I've been diabetic for going on 12 years now. Was diagnosed at 12 and I'm nearly 24. I have just never got it? I don't think it's ever sunk in properly. I sometimes think maybe my self esteem is so low with it I just don't really care enough about myself to sort it out. I forget insulin, I rarely ever do blood tests. I was put on the freestyle libre after a lot of arguing with doctors and although I could see it has potential as a life changing product... It's just a bit ****. More often than not the sensors arrive faulty, leaving needles in my arm and gushing blood... Or fall off halfway through the life cycle.
I don't know what to do to change how I handle my diabetes. I've been very lucky and not had a lot of serious health issues so far despite my bad control. I understand it's what you can't see that's the problem though and can lead to some nasty long term effects.
I'm a strong enough person. I've dealt with some very difficult family issues and mental health problems. I've travelled to some amazing countries around the world that most diabetics would dare to visit.
I've got a successful career ahead of me and a wonderful girlfriend... But I just can't sort the diabetes out.
I think I've got into a habit of not checking my blood sugar because I feel like I'll be punished for it being high. This comes from experiences as a young lad at the children's diabetes clinic. Some of the doctors there weren't the most understanding people. I used to visit alone because my Mum would be working. I was one of the older people at the clinic as I was 12 going on 13 and most of the children were very small. The place was catered to small children and their parents not a teenager struggling with not just diabetes but all the challenges that puberty brings. Feeling like I was being punished or told off for my poor control made me resent myself and feel guilty for having high blood sugar. I think this is why I still have anxiety around checking my sugars. I think I've got a voice in my head almost saying "what you don't know can't hurt you". In reality of course it is completely the opposite!
Anyway thanks for reading if you made it this far. I just needed to vent some frustration.
I don't know what to do to change how I handle my diabetes. I've been very lucky and not had a lot of serious health issues so far despite my bad control. I understand it's what you can't see that's the problem though and can lead to some nasty long term effects.
I'm a strong enough person. I've dealt with some very difficult family issues and mental health problems. I've travelled to some amazing countries around the world that most diabetics would dare to visit.
I've got a successful career ahead of me and a wonderful girlfriend... But I just can't sort the diabetes out.
I think I've got into a habit of not checking my blood sugar because I feel like I'll be punished for it being high. This comes from experiences as a young lad at the children's diabetes clinic. Some of the doctors there weren't the most understanding people. I used to visit alone because my Mum would be working. I was one of the older people at the clinic as I was 12 going on 13 and most of the children were very small. The place was catered to small children and their parents not a teenager struggling with not just diabetes but all the challenges that puberty brings. Feeling like I was being punished or told off for my poor control made me resent myself and feel guilty for having high blood sugar. I think this is why I still have anxiety around checking my sugars. I think I've got a voice in my head almost saying "what you don't know can't hurt you". In reality of course it is completely the opposite!
Anyway thanks for reading if you made it this far. I just needed to vent some frustration.