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6 months in

C-Mack

Well-Known Member
Messages
52
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Well it has been 6 months since I was diagnosed... A1C went from 13.6% to 6.2% with very few hypos (I am in Canada so we use the old system still). My diabetic educator is thrilled and very happy with my control.

I read everything I could when first diagnosed and still read. From Bernstein I took the law of small numbers but am not as hard core as he is with low carbs and try to "think like a pancreas".

Over all it is going ok but I find I am angry and frustrated. The A1C is a nice accomplishment and I feel good when I hear it but then realize that it isn't like once you hit the target that that is it... That it all has to keep going. I went to see a therapist and told her I get frustrated at being angry because most say it could be worse, you could have had cancer but this can be managed. I feel guilty for being angry. She shared her story about cancer in which she had a bone marrow transplant and said while it was horrible that now, other than regular. He is she is fine... That while cancer can be horrible it isn't something that you need to manage 24/7 to live for the rest of your life. That I should allow myself to be angry and that it is ok to feel it and process it.

My question for everyone is how did you process your anger? What do you do when it comes back?

I thought I had done the anger phase when I went through dealing with the questions and comments from friends and family saying things like: I couldn't give myself needles, to awe those are so small I don't understand your fear of them, to why do you inject so many times, to the best one... Are you off the insulin yet? Evidently that was just my anger at others not at diabetes and my pancreas.
 
I don't get angry that often now, but it has been almost 37 years. I used to cry but now fight back the tears. I think things through, deciding my options - increase this, decrease that, stop doing one thing, do more of another, what I should have said to this person, what I'll definitely say to the next one.

It does get easier - the longer you have diabetes the more in control you will feel. Six months isn't that long - I'd say it took me two years to stop resenting not being able to eat what I could before but with MDI and carb counting it's a lot better these days.

You are doing really well. In time you'll find you don't get so angry at the so many things that can disrupt our diabetic lives. If you do get angry . . . have you found our Scream thread? Sometimes just writing it down makes you feel a lot better!
 
What happens is that you get good at it. You survive a few hypos and hypers and then you stop worrying about it all the time. You even forget about it for hours, or it becomes second-nature to manage it. Then you don't feel angry any more. People express their frustration here (look for "rant" - there are many:(). But honestly, I suppose it depends on personality a lot. There are lots of things that make me mad but diabetes isn't one of them anymore, and neither are all the dumb things people say about it (which seems to bug some people). I find lots of things about it quite funny - especially dumb things other people say, in fact. But I was mad when I was young. So I am proof you get over the anger.

My sister was mad when she got it aged 33. She said she really hit the "Why me?" pedal hard. But then she eventually thought, "And why NOT me?" And she manages it really well too.
 
In my own experience I recall feeling very angry...certainly for the first year or so after diagnosis...but once I had an established routine and started achieving some good results it just disappeared...almost without my noticing. I think a lot of it was because I was still flailing around and getting erratic results...remember that when your blood sugars are swinging between high and low that this will also cause mood swings.

Considering you're only 6 months in...you've already achieved excellent results...perhaps you could focus on this when you feel angry...yes you've been dealt a rubbish hand...but you're dealing with it...amazingly well going on your HbA1c...use this to your advantage and give yourself a well earned pat on the back.

As for the stupid things that other people say...trust me...you'll get used to it. If you think back a few months to before you were diagnosed you probably didn't know any better and why would you need to? Likewise with the people that make these daft comments...it's a lack of knowledge. Instead of letting these comments get you down...use them as an opportunity to educate people...it might spare the feelings of another newly diagnosed diabetic further on down the line.
 
Thanks all... It is nice to be able to vent and have others understand. The reassurance it is normal is good also.
 
My question for everyone is how did you process your anger? What do you do when it comes back?

I took my diabetic anger out on my bike or running shoes, then I'm in such a fatigued state and don't have the energy for anger. I find over time the anger subsides. Keep up the good work.
 
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