@Ruby2shoes Welcome to the forum. Tagging
@daisy1 for the welcome pack. We are here to help so please keep posting.
You are in an almost impossible situation.
He is in denial and almost certainly scared to death so he is pushing everything away as too difficult, not enough time, don't like it. If he ignores it then it won't happen.
You can't make him eat properly, he has to accept that he needs to change. Probably the more you push him the more he will resist.
Metformin is fine on a very low carbohydrate diet. You don't need carbohydrates in your meals because it is the one food group that you can live without. The main problem is that carbohydrates are very addictive, and also most of us have been brought up to believe a meal isn't a proper meal without carbs.
I had a quick look at the Michael Mosley web site and I couldn't immediately find a recommendation to eat carbs throughout the day, just a low carb Mediterranean style of eating. There is plenty of information on this site about low carbohydrate eating.
In your first post you said "First problem this morning he doesn't eat breakfast (unless it's a cooked one) but mostly he can't stomach eating first thing before he goes off to work. I got him up earlier this morning so if he wanted eggs, bacon or toast he could, he then claimed he didn't have time. I got him out weetabix, toast, yoghurt, apple and banana and said have one of these instead then and he said he couldn't face it and just had a cup of coffee."
Couple of points:
- the cooked breakfast is wonderful. Fills you up and stops you snacking. Weetabix and a banana is seen as healthy (advertising) but for a diabetic it is crammed full of carbohydrate so that is a breakfast to avoid if you are going low carbohydrate.
- His tactics seem classic denial. If you try to give him something to help he makes excuses and just has coffee. I would bet money that as soon as he is out of the house he is thinking of where he can get a breakfast. He probably knows every cafe and fast food joint to and from work and accessible from wherever he is during the day. I doubt he got to 23 stone on what you have been feeding him.
All you can do, I think, is to make sure that only healthy food is available at home and see if he eventually adjusts, What does he do if you make a meal that he won't eat? Does he cook for himself or order a takeaway? If you do all the shopping then if you make sure there aren't any easy carbohydrate heavy snacks in the fridge or larder (that includes bread) then he will either have to shop and cook for himself or eat what you cook.
One small gain you might make; there is a current theory about Resistant Starch. where if you cook pasta, chill it in the fridge, then reheat it then there is a lot less carbohydrate available. This could make pasta meals a lot healthier. You can do the same with potatoes; boil them (preferably new potatoes which aren't as carby), chill them then cook them again. I would be tempted to slice them thinly and fry them (lard or olive oil) to get more fat into them. Fat is your friend, carbohydrate is your enemy.
If you feel like making a point about his mother dying at 51, you could always insist that he gives you money every week to go into the funeral plan because he has only 6 years to go and funerals are very expensive. £15 a week should build up to £4,000 over 6 years, especially if you put it in an ISA. In your name so he can't spend it. Perhaps £25 a week just in case he doesn't last that long.
Otherwise you may have to wait until he is off work with a heart attack and/or damaged eyesight before he starts to take notice.
You know he is being wilfully stupid but you can't force him to be sensible.
For your daughter, what does she eat, how tall is she and what does she weigh? She may be perfectly healthy but just look emaciated compared to her father. Low carbohydrate and high fat (if she likes the food) can also be good to maintain and gain weight.
Have you considered that her reluctance to put on weight may be a direct result of the death of her Granny and the illness of her father? Is she willing to help you by joining you in healthy eating and making the low carbohydrate meals the normal food in the household? Obviously you need to eat what you are asking him to eat.
Massive sympathy for your position. Don't worry about not being diabetic yourself The forum is for friends and family as well.