & school with - only 52 years old) and last night we received a phone call to tell us his old aunt is very ill in hospital and it is only a matter of time - I hope she lasts another couple of days anyway for the sake of the family but I am probably being a bit selfish as she is now suffering - poor soul

I have still got some wrapping to do so I better get off and get it done and then there's the housework etc etc ...

I hope you have a nice day today and Merry Christmas to one and all xx
 
maglil55 said:
CAMHS has been decimated in Scotland. Millions slashed of their funding much like drug & alcohol rehab where Holyrood now only fund 22 rehab beds. Rather explains why we've had the worst drug deaths in Europe for the 6th year running. What a record but that's what happens here.
Grandson has had 3 sessions now and it's definitely helping. He has one more tomorrow before we have to revert to Zoom sessions due to the non evidence based decision to lock all of Scotland down from Saturday. Goodness knows what another lockdown, schools shut and everything else is going to do to his already fragile state and just when he is improving.

I have to admit despite distracting myself catching up, shopping etc I am really, really struggling. My brother's appointment was today and the news is devastating. No treatment, palliative care only. I didn't expect that at all. I honestly expected them to try immunotherapy. I don't know how I feel devastated, yes but mostly I am really angry at the mess these incompetents have made of devolved healthcare. Two telephone consultations and no scans for a recovering cancer patient? I don't blame the hospitals, they can only follow the orders they get. Goodness knows how many more cancer patients will get the same news due to the decision that nothing mattered apart from Covid. I wish I could believe their decision for no treatment but I can't. This is a country where DNR notices were put in the files of elderly patients being discharged back to care homes.
So, he's terminal. 6 to 12 weeks, maybe a little longer. It's reliving my other brother all over again and both of them were/are so matter of fact about it. They're going to their son's for Christmas and their daughter & family are heading up from England. I will certainly be going to visit lockdown or not.
I kind of hoped 2021 would get better. How wrong can you be. Sorry to go on but you know and understand all the feelings.
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Oh Maglil, there's so much I want to hug you all for all the traumas you are suffering right now. Words just aren't enough. It's breaking my heart, so goodness only knows what it is doing to yours.
 
Annb said:
Oh Maglil, there's so much I want to hug you all for all the traumas you are suffering right now. Words just aren't enough. It's breaking my heart, so goodness only knows what it is doing to yours.
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Thanks Ann. I'm just getting on with it. I'm more angry than anything. If all cancer treatment/check ups had not been stopped and he'd had his check up and scans perhaps the outcome would have been different, or perhaps it wouldn't. I guess we'll never know but it would have been better to have the choice. I'm grateful my brother looks and feels so well so it's one day at a time. I'm more concerned about grandson who will now have to go onto zoom sessions with his therapy due to this whole mainland lockdown plus I have no idea whether the lockdown and the delayed opening of schools will make things worse.
 
maglil55 said:
Thanks Ann. I'm just getting on with it. I'm more angry than anything. If all cancer treatment/check ups had not been stopped and he'd had his check up and scans perhaps the outcome would have been different, or perhaps it wouldn't. I guess we'll never know but it would have been better to have the choice. I'm grateful my brother looks and feels so well so it's one day at a time. I'm more concerned about grandson who will now have to go onto zoom sessions with his therapy due to this whole mainland lockdown plus I have no idea whether the lockdown and the delayed opening of schools will make things worse.
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Maglil, do you have anyone you can talk to about your anger and frustration? I know when my Mum was terminal, I felt very aggrieved by how long it had taken to reach a diagnosis (primary lung cancer), and by then it was straight to palliative care.

I was fortunate to attend an appointment with my Mum (which itself was farcical, but that's a book o it's own!), and spoke to the Consultant (with Mum's permission) whilst she was having an x-ray.

From there, I engaged with Macmillan, and chose to do that with Mum's Macmillan nurse. If she had not been open to it, I'd have engaged with MacMillan directly (their online forum I found to be good too). Mum's nurse was excellent and spent a long time talking me through a lot of stuff. Clearly, it didn't change Mum's diagnosis or her fate, but I understood certain pathological mechanisms better, and probably most important of all, I felt heard.

I so, so feel for you. It's an unspeakably horrid time for you, even without all the pandemic and supposedly festive season to endure. If I could I'd give you the biggest heartfelt hug.
 
DCUKMod said:
Maglil, do you have anyone you can talk to about your anger and frustration? I know when my Mum was terminal, I felt very aggrieved by how long it had taken to reach a diagnosis (primary lung cancer), and by then it was straight to palliative care.

I was fortunate to attend an appointment with my Mum (which itself was farcical, but that's a book o it's own!), and spoke to the Consultant (with Mum's permission) whilst she was having an x-ray.

From there, I engaged with Macmillan, and chose to do that with Mum's Macmillan nurse. If she had not been open to it, I'd have engaged with MacMillan directly (their online forum I found to be good too). Mum's nurse was excellent and spent a long time talking me through a lot of stuff. Clearly, it didn't change Mum's diagnosis or her fate, but I understood certain pathological mechanisms better, and probably most important of all, I felt heard.

I so, so feel for you. It's an unspeakably horrid time for you, even without all the pandemic and supposedly festive season to endure. If I could I'd give you the biggest heartfelt hug.
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I talk to Hubby. I've been through this so often now. My Mum was first. That was the first time I had to deal with anger at her death. That's when I realised so many different emotions were possible. My Dad was next and that was while I was recovering from the major spinal surgery following my encounter with a 40 ton lorry on the M6. My brother and sister were next. They were long term cancer patients, both incurable so I lived with that a long time. Add in that was the year I lost 6 relatives and my son ended up in ICU in a medically induced coma. This time it's different. It should not have happened.
It is a scandal that cancer patients have not had their treatments/check ups or scans and that is down to so called politicians that made these decisions (and I don't mean BJ). As I said to Ann, if he had received his scans maybe the outcome would be the same, maybe it wouldn't matter a jot but at least he would have had a chance.
I do use MacMillan for advice, particularly in my sister's case as her husband was a nightmare during a lengthy illness and I was run ragged trying to organise things. I got Attendance Allowance sorted out for my brother prior to his prognosis and I've recommended to him and my nephews/nieces to get in touch with MacMillan. I'll probably use the Macmillan forum to see if anyone can make sense of how 2 small leisons and no sign of the primary elsewhere can equal no treatment and a 12 week survival estimate when he looks so well. I know getting answers doesn't change the outcome but at least I'd know everything had been tried.
 
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