T2 vs T1 stigma - anyone else feel a bit 'shamed' for having T2?

[JohnEGreen]

I am adopted. I grew up in a closed adoption meaning that I was not allowed to know anything about myself - ethnicity, family medical history - absolutely nothing.

I have met my bio father who never knew I existed. He has type 2 diabetes. It's one of the first things he told me. I also took a direct-to-consumer genetics test via 23andMe. It showed that genetically I had a higher-than-average risk of developing diabetes.

I have long been an adoptee rights advocate for things like unsealing adoption records (in Canada half of our provinces/territories still have sealed records) and the importance of knowing one's family medical history. As a result I am very open about my diabetes (and other medical conditions) to illustrate the influence of genetics, and how wrong it is that adoptees are not allowed to know family medical history.

I have no idea who my paternal grandfather was my father was illegitimate so I don't even know what my family name would have been. Green being my paternal grandmother's maiden name and my dad would never talk of it. Being the son of a single mother in 1916 brought you into a lot of prejudice. So no idea either about family medical history on my grandfather's side of the family.

It's left a bit of a void in my life to be honest not knowing who you really are.

 

[neithskye]

I have no idea who my paternal grandfather was my father was illegitimate so I don't even know what my family name would have been. Green being my paternal grandmother's maiden name and my dad would never talk of it. Being the son of a single mother in 1916 brought you into a lot of prejudice. So no idea either about family medical history on my grandfather's side of the family.

It's left a bit of a void in my life to be honest not knowing who you really are.

I understand, having grown up knowing zero blood relatives. Unwed pregnancy was still shameful in 1970 when I was born. My unwed teen mother was sent away to a maternity home to hide her from prying nosy neighbours' eyes.

Have you considered DNA testing? You spit into a tube then mail it off. You can receive health info, ancestry information, and match with other DNA relatives. There are DNA search groups who help people put together family trees and search for family members. Might be a way to get some answers.

 

[JohnEGreen]

I understand, having grown up knowing zero blood relatives. Unwed pregnancy was still shameful in 1970 when I was born. My unwed teen mother was sent away to a maternity home to hide her from prying nosy neighbours' eyes.

Have you considered DNA testing? You spit into a tube then mail it off. You can receive health info, ancestry information, and match with other DNA relatives. There are DNA search groups who help people put together family trees and search for family members. Might be a way to get some answers.

Yes I have been considering doing the Ancestry dot com DNA test for a while so may take the plunge soon not only is my grandfather a complete unknown my father fell out with his family before I was born and never reconciled with them so I have never met them either, though since I have had my ancestry dot com account I have had some email contact with some of the newer generation first cousins I never knew I had.

 

[Bluetit1802]

My story is identical to @JohnEGreen.

I have done a DNA test on Ancestry but not a lot of use really without a surname or any other details to go off. Believe me, I have done all I can over the last 20 years.

 

[julie56]

I have never felt shame in my diagnosis - if people want to finger point and make judgements that is up to them. I see it as something that can happen to anyone and be the result of many causes. The main thing is that my body for whatever reason can't process carbs and thankfully that is something I can try and control alongside medication. I would love to give up the meds, but have not yet managed to do so but I won't give up the fight. Although I don't like having the condition and it was probably the cause of my heart attack last year I still think it is preferable to Type 1. We are human beings and sometimes our bodies let us down, all we can do is concentrate on doing the best we can and ignore negative comments from people who have no understanding of the challenges we all face.

 

[samochod]

Is there no such thing as a shy American?

 

[neithskye]

My story is identical to @JohnEGreen.

I have done a DNA test on Ancestry but not a lot of use really without a surname or any other details to go off. Believe me, I have done all I can over the last 20 years.

What are the closest DNA relative matches you have? Like second cousin or third cousin?

 

[Robbity]

Why should I be expected to feel at all ashamed because someone in their ignorance chooses to be judgemental? They're responsible for their (petty minded bad) attitudes, not me.

Robbity

 

[first14808]

Is there no such thing as a shy American?

She makes some good points. I think it may be a little unfair to blame GPs because they're only following orders. Or the official guidelines. Those are looking increasingly outdated, but GPs have to contend with the myriad of ailments we present to them, managing a practice and trying to keep up with the literature. So if in doubt, it's safest to look at what NICE tells you.

Specialists have (or should have) better awareness, but presumably still have to work within NHS guidelines. A lot of conference videos show growing understanding that diabetes may be a symptom with a range of causes, and non-binary. It's not just T1 or T2. We share common ground though, so carb intolerance. I think a big challenge is still overcoming preconceptions, especially in the face of industry pressure and lobbying. We saw that with opposition to sugar taxing. I think it's hard to overlook that diabetes (and obesity) have risen pretty much in lockstep with junk food.

