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What can I do? 16year old daughter.

2

2bob1969

Newbie
Messages
1
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Hi all...

my daughter is 16 and she has a pump but for a reason only she can answer . She wont test and use the pump ?? Im thinking of just packing up work and following her all day to make sure she manages properly... mad I know but at wits end. If I could "weld" the newly developed artificial pancreas to her I would. I love her and its soul destroying and heartbreaking too... I only see her once a week as she lives with her mum . I know the artificial pancreas is in the trial stage but to be honest it cant come quick enough : (
Bob
 
Hi @2bob1969,

I feel for you as you cannot make her use the pump properly or test.


Some posters here will tell you that they rebelled when they were teenagers but got back on track eventually.

I will bump your post up to see if anyone can help.
 
2bob1969 said:
Hi all...

my daughter is 16 and she has a pump but for a reason only she can answer . She wont test and use the pump ?? Im thinking of just packing up work and following her all day to make sure she manages properly... mad I know but at wits end. If I could "weld" the newly developed artificial pancreas to her I would. I love her and its soul destroying and heartbreaking too... I only see her once a week as she lives with her mum . I know the artificial pancreas is in the trial stage but to be honest it cant come quick enough : (
Bob
Click to expand...
Hi Bob,
from what you are saying your daughter wont have her pump for long as her team will take it away from her on safety grounds. So she has two choices use it properly or lose it. :(
 
I really feel for you, I was one of those diabetics who in there teens didn't look after myself. Do you think the pump is to much of a tie?? I was put onto the pump in August and it is so much hard work I know personally I would not have been ready for it when I was 16. It must be so hard for parents and also for your daughter who just wants to probably feel like she is normal and fitting in with and doing what her friends are doing. She will get there and you just need to try and be as understanding as you can. My mum and dad were great and so supportive and they knew how difficult being a teenager and having diabetes was.
 
CarbsRok said:
Hi Bob,
from what you are saying your daughter wont have her pump for long as her team will take it away from her on safety grounds. So she has two choices use it properly or lose it. :(
Click to expand...
Hi ,I've been type 1 diabetic for 45 years and still don't feel old enough to die of some diabetic related problem (they have a habbit of taking their time) . I take it your daughter knows how to use the pump correctly. Tell your daughter you love and care for her, use the pump properly and she's not wrong if she doesn't get the BS readings she wants-just pump in the correct amount of insulin needed if required to correct and eat healthily.' You will get ups and downs, every body has bad days! I am on the waiting list for this pump and let me tell you - it is a GOD SEND!:)
 
Hi bob, do you know her reasons for not wanting to manage things properly? I think that would be a good starting point. It's often the reasons behind things that need addressing rather than the thing itself.

I stopped taking my insulin for 6 years, not because I didn't want to be diabetic but because I didn't want to be fat.

I'm not suggesting her reason is the same, but it would probably be helpful for both of you if you could find out why.
 
Bob, You sound like a great dad. I too, have a great mum and dad, unfortunately it didn't stop me rebelling once I was out of their sight.

I changed my ways after a horrible experience and I ended up in hospital. Fortunately I have no lasting diabetic complications but it scared the **** out of me. I think one of the problems with diabetes is that withholding your insulin doesn't necessarily cause you damage straight away(aside from feeling a little ******), so you think you can get away with it until its too late
Maybe you could print this thread out and show it to her, let her see others that have been in her position and have gone/are going through the same things
 
Shaggy1974 I agree. The 6 years I spent in a state of ketosis were terrible but somehow manageable. I lived with the idea that it would be ok/ wouldn't happen to me.

Once I started my insulin again I went through the worst year of my life, in a wheelchair on morphine and 58 tablets a day, incontinent, dizzy. The damage that affected me after was way worse.
 
I would get her back to the hospital team, she may need some help with the pump or counseling on her overall coping with diabetes
there are too many things to list that could have gone wrong, it may be as simple as the pump isn't making sense and her BG is all over the place and she's given up. some teens seem to have a pass/fail attitude to their meter readings and not just a number to help with insulin adjustment.

does she know about the anonymous diabetic care line she can ring up for a chat about anything?
http://www.diabetes.org.uk/Guide-to-diabetes/Teens/Help-and-support/We-can-help/Careline/

it is a worry, but at 16 you can't put her over your knee :) this may help with the tightrope you are walking
http://behavioraldiabetesinstitute.org/print-preview/BDITeenEtiquette.pdf
 
Speak to her and ask whether she actually wants the pump or injections etc.
are you on good enough terms to speak with her mother about your concerns as a united front would be best??

You cannot live your life in accordance to your daughters rebellion...so I would not advise giving up work...

I would speak to her diabetes team, but really to ask what assistance they may be able to offer her with accepting diabetes and living with it.
 
Hi Bob

Can you find out if there are any local groups for teens with diabetes in your area? Your daughter may recoil in horror at the idea of meeting other young diabetics but it may just help her see that everyone struggles with the monotony of coping with testing, calculating carbs, day to day management etc and she might actually enjoy chatting about issues with others who 'get it'.

I was a rebel for years and put my poor parents through hell, it was pre internet and I thought everyone else just managed to get great results and I was the one doing it all wrong. Eventually realising that everybody struggles sometimes was a light bulb moment for me and it was a real weight off my shoulders.
 
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