A new element

Pasha

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Add this to your scientific knowledge:-




The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 to 6 years.

It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentiums mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
 

Arab Horse

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Knew loads of these when I was a biochemist, excellent.
 

Robbity

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Governmentium isodopes are currently being used in the ongoing Brexit experiment, aimed at separating a small unstable Uk particle from its large Eu nucleus. The isodopes accelerate round and round in large circles until they gain enough momentum to whizz off at a tangent to make the final split. There are fears in some quarters that the resulting ismall UK particle may disappear into a negative energy Black Hole.
 
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D

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There are fears in some quarters that the resulting ismall UK particle may disappear into a negative energy Black Hole.
That is reminiscent of the now ill fated CÖck Oozlum bird which flew around in ever decreasing circles then disappeared up it's back passage in a puff of blue smoke.