Dear Nicki1111
I am sorry you are having a hard time of it at the moment.
It sounds like you are letting your feelings get the better of you. Such feelings of anxiety and worry are not uncommon especially in the newly diagnosed. I would guess that the main reason for these negative feelings is uncertainty about how to go about controlling your sugar levels and consequently a feeling of helplessness and apprehension about possible future complications.
It would appear to me that the best way to overcome these feelings is through educating yourself on how to control your glucose, devise a plan how to go about it and then put it into practice.
If you look around this forum you will see plenty of success stories and people are usually not shy in coming forward with advise on how to go about it.
Start by reading the basic information for newly diagnosed in the newly diagnosed section of the forum.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/ind...-Newly-Diagnosed-Diabetics.26870/#post-247834
Anything that you do not feel certain about just ask us to clarify. There are some very helpful people on this forum who never tire to offer advise and the benefit of their own experience.
Set your self small achievable targets and work towards achieving them but do not be disheartened by any setbacks- we all have them.
Pavlos