WeeWillie
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 2,556
- Location
- UK
- Type of diabetes
- Treatment type
- Insulin
- Dislikes
- Dictators who positively go out of their way to force misery, tears and fears, upon their countryman's lives.
Politicians who, in dealing with dictators, have a wishbone where a backbone should be.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted
to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed,
so I pushed him in front of a train.
He was chuffed to bits.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking
about with a coffin.
3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.
I thought to myself, they've lost the plot.
I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady
asked if I could check her balance,
so I pushed her over.
A spokesman for the channel said....
"A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the
humour, but we know for a fact that the people in Abu Dhabi Do."
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday,
so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!
To heck with that, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.
I start a new job in Seoul next week.
I thought it was a good Korea move.
I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up.
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.
What did the footballer say when he accidentally
burped during a game?
"Sorry, it was a freak hic."
What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
Why did the bees go on strike?
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night
and stole a hundred pints of blood.
Police are still hunting for the clots.
What do you call a horse that plays the violin
in a musical?
Fiddler on the hoof.
Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
Bonnie and Clydesdale.
What did the woman say to the undertaker when
he started hitting his broken down funeral car?
Stop beating a dead hearse.
Doctor, Doctor I've got rotten teeth, bad breath
and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease.
to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed,
so I pushed him in front of a train.
He was chuffed to bits.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking
about with a coffin.
3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.
I thought to myself, they've lost the plot.
I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady
asked if I could check her balance,
so I pushed her over.
A spokesman for the channel said....
"A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the
humour, but we know for a fact that the people in Abu Dhabi Do."
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday,
so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!
To heck with that, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.
I start a new job in Seoul next week.
I thought it was a good Korea move.
I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up.
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.
What did the footballer say when he accidentally
burped during a game?
"Sorry, it was a freak hic."
What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
Why did the bees go on strike?
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night
and stole a hundred pints of blood.
Police are still hunting for the clots.
What do you call a horse that plays the violin
in a musical?
Fiddler on the hoof.
Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
Bonnie and Clydesdale.
What did the woman say to the undertaker when
he started hitting his broken down funeral car?
Stop beating a dead hearse.
Doctor, Doctor I've got rotten teeth, bad breath
and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease.
