The problem with being fat is that people can see it. And judge it. From 50 paces.
And for some reason they often feel entitled to comment on it. Particularly when they are older. Older women, I have noticed make a snippy comment. Older men come over all caring and considerate - they obviously think they are helping and being diplomatic.
Since my hormones messed up in puberty, and I have carried excess weight since then, I've had quite a few of these 'well meaning' interventions over the years.
As a teenager, newly fat, highly self conscious and feeling like a total failure amongst all my slimmer, prettier friends, having a stranger approaching and telling me that I should get checked out for a life threatening disease, or lose weight... crushing, wouldn't you say?
If the family doctor telling me I should do things differently didn't work, then what possible impact was an interfering git that I had never seen before going to have? Except, of course, that the comments were deeply hurtful and made me reluctant to go anywhere that I might be seen, and criticised again. They also upset me enough that I comfort ate.
Because that is how it comes over. Criticism. Interference. Judgement. And if it is from a slim person - 10x worse.
In my 20s, it was people at work. People on holiday. I can remember one old man walking up to me on the street. I was alone, of course. That kind of bully would never do it when the victim has supporters around. Although I know that people did talk about it to my parents. Who were considerate enough to hide it, as best they could.
By my 30s I had wised up. And now, by my 40s, I am confident that anyone approaching me with that kind of 'well meaning' unsolicited nastiness would regret it.
A lot.
And it is nasty. You wouldn't approach a complete stranger with shaking hands, to tell them to get checked out for MS. You wouldn't tell an elderly stranger you had an 'absent moment' to get checked for Alzheimer's. Or someone who needed the handrail on stairs to get checked for motor neurone disease. That would be absurd, wouldn't it? Because no one would consider making such judgements about those ailments.
Yet people feel entitled to comment on fatties. And think they are helping.
In my experience, the most pompous, prostheletisers are those who want to talk politics, born again religious converts and born again dieters.
