The Affluence of Incohol

[Robinredbreast]

I had eighteen bottles of Whisky and was told by my wife to empty the contents down the sink or else!

I said I would proceed with this unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured it down the sink with the exception of one glass which I drank.

I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of 1 glass which I drank.

I extracted the cork from the third bottle and poured the glass down the sink, which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass which I drank.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

Then I corked the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the sink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles and sinks with the other, which was 29 and as the house came by I counted them again.

Finally I had the house in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not half as think as you might drunk. I am. I fool so feelish. I don't is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.

I'm not under the affluence of incohol as tinkle peep I am.


This was found loose inside a book obtained via a local charity shop with no attribution as to the author

 

[Squire Fulwood]

Ah memories. I had a friend who used to make fabulous wine. He won a national award for one of them. At work we had a local magazine and he was asked to write something for it. He wrote, "The Gas Man Cometh". where he had a similar task of getting all his wine stuff out of the cupboard under the stairs to enable the gas man to work.

I fear the original may be lost but if ever it surfaces I promise to put it in the joke section of this forum.

 

[notned]

Ah memories. I had a friend who used to make fabulous wine. He won a national award for one of them. At work we had a local magazine and he was asked to write something for it. He wrote, "The Gas Man Cometh". where he had a similar task of getting all his wine stuff out of the cupboard under the stairs to enable the gas man to work.

I fear the original may be lost but if ever it surfaces I promise to put it in the joke section of this forum.

The 'Gas Man Cometh' is also a song by Flanders & Swan.


J.

 

[Squire Fulwood]

The 'Gas Man Cometh' is also a song by Flanders & Swan.


J.

This was a different gas man.

 

[notned]

This was a different gas man.

Same gas, different man..