Pura Vida
Well-Known Member
WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE
This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.
Men Are Just Happier People!
Your last name stays the same. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet - You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache... You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
NICKNAMES
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is ten times that amount A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
FUTURE
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
NATURAL
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
So, send this to the women who have a sense of humour .... and to the men who will enjoy reading.
This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.
Men Are Just Happier People!
Your last name stays the same. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet - You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache... You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
NICKNAMES
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is ten times that amount A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
FUTURE
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
NATURAL
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
So, send this to the women who have a sense of humour .... and to the men who will enjoy reading.
