Sarah, welcome to the forum.
You have landed in the right place, we have all felt the " it's unfair, why me" but when you look around here you see it's part,of,life and someone somewhere is going to be affected.
Now the choice is yours, you,know you have a problem, put you head in the sand or face it and change things.
Please decide to change, it's your choice no one else's, if that is your decision to make thing better you could not have come to a better place, the knowledge and encouragement you will find in this forum is, to my mind is second to none.
Please read the various threads, ask questions, as many as you want and come to your own conclusions.
I know my opening "welcome to the forum" might appear strange since you have joined an illness forum, but you the assistance on here and a little self help it could actually improve your life going onward.
Good luck in your journey.