When/how did you tell your family?

[Fallgal]

I am very recently diagnosed. In November, I had to tell my family/friends that my skin cancer was back (after 13 years), and I had to have surgery (and have to have another one at the end of this month.) My family and nearly all my friends live 4500 miles away. My mom does not take bad news well. I'm afraid this just might put her over the edge. I'm not sure how to slip this into conversation with my parents, other family members or friends. I'm wondering if I really need to tell them at all. I don't live in the same country, haven't been home in three years and it may be another year or more before I get to visit.

So how did you do it? Thank you!

 

[Osidge]

I told my family immediately; first my partner, then my siblings and then my parents. From that flowed a cascade of others, including work. I felt that I needed help and understanding from those around me. My later diagnosis of Parkinson's Disealse was a bit more difficult to deal with but followed the same path - although work came first as I returned there immediately post diagnosis. With regards to my siblings, it was important to let them know. Medical histories always include serious health problems of siblings and other close family members.

Hope this helps

Doug

 

[nuttybeaver]

When I was diagnosed I told those closest to me first. I was lucky, my family are very supportive & have been throughout my life.

Unfortunately I have had many things go wrong throughout my life & they've always been there

If it wasn't for the support from my family I wouldn't be the person I am today. Diabetes or not

T2, Metformin 850 Mg (1 tablet twice daily), venlafaxine 75mg (1 tablet daily), buscopan 10mg (2 tablets 4 times daily)

 

[Bluetit1802]

12 months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My husband was with me when I had the initial assessment and biopsy so he knew from the start. He also came with me to the official diagnosis appointment. The next day we told our daughter and her husband, and she told her children straight away. I then told all my close friends. Then I told everyone else. A week after getting my 12 month "all clear so far" I was diagnosed with T2 diabetes! I don't do things by half, especially as I am still on active treatment for the cancer. My family needed to know, and I needed them to know because quite honestly I could not have managed without any of them and the unfailing help and support they have given me. The sooner you do it, the better because it sounds very much like you are stressing about it - and that isn't good. I wish you luck.

 

[audsital]

Hi fallgirl,i live in italy and all my family in scotland. When i was hospitalised at diagnosis i was dreading phoning my parents as my mum wasn't long out of hospital with serious heart problems. In the end i just took a deep breath and called them, the first thing i said was don't worry i'm fine but... good luck though, they will guage a lot on the sound of your voice so although you might not feel like it if you sound a little positive it will help them with the initial shock. I really hope all goes well for you. Sending a big hug!

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[Lyn Wong]

I was diagnosed in 2008 I was unable to tell my partner for quite a long time until 2012 when I had a TIA (stroke)when I needed my partners support since then I have felt better and my last HBA1C is 33% I'm doing well the DN said but I do keep on top of things by testing my glucose level all the time

 

[carraway]

My husband new immediately. I have no other family, an only child whose parents have both died.

However my husband, despite being fairly bight, bought me 5 boxes of chocolates fro Christmas.

I have lots three stones in weight and he has no idea.

 

[Judith138]

I haven't told most of my family. I'm a bit overweight (but working well on getting rid of it) and they're body fascists....I've told a few friends. But I'm shocked at the 'blame game' about T2 in the media, among professionals and in casual conversation. I'd like to see Diabetes UK do a campaign against this.

 

[luceeloo]

I haven't told most of my family. I'm a bit overweight (but working well on getting rid of it) and they're body fascists....I've told a few friends. But I'm shocked at the 'blame game' about T2 in the media, among professionals and in casual conversation. I'd like to see Diabetes UK do a campaign against this.

I can understand why people are so cautious to tell people. I did tell people, and luckily my other half and family have taken it in their stride.
The people I work with are a different matter. My department manager believes I did this to myself and obviously his solution to the problem is that I should lose weight...he came out with this gem whilst talking to another manager whilst I was in the room! Totally oblivious to the fact that I've lost 4 stones! He has changed the way that he both treats me and talks to me - it's like he has no time for me. Another young man in the office spouted off the other day about people "giving themselves diabetes". I didn't correct him, it's not worth it.
However, if I could redo my time, I wouldn't mention a thing to them.

 

[mrs gimli]

I'm lucky in that my lot have been great

 

[HpprKM]

I also told family immediately as they need to be aware, mine is genetic. They also able to be supportive.
Also, my husband diagnosed with Parkinsons three years ago - that was harder to share but it was my daughter in law who first brought the issue to our attention. Of course it is not an easy condition to conceal. Note to Osidge - I see you have Parkinsons also - would like to PM with you if you are open to this. I did write a post asking if anyone had experience of spouse having Parkinsons - though it seemed no one did.

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[HpprKM]

Some brave people here!

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[jackie_b]

It seems my type 2 was provoked by the dexamethasone prescribed for me during my breast cancer treatment. Apparently it's a known side effect but I'm gutted I was not told.
I tell everyone, and so far haven't been blamed for causing it, but I too am fed up with the " a little bit won't hurt you" attitude from my husband.


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[HpprKM]

Yes, you get that a lot from some people - my husband is not a good disciplinarian for me, used to keep buying chocolates - managed to stop him at last!

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[AnnieC]

I t

I am very recently diagnosed. In November, I had to tell my family/friends that my skin cancer was back (after 13 years), and I had to have surgery (and have to have another one at the end of this month.) My family and nearly all my friends live 4500 miles away. My mom does not take bad news well. I'm afraid this just might put her over the edge. I'm not sure how to slip this into conversation with my parents, other family members or friends. I'm wondering if I really need to tell them at all. I don't live in the same country, haven't been home in three years and it may be another year or more before I get to visit.

So how did you do it? Thank you!

I think you are in a bit of a unique position as all your family live thousands of miles away .Maybe not tell your Mom if you think it may affect her badly as you have already had to give her your other bad news. As for the rest of your family and friends perhaps it should be on a need to know basis
Good luck with your coming operation I hope it goes well for you and so sorry you have to cope with the diabetes as well.

 

[maryphill]

Told the family straight away. The general reaction was not either they were not really bothered or it was all my fault

 

[popsy]

Well, I live in New Zealand, my Mum, when she was alive lived in England and bad news is never easy to tell when you live so far away. But your Mum is an adult and loves you I am sure, perhaps respect her enough to tell her the truth. It will be hard for her maybe but in the long run I am sure it's best and besides, you don't need this hanging over your head as well as having to deal with your own situation.

Take care sweetie and big hugs.

Good Luck with your decisions and with all that you have to deal with