I think I know what you might be feeling. Be kind to yourself though, you're only human. If you need to talk, you know where I m xI so want to give you a big squeezy hug. You are doing great and will get there. stressful day here at work and I have just eaten 3 custard doughnuts and how hate myself. Long walk when I get home and a new day tomorrow.
Yes, I really, really do want to change! I am so glad I pushed the whole "I know my thinking is wrong and I don't just need another diet" thing, because the psychological help is proving really helpful. I wished I'd pushed it earlier now though! However, it's awful, I don't like it and I'm not enjoying food, it's just...well...horrible. I can't imagine ever being any different and quite honestly, even though I hate my relationship with food, it's all I know and it feels safe. I'm kind of scared about the unknown if I'm honest.
Trouble is, I don't even know what the destination looks like, so I'm on a scary journey with an unknown destination . But I've got this...I have to do it.Changes to people or culture are where the challenges really lie. I often say that when we want to change, or see a need for change, we get excited about the destination, but feel less enthusiastic about the journey. I think that's where you are now.
Trouble is, I don't even know what the destination looks like, so I'm on a scary journey with an unknown destination . But I've got this...I have to do it.
I really value everyone's support and input, thanks so much.
Which food don't you like?Yes, I really, really do want to change! I am so glad I pushed the whole "I know my thinking is wrong and I don't just need another diet" thing, because the psychological help is proving really helpful. I wished I'd pushed it earlier now though! However, it's awful, I don't like it and I'm not enjoying food, it's just...well...horrible. I can't imagine ever being any different and quite honestly, even though I hate my relationship with food, it's all I know and it feels safe. I'm kind of scared about the unknown if I'm honest.
Any of it. My rule is eat it quickly so you don't have to know you're eating it. Or distract yourself so you don't know you're eating it. If i think about it it feels like the food is just multiplying in my mouth. I like the fullness that food gives me but don't actually enjoy eating food. It's complicated. And you wonder why i have therapy?Which food don't you like?
So what do you eat?Any of it. My rule is eat it quickly so you don't have to know you're eating it. Or distract yourself so you don't know you're eating it. If i think about it it feels like the food is just multiplying in my mouth. I like the fullness that food gives me but don't actually enjoy eating food. It's complicated. And you wonder why i have therapy?
Food. I don't enjoy it but that doesn't mean I don't eat it! I crave the fullness feelings, but not the taste or texture of foods. I think I said that already, I'm not sure where you're heading with this?So what do you eat?
If we know what kind of thing you like then perhaps we can make suggestions. For example, no point in recommending red meat dishes if you don't like meat.Food. I don't enjoy it but that doesn't mean I don't eat it! I crave the fullness feelings, but not the taste or texture of foods. I think I said that already, I'm not sure where you're heading with this?
Ah I see, sorry, was having bit of a meltdown last nightIf we know what kind of thing you like then perhaps we can make suggestions. For example, no point in recommending red meat dishes if you don't like meat.
Perhaps as the weight comes off you'll feel better! I love everything you dislike so I can't suggest any of my diet there is a thread where people post what they've eaten - maybe there's some ideas there which might not be so bad? Big hugs!Ah I see, sorry, was having bit of a meltdown last night
I eat all proteins except sea food and I don't like orange fish like salmon or trout. Veggie-wise, I'm not a fan of courgettes or peppers but I eat them. Olives and sundried tomatoes are completely out (yuck LOL). Not a fan or dates or blueberries. The problem isn't with the food being low carb, it's just food generally that I don't enjoy...not at the moment anyway. I'm told that by the end of the CBT I may be at a point where I can enjoy food, but with a really strong core belief that eating food is wrong, she thought it more realistic that I'd tolerate, rather than enjoy it. Who knows? Maybe I'll prove her wrong
LOLPerhaps as the weight comes off you'll feel better! I love everything you dislike so I can't suggest any of my diet there is a thread where people post what they've eaten - maybe there's some ideas there which might not be so bad? Big hugs!
60 pounds is fab! I found that once I'd lost a bit I found I was looking in the mirror and couldn't believe I'd let myself get so fat. Now I just keep grabbing bits in the mirror and asking my hubbie how long it'll be before it goes! @Loobles it won't be long till we're looking fab!LOL
I think I will feel better once the weight starts to come off with the improved eating behaviours. I've lost nearly 60 pounds now, but it's not been in a very healthy way. At the moment I'm just in that stage where I don't feel terribly confident about it and everything seems a bit unknown. I don't think next week could possibly be as difficult as this week, which means things can only get better!
i've seen and contributed to that other thread and I have found some useful ideas there, thanks for the suggestion though, I'll be sure to keep an eye on it x
I have days when I can't face food. I used to either eat nothing or choke some down, but recently I started using a protein shake - one of the low-carb ones from the supermarket. I find that a mugful of that fills me up, and I know I'm getting my basic low-carb nutrition. You have to check the labels, as not all are low-carb, and some are low-carb but made over-sweet with artificial sweeteners. Some are also low-fat, so I add double cream. £30-ish seems a lot for a tin, but you only use one scoop a meal, so it doesn't cost much more than real food.Food. I don't enjoy it but that doesn't mean I don't eat it! I crave the fullness feelings, but not the taste or texture of foods.
Interesting you should say that because the thought had crossed my mind that (especially with snacks which I hate eating) a kind of meal replacement shake might be an idea. I have a fairly strict eating plan though and feel I should ask this therapists advice before I do that. Sometimes when I suggest something innocuous like that, she tells me it just perpetuates eating disordered thinking, so i suppose I should ask..don't want to dig a deeper hole LOL.I have days when I can't face food. I used to either eat nothing or choke some down, but recently I started using a protein shake - one of the low-carb ones from the supermarket. I find that a mugful of that fills me up, and I know I'm getting my basic low-carb nutrition. You have to check the labels, as not all are low-carb, and some are low-carb but made over-sweet with artificial sweeteners. Some are also low-fat, so I add double cream. £30-ish seems a lot for a tin, but you only use one scoop a meal, so it doesn't cost much more than real food.
Just a suggestion.
Kate
Lol well I'm glad you think they're sensible! I'm still here, just having a really difficult time right now and not really wanting to drag others down with me. It's a blip, I know that, but nonetheless, it's not easy being me at the moment.
So, what's new? Well I kicked the binging (kind of), which unleashed an anxiety issue I never knew I had. I'm now on meds for that, but as I was told (and didn't believe initially! Tbh), things did get worse, but I'm told they'll soon get better! In fact, it got so bad that just being confronted with a plate of food was enough to cause my anxiety to hit the roof. At that point, I knew it was time to see my GP for some help. So, my GP has told me I have an eating disorder (no big shock there as my therapist already told me that) and that basically the answer is meds and CBT...which I'm already having. My consultant has referred me to a clinical psychologist at the hospital but I'm told that since I'm not underweight, there's a 3 month wait. Hey ho...
Although it doesn't sound like the CBT is helping, it actually is and the above is really just part of the healing process. I'm so glad I didn't know how bad it was going to get though! I can't describe the terror of being confronted with a plate of food that you literally feel terrified to eat. It can only get better.
Thanks for asking how I'm doing x
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