My Dad died, I'm comfort eating

[BeadieJay]

My Dad passed away on 12th October, 3 days before his 91st birthday. He fell at home, cracked 7 ribs and developed pneumonia. We knew he was going to die, but I thought I had time to get to see him. I'm in Oxfordshire. He was in Essex. I got there about an hour after he passed away. I'm so angry with myself for not travelling down the day before he died, when I knew he was so poorly, but none of my family thought he would go so quickly.

Since then I've been comfort eating. I had been doing so well, had lost weight, eating low carb, getting my bsl under control. I haven't tested my bsl for the past 2 weeks, though I do plan to start again tomorrow. When I was away from home I didn't think about low carb, or about my diabetes, partly because it was just too difficult in the circumstances, and also because it was just easier to eat whatever was available, which was mostly take aways.

I got back home last Thursday, after the funeral, and knew that I would have to be really strict with myself to get back to my healthy eating regime, but it's been really, really hard. I understand now the meaning of the phrase "comfort eating" because that's exactly what I'm doing. I don't want to do it, but it is giving me short-term comfort. I know I'm still grieving, and there are some things I'm really angry and upset about concerning my Dad's death, but I also know I need to think of my own health.

It's just so difficult.

I'm not expecting anyone to provide a magical way of making everything better......I just need to share this.

Thanks for listening.

 

[chalup]

We are always here to listen. Sending you a big hug.

 

[nessa1970]

My heart goes out too you. And at times life throws curve balls and a bit of comfort eating short term if it helps for a moment I'd say don't stress about it too much. Try jump on to your health when you have the energy. Look after yourself an take it one day at a time. X

 

[Robinredbreast]

Hi, so sorry to hear your news, it's so hard when you lose someone you care so much for. My dad is 93 and is now in a care home,
Sending you a big hug, I am sure your beloved dad will be looking down on you with so much love, take care X

 

[mist]

Sorry for your loss. Try not to be too hard on yourself, this is a difficult time and your entitled to a little comfort eating. Give yourself time.

 

[Brunneria]

I am sorry you lost your Dad.

Your feelings are perfectly natural under the circumstances, and you are not alone in feeling and acting this way. Grief like this shakes us to our foundations.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. Just take it a step at a time. Hug.

 

[Snapsy]

Sending love, @BeadieJay. Grant yourself permission for everything being different right now. You'll get back on track, but for now just take each day at a time and don't beat yourself up about anything. You need your strength.

There are so many people here to offer support and a friendly ear.

So, so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

 

[Clivethedrive]

Remember the good times and listen to his good advice , sending (((( Hugs))))

 

[Enclave]

I am so sorry for your loss .... No words I can say will make things better xxxx
You will start to take control of your eating once the raw pain of your grief starts to heal. Make your dad proud of you getting back on track sooner rather than later x

 

[ally1]

So sorry for your loss.
You are grieving
We are here for you

 

[Whitelinen64]

So so sorry for your loss x I know how it feels x hugs x

 

[Tabbyjoolz]

I'm so sorry you lost your dad and I understand completely the need to comfort eat in such sad circumstances.

Please be assured that we're all thinking of you. There will be good days and bad days. Do the best you can on the good days. And please don't beat yourself up.

Big hugs xxx

 

[azure]

@BeadieJay Sorry for your loss. It's perfectly understandable why you're comforting eating. Sometimes our minds can only take so much, and we have to let up in other areas to deal with the most major thing.

Be kind to yourself and take tiny steps back towards your eating regime. Don't pressure yourself when you're still dealing with so much. X

 

[Freema]

Oh so sorry for your loss just like the otters I Think you must NOT be to hard on yourself ....

 

[BeadieJay]

Thank you all SO much for your kind words. You've no idea how comforting I find them. I was beginning to beat myself up over going back to my old eating habits, but you've all confirmed that it's normal, and that helps. I'm making slow improvements, and trying really hard not to be angry at myself.

Thank you for letting me share here xx

 

[ellagy]

Thank you all SO much for your kind words. You've no idea how comforting I find them. I was beginning to beat myself up over going back to my old eating habits, but you've all confirmed that it's normal, and that helps. I'm making slow improvements, and trying really hard not to be angry at myself.

Thank you for letting me share here xx

@BeadieJay Sorry to read of your dad. With much love and many hugs.

 

[noblehead]

Condolences to you & yours @BeadieJay

 

[Energize]

Oh, bless you. Such a difficult time for you. I'm so sorry about your loss. I'm still missing both my Mum and Dad, who both died only a few years ago (not at the same time, though, I'm pleased to say) Emotions just take over, eh, some days/times more than others. No wonder you're comfort eating. Do you have brothers or sisters who you can relate to and share the lost of your Dad? This is where you know who your good friends are. Seek them oiut and tell them how you are feeling. Maybe try to distract your thoughts while in their company. I always feel better when I'm with my (good) friends - they seem to understand when I feel like a hug or distraction

Things will get better and you WILL get back on track. As others have said, take one day at a time. It's all still very fresh just now so emotions will be very raw. Feel you do have reason to pamper yourself, including other non-food ways. It sounds like you need it. Also, please don't feel angry with yourself. You did what you felt was necessary at the time, based on the information you were given. You've done nothing to be rebuking yourself for.

Take care

 

[stewpot65]

My Dad passed away on 12th October, 3 days before his 91st birthday. He fell at home, cracked 7 ribs and developed pneumonia. We knew he was going to die, but I thought I had time to get to see him. I'm in Oxfordshire. He was in Essex. I got there about an hour after he passed away. I'm so angry with myself for not travelling down the day before he died, when I knew he was so poorly, but none of my family thought he would go so quickly.

Since then I've been comfort eating. I had been doing so well, had lost weight, eating low carb, getting my bsl under control. I haven't tested my bsl for the past 2 weeks, though I do plan to start again tomorrow. When I was away from home I didn't think about low carb, or about my diabetes, partly because it was just too difficult in the circumstances, and also because it was just easier to eat whatever was available, which was mostly take aways.

I got back home last Thursday, after the funeral, and knew that I would have to be really strict with myself to get back to my healthy eating regime, but it's been really, really hard. I understand now the meaning of the phrase "comfort eating" because that's exactly what I'm doing. I don't want to do it, but it is giving me short-term comfort. I know I'm still grieving, and there are some things I'm really angry and upset about concerning my Dad's death, but I also know I need to think of my own health.

It's just so difficult.

I'm not expecting anyone to provide a magical way of making everything better......I just need to share this.

Thanks for listening.

We here on this great forum are like one big family keep sharing you are not alone.

 

[Pipp]

I wasn't with my Dad when he died. Despite having cared for him for many years. It was hard to think that a carer at his care home had held is hand as he went. It hurts like hell. It should have been me comforting him. Only later as the pain of his loss eased a little, could I rationalise it. Sometimes fathers of the age of your dad and mine, are very protective of their daughters. I know my dad hated to show sadness to his girls, or to see us upset. I think sometimes they choose to slip away without us to spare us the grief of the parting.

I hope the pain and sadness of your loss soon lessens and you can remember him in happier times, @BeadieJay . One thing I remember my mum telling me as she was dying is that I should never feel guilt about anything in our relationship. That I should laugh, sing, enjoy life. I pass that on to my kids because parents want their children to have joy in their lives. Not guilt, though there will always be some sadness. Their memory lives on, and I smile about thingd they said and did.