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Please help me to help my friend

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Heathenlass said:
By specialist services, I mean services specific to his circumstances, such as parole officers, benefits agency etc.. There was no implication that he is not stable in any way. . Interesting that you thought that....

Signy
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no no, that was more in response to what some of the other comments recommended than yours specifically
 
Ben Sale said:
i assume his DLA is provided alongside his job seeker's allowance meaning its controlled by the Job centre who have an incredible habit of F-ing people over!
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No, it's a completely different department, You can claim DLA if you are working, or not. I agree however, that the Jobcentre have a reputation for getting things badly wrong :confused: The part of the Benefits Agency that deal with DLA and ESA are not infallible either :(

Signy
 
Heathenlass said:
No, it's a completely different department, You can claim DLA if you are working, or not. I agree however, that the Jobcentre have a reputation for getting things badly wrong :confused: The part of the Benefits Agency that deal with DLA and ESA are not infallible either :(

Signy
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Hmmm that is strange. either way, theyve told him he's not getting it until tuesday
 
Ben Sale said:
no no, that was more in response to what some of the other comments recommended than yours specifically
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No problem, that's forums and text for you ;) I think it's great that you are so concerned for him, and a tragedy that things have come to this pass for Ryan.
Hopefully you will have heard back soon if he has taken himself off to hospital or sought help elsewhere :(

Signy
 
Heathenlass said:
No problem, that's forums and text for you ;) I think it's great that you are so concerned for him, and a tragedy that things have come to this pass for Ryan.
Hopefully you will have heard back soon if he has taken himself off to hospital or sought help elsewhere :(

Signy
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I've just been speaking to him actually and he decided he didn't want to go to hospital so i transferred him a tenner (he failed to mention he found his bank card today!) but the machine ate the flaming money so now he's well and truly stuffed! I'm going to try and pick up some leftovers on my way out of work but that won't be until late unfortunately. ive also been sending him all of your advice, so thankyou so much. he's got his girlfriend over looking after him at the moment but she gave him the last of her money the other day. im hoping he will swallow his pride and call either the SA or his old parole officer.
 
mate, he is starting to smell funny, the machine ate his money...have you known him long? there may be a reason his parents are estranged and doors are being shut on him
 
jack412 said:
mate, he is starting to smell funny, the machine ate his money...have you known him long? there may be a reason his parents are estranged and doors are being shut on him
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Well thanks for taking a plea for advice to accusing my friend of thieving from me. its not like he's in danger of going to hospital or anything so yeah im sure hed steal the money even though the only thing he would spend it on is the food it was meant to spent on
 
mate, I'm 60 and have seen a lot, his girl friend has given him all her money, you are sending him money, it's destroyed please send more, take it as you will but he smells funny to me
 
youre all right. i should let him drop down dead and be taken to hospital even though ive seen him go without food all week except for the small charity hes been given by his friends just because some people who have never met either of us from a forum on the internet tell me to.
Thankyou to everyone on here who has genuinely tried to help me and taken time to give suggestions of ways we could get help.
 
wow. wow. i see. i thought this would be somewhere i could find help from some like-minded people in similar situations who could help my friend in some way because they have more experience and knowledge than i do and now some 60 year old key-board warrior has decided ive falcified the whole thing? sick. that is just sick. im stuck at work trying to do all i can to help my friend who has been let down by everyone else and all you can do is turn around and criticise me for it? you know, jack, i think maybe you should take your **** stirring somewhere else because the more grown up of us are trying to come up with some solutions to a poteentially life threatening dilemma.
Again, id just like to thank those of you who have ofered me some genuine advice and support
 
it truly is wonderful to see that the middle class still see poverty as a lie and dismiss it.
Are you a politician by any chance, jack? you should be, from what you've said to me you sound like you'd fit right in. perhaps a tory?
 
To be fair....
there really are some unfortunate people who just lurch from misfortune to misfortune, and are not strong enough to get a grip on their lives. It's usually up to the people who care about them to help out.

A few things I do know, ex prisoners often have a hard time post release for various reasons, and the queues at food banks in what is meant to be a developed country is saddening indeed :( Maybe I sound naive, but what would Ben get out of posting this thread ? He's asked for advice, not money, and even if his friend is using him as a prop, then that's commendable, if maybe misguided?

I don't know the OP or his friend , and it would be naive to believe everything you read on the net, but I hope to give the benefit of a doubt until it becomes otherwise apparent. If Ben is genuine, then I imagine he would be angry and hurt and lash out.

I'm not taking sides here or making accusations against anyone, just saying it's possible , however unlikely it may seem.

Signy the Lefty Liberal ;)
 
Heathenlass said:
To be fair....
there really are some unfortunate people who just lurch from misfortune to misfortune, and are not strong enough to get a grip on their lives. It's usually up to the people who care about them to help out.

A few things I do know, ex prisoners often have a hard time post release for various reasons, and the queues at food banks in what is meant to be a developed country is saddening indeed :( Maybe I sound naive, but what would Ben get out of posting this thread ? He's asked for advice, not money, and even if his friend is using him as a prop, then that's commendable, if maybe misguided?

I don't know the OP or his friend , and it would be naive to believe everything you read on the net, but I hope to give the benefit of a doubt until it becomes otherwise apparent. If Ben is genuine, then I imagine he would be angry and hurt and lash out.

I'm not taking sides here or making accusations against anyone, just saying it's possible , however unlikely it may seem.

Signy the Lefty Liberal ;)
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Thankyou for your support in the face of such disgustingly unnecessary criticism. For those of you who happen to be interested, i have arranged for a friend to take some food round to Ryan's so, god willing, he will be fine but we will still go through the motions recommended to me by the more helpful and commendable members of this website in order to try to get a better handle on his situation.

I appreciate your viewpoint fully but i can reassure any of you who think i am in fact his prop that he is finding the whole situation incredibly stressful and does not like asking for money as much as he can help it- it was in fact his last resort. i am ofcourse angry at being accused of such a disgusting crime. However, there will always be keyboard warriors who wish to see the worst in every situation instead of helping. Should Jack still be mistrusting of me (no matter how unjustified his mistrust may be) i would like to extend the invitation to him that he might come and meet my friend and i, take a look at his medical records and whatever other proof he may need. We live in hertfordshire so if you are close by, jack, send me a message and he and i would be more than happy to put your worries to bed :)
 
theres an offer thats hard to refuse, visit your hungry sick friend and go through hes medical history, i reckon you be crazy not to jack


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