I also think policy interventions like sugar taxes can be counterproductive, especially if those are simply passed through to consumers.. Or result in non-sugar alternatives which may taste sweet, but could end up harmful. I think one simple solution would be to make sure cooking & nutrition are a bigger part of the education system. They're essential life skills, but there's a lot of people who may not get to learn those at home. But being centralised, there's still the potential for bad advice. So cooks know fat = flavour, but we're constantly told fat is bad. All good things in moderation!

 

[lucylocket61]

I dont feel ashamed. But i DO often feel saddened, hurt, defensive, bullied, misunderstood, disbelieved, patronised and attacked - and thats just by some of the medical professional I have dealings with. Its even worse among the general population.

And, I am sorry to say, by some even on this forum.

 

[Bluetit1802]

What are the closest DNA relative matches you have? Like second cousin or third cousin?

The closest are probable 3rd cousins (extremely high confidence)

 

[LooperCat]

I have no idea who my paternal grandfather was my father was illegitimate so I don't even know what my family name would have been. Green being my paternal grandmother's maiden name and my dad would never talk of it. Being the son of a single mother in 1916 brought you into a lot of prejudice. So no idea either about family medical history on my grandfather's side of the family.

It's left a bit of a void in my life to be honest not knowing who you really are.

I’m in a similar boat, just a generation different. No idea who my father is, but I am very involved with my birth mum now, after being adopted as a baby. So I only have half the medical history picture.

 

[barbherod]

I am another adoptee, a war baby with no family history known. As a "slimmish" T2 I have always been asked if it is genetic but honestly don't know. Diabetes is diabetes whatever the cause and I have always addressed it as something to be dealt with, no blame attached anywhere.

 

[neithskye]

The closest are probable 3rd cousins (extremely high confidence)

I asked because there are some groups like DNA Detectives that help people put together a family tree, and you work backwards with the help of your matches. In this way you don't need a surname as shared DNA is what matters. I don't know much about it. I'd been reunited in the 90s before DNA testing was available.

 

[Mr_Pot]

I asked because there are some groups like DNA Detectives that help people put together a family tree, and you work backwards with the help of your matches. In this way you don't need a surname as shared DNA is what matters. I don't know much about it. I'd been reunited in the 90s before DNA testing was available.

How does this work? How can they find DNA matches with people who didn't give DNA samples?

 

[JohnEGreen]

Ancestry.com DNA now has a data base with the DNA of over 10 million people. but of course if some one has not submitted their DNA they can't match to them.

 

[Dodo]

My story is identical to @JohnEGreen.

I have done a DNA test on Ancestry but not a lot of use really without a surname or any other details to go off. Believe me, I have done all I can over the last 20 years.

I did the Ancestry DNA test and had so many replies from people who have matched with me. 2nd, 3rd and 4th cousins whose family names have matched with my ancestry tree, relatives I wasn’t actually looking for. I was only interested in my father’s ancestry, but my mother’s relatives were the ones interested in me, Maybe it’s worth a try, you might actually find out more than you know.

 

[ickihun]

I have no idea who my paternal grandfather was my father was illegitimate so I don't even know what my family name would have been. Green being my paternal grandmother's maiden name and my dad would never talk of it. Being the son of a single mother in 1916 brought you into a lot of prejudice. So no idea either about family medical history on my grandfather's side of the family.

It's left a bit of a void in my life to be honest not knowing who you really are.

A very nice man. What more is there to know?
You are who YOU are. Our family members can be soooo different to us.
I'm the only diabetic but it doesn't mean I'm not a nice person.
You are who you are. No matter who your family members are.
Stand up and be proud. You need no backing. You may be the first..... to many things.

 

[ickihun]

Am I ashamed of not being a T1 but a T2?
Erm no.
However I've had symptoms at 6yrs old so I'm either a rare T2 or something (maybe stress) was knocking my natural insulin pathway.
Stress makes my IR worse and thrush too. In turn weight gain or no weight loss in times of stress. My bodies defence mechanism.

I've hear T1s can start after a stressful event too.

Next people will be accused of causing their own stress. Really?

 

[neithskye]

A very nice man. What more is there to know?

Lots. That's why genealogy is such a huge hobby.

"In all of us there is a hunger, marrow-deep, to know our heritage - to know who we are and where we have come from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning. No matter what our attainments in life, there is still a vacuum, an emptiness, and the most disquieting loneliness."
-- Alex Haley, author of "Roots"