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GrandMa O'Leary started putting condoms on both her ears....Asked why, she replied:"Oi don't want to catch dem hearin' aids!":)

1) "You have to reboot your computer"....."I really don't want to kick it" 2) "My computer just crashed"......."What's it doing at the moment?"....."Dunno, just lying there in the driveway in a million pieces after i threw it out the window!":)

Do you remember Commodore 64??? Using a cassette disc as a memory? Long before floppy discs!!!! I'm talking Prehistoric Era!!!!!:)

Down in Australia, we have 'Two Dollar Shops'..One way to upset a shop assistant is to ask how much an item is........All items are.....$2.00....hence the name!;)

I always thought Beverley D'Angelo was Hot, hot, hot in the National Lampoon series...Saw her in a rerun of one of those U.S. cop shows playing a lawyer or a judge (or something).........My goodness, age is not her friend....Hardly recognized her!...No more fantasies about Bev:(

She's way too young to understand....It's a tradition for us to watch versions of this story around this time each year so I can introduce polio and / or cystic fibrosis as the possible illness TT had. Still too complicated at the moment for her....And no I did not tell her Tiny Tim was a heroin...

Thanks for that, Rrb.....I told her he had AIDS.....Thankfully she's too young to know what that is or how people get it... imagine Tiny Tim as a heroin addict or being sexually promiscuous?!o_O

I love most versions of "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens....Always get teary eyed when Scrooge becomes good and becomes kind, and generous etc. By the way, my young daughter asked me what Tiny Tim was dying from? Any suggestions?o_O

At the local old peoples home, the nursing staff give the elderly men Viagra for their evening medication.......So they don't roll off the bed!!!:D

A Scotsman went to visit relatives in North America. As they were driving through the forest, a big animal ran in front of the car just missing them."What da faahk was dat?" "It's a moose" "Shett if dats yorr moose Ahh hett ta see yer Katt!!!!"

My good wife has hinted that she wants a present that goes from zero to 100 in four seconds.....I can't afford a sports car so I got her a set of bathroom scales instead! (Somehow methinks this is the last Christmas I'll be experiencing:()

Hi sjhume, Glad to talk to a fellow Simpsons fan! Down here in Australia, people like us are referred to as "Insulin assisted" Diabetics as opposed to "Insulin dependent" (T1) Diabetics....When oral meds doesn't or stops working docs prescribe a combination of tablets and/or injection regime...

Hi everyone, I have read an article from the British Dietetic Association ranking the Paleo and I quit sugar diets as the second and third worst 'celebrity diets' only only beaten by a diet requiring people to drink their own p*ss.... As much as I agree with the worst (only Bear Grylls would...

I remember wagonwheels as a kid in the 70's. Yes they were a lot bigger then.......Or was it my mouth and tummy a lot smaller then:)