Hi
@Little_Lucy,
Thank you for being brave enough to say what others have wished they could have said. Life with diabetes can be a drag which never lets up.
Your honesty and wish to share your problems are some of the best signs that you have the where-with-all to deal with this dilemma or this fork in the road. And
@Grant_Vicat is right. There is so much going on at 16. Reminds me of that old song "At Seventeen" by Janis Ian.
I was 16 , 48 years ago. and had been on insulin for 3 years, Sound familiar? And crazy as it sounds
life with diabetes was easier in some ways: no pumps to fill and set up, only 2 basic insulins to inject, no finger pricks, just urine testing and diet was to do with eating the same each day, filling up on cheese to ease hunger as I grew and, whatever else, avoid hypos.
But somehow I was supposed to ward off the evils of diabetes complications with this 'set of tools'. The
motivation to conform to the rules that doctors set down for diabetes was
by instilling fear, the fear of complications.
You know what? I would swop places with you if that were possible - except that would be most unfair on you.
The best motivation I can offer you and others in your situation is that even with the archaic way diabetes was managed back in the 1960's
I have somehow managed to be alive, well, healthy with just minor diabetic-related troubles like cataracts (I blame the Aussie sun), carpal tunnels/trigger fingers)
now 52 years after diagnosis.
The fork in the road you face is whether with all the technology these days that can keep blood sugars monitored, insulin delivered and complications at bay and even reversed
, do you put diabetes in the too hard basket and ignore all the pluses of modern technology (things I, for example, had no access to until well past the time when complications can show up) or
do you regain the rhythm, little by little, knowing that you are actually doing yourself a favour both now and for the long-term.
You will have noted that as diabetics
we need to think ahead. Make sure we take some pump supplies, insulin , spare food etc with us in case we are delayed. Allow for exercise, eating out and 101 other things. That can be a curse in the sense of being so un-spontaneous, but we also know how embarrassing, un-cool and sometimes dangerous a lack of preparation can be!!.
Our peers do not have the need to be as responsible. But at some point we all need to develop the ability to be responsible if we wish to enjoy more freedom in what we do and how we decide on things.
What made my life bearable, worth battling against the lapses in doing the testing etc?
Humour: giving injections was 'javelin practice", my new insulin pump (only started on pumps in 2012) is called 'Tonto" and if I was going to really stir things up I would be using the soft toy lion with a pouch (one the Pump company has this as an accessory for children with insulin pumps) to house my pump when out and about. And rather than being down on myself when I forget to do something or make a mistake, I can blithely say, "Well it was either my fault or the weather's" (and the weather cannot speak back)
Self humour takes the sting out of the situation. That does not mean I should be slack or irresponsible but just not be too critical of myself.
Breathing: I used to tense up if I had a hypo - the embarrassment, the humiliation - that is pretty immediate but over time I have learnt to diminish the negative feelings and keep the humourous parts, What helped was the realisation that stress (I have to do this finger-prick, Oh *** I forgot that bolus) made me hold my breath and keep all the tension inside. Nothing could be reasoned out or solved in that state. If I took even, steady breaths, not too rapid, not too deep, I could think, re-prioritise and find my way out of the jungle. You may been unconsciously tensing up at the thought of restarting testing or attention to diet.
Friends: Your peer group is really important and most important are: friends who come to understand your needs, who can look out for you when things are tough, or you are slipping into a hypo because you are distracted by something. They will be important to some degree throughout your life. My friend whom I go kite-flying with will occasionally say: "Is ya kite flying in the water? -a reference to perhaps getting hypo.
Hobbies and Pastimes: give you interests, skills, to share with peers and fellow enthusiasts, can grow with you, can help with exercise, provide some distraction from the ups and downs of life.
So Best Wishes at 16 with taking the short view of doing what is needed to feel better immediately and the longer term view of keeping on keeping well. Diabetes:
It is all about balance..............it can be overwhelming at times ............................things can go wrong
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But we learn and others help....................................And we find that most things are possible
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