Pura Vida
Well-Known Member
: YOU CAN TELL 'EM IN CHURCH
Attending a wedding for
the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother,
'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied,
'Because white is the colour of happiness,
and today is the happiest
day of her life.'
The child thought about
this for a moment then said,
'So why is the groom
wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl, dressed in
her Sunday best, was running as fast as
she could, trying not to
be late for Bible class. As she ran she
prayed, 'Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please
don't let me be
late!' While she was running and praying, she
tripped on a curb and
fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her
dress. She got up,
brushed herself off, and started running again!
As she ran she once again
began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't
let me be late, but
please don't shove me either!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the
schoolyard bragging about
their fathers. The
first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles
a few words on a piece of
paper, he calls it a poem,
they give him
$50.'
The second boy says,
'That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on
piece of paper, he calls it a song,
theygive
him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I
got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on
a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon,
and ittakes
eight people to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died
last month.
Having never married, she
requested no male
pallbearers. In her
handwritten instructions for her
memorial service, she
wrote,
'They wouldn't take me
out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take
me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was
asked during the exam,
'What would you do if you
had to arrest your own
mother?'
He answered, 'Call for
backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher
asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took
Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied,
'They couldn't get a babysitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher
was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her
five and six year olds.
After explaining the
commandment to 'Honor thy
father and thy mother,'
she asked,
'Is there a commandment
that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and
sisters?'
Without missing a beat,
one little boy answered,
'Thou shall not
kill.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they
were teaching how God
created everything,
including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed
especially intent when they
told him how Eve was
created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his
mother noticed him lying
down as though he were
ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what
is the
matter?'
Little Johnny
responded,
'I have pain in my
side.
I think I'm going to have
a wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You don't stop laughing
because you grow old.
You grow old because you
stop laughing!
Take heed and pass these
along to people who
need a
laugh.
I thought you would enjoy
this.
'They haven't found a way
to tax you for
laughing
yet.'
Attending a wedding for
the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother,
'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied,
'Because white is the colour of happiness,
and today is the happiest
day of her life.'
The child thought about
this for a moment then said,
'So why is the groom
wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl, dressed in
her Sunday best, was running as fast as
she could, trying not to
be late for Bible class. As she ran she
prayed, 'Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please
don't let me be
late!' While she was running and praying, she
tripped on a curb and
fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her
dress. She got up,
brushed herself off, and started running again!
As she ran she once again
began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't
let me be late, but
please don't shove me either!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the
schoolyard bragging about
their fathers. The
first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles
a few words on a piece of
paper, he calls it a poem,
they give him
$50.'
The second boy says,
'That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on
piece of paper, he calls it a song,
theygive
him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I
got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on
a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon,
and ittakes
eight people to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died
last month.
Having never married, she
requested no male
pallbearers. In her
handwritten instructions for her
memorial service, she
wrote,
'They wouldn't take me
out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take
me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was
asked during the exam,
'What would you do if you
had to arrest your own
mother?'
He answered, 'Call for
backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher
asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took
Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied,
'They couldn't get a babysitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher
was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her
five and six year olds.
After explaining the
commandment to 'Honor thy
father and thy mother,'
she asked,
'Is there a commandment
that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and
sisters?'
Without missing a beat,
one little boy answered,
'Thou shall not
kill.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they
were teaching how God
created everything,
including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed
especially intent when they
told him how Eve was
created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his
mother noticed him lying
down as though he were
ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what
is the
matter?'
Little Johnny
responded,
'I have pain in my
side.
I think I'm going to have
a wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You don't stop laughing
because you grow old.
You grow old because you
stop laughing!
Take heed and pass these
along to people who
need a
laugh.
I thought you would enjoy
this.
'They haven't found a way
to tax you for
laughing
yet.'
