- Messages
- 83
- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
- Treatment type
- Insulin
Hey all,
My name is Matthew, I'm 29 and from North Wales. I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 16 and bang in the middle of my exams. I never dealt with it. The care in Wales was horrible at the time and I was quickly taken to hospital, shot up with insulin and told I had type 1 diabetes. This was after my mum had noticed I was drinking a lot of fluids and was always thirsty, so she took me to the GP.
I couldn't believe it - I thought that only old people could have diabetes and that it was caused by being overweight. I was naive and embarrassed of my illness. I didn't tell anyone in school. My mother became more smothering and people started dictating what I could and couldn't eat. I went through this whole time in a sort of daze - I couldn't come to terms with having diabetes, and I don't think I ever have.
When I was 19 and moved away from home for University, I got severely depressed and attempted suicide multiple times - mainly because I felt worthless and I didn't want to live with diabetes any more. I was seeking help prior to this but was dismissed as being 'a little low'. After this I went into psychiatric care which I have been in for a while now. I see them every few months now and have been diagnosed with severe depression, seasonal affective disorder and social anxiety disorder.
I never really connected any of this with my diabetes until recently. But now I think of it, I have just a disgust and hatred towards myself for having diabetes. I check my bloods and take insulin but my sugars always run high. I have resigned myself to having my life cut short because of diabetes, and wonder if there is a point in living that long anyway. I really, really struggle with it and don't know anyone with type 1.
I have been referred to the DAPHNE course, about 2 months back and am still waiting. The diabetes education I had was very very vague and I received a lot of conflicting information when I first was diagnosed. So I'm hoping that I can change my life. I don't want to die, or lose limbs, or my sight. I know that I am going down those roads and it makes me want to cry and just punish myself.
I need the inspiration and motivation to turn my life around and it's going to be so, so hard. But I really hope I can do it. I hope that coming to these forums will be the start of the rest of my life.
My name is Matthew, I'm 29 and from North Wales. I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 16 and bang in the middle of my exams. I never dealt with it. The care in Wales was horrible at the time and I was quickly taken to hospital, shot up with insulin and told I had type 1 diabetes. This was after my mum had noticed I was drinking a lot of fluids and was always thirsty, so she took me to the GP.
I couldn't believe it - I thought that only old people could have diabetes and that it was caused by being overweight. I was naive and embarrassed of my illness. I didn't tell anyone in school. My mother became more smothering and people started dictating what I could and couldn't eat. I went through this whole time in a sort of daze - I couldn't come to terms with having diabetes, and I don't think I ever have.
When I was 19 and moved away from home for University, I got severely depressed and attempted suicide multiple times - mainly because I felt worthless and I didn't want to live with diabetes any more. I was seeking help prior to this but was dismissed as being 'a little low'. After this I went into psychiatric care which I have been in for a while now. I see them every few months now and have been diagnosed with severe depression, seasonal affective disorder and social anxiety disorder.
I never really connected any of this with my diabetes until recently. But now I think of it, I have just a disgust and hatred towards myself for having diabetes. I check my bloods and take insulin but my sugars always run high. I have resigned myself to having my life cut short because of diabetes, and wonder if there is a point in living that long anyway. I really, really struggle with it and don't know anyone with type 1.
I have been referred to the DAPHNE course, about 2 months back and am still waiting. The diabetes education I had was very very vague and I received a lot of conflicting information when I first was diagnosed. So I'm hoping that I can change my life. I don't want to die, or lose limbs, or my sight. I know that I am going down those roads and it makes me want to cry and just punish myself.
I need the inspiration and motivation to turn my life around and it's going to be so, so hard. But I really hope I can do it. I hope that coming to these forums will be the start of the rest of my life.