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A parent with a teenager in denial.

@Resurgam makes an excellent point @James321 - an insulin dependent diabetic is required by law to test 15 minutes before driving, and be above 5, and then every two hours whilst driving. Is her instructor aware of your daughter's T1D? If not, it is imperative that they be told - I don't know what the legal position regarding their responsibility would be, but I am guessing that there would be consequences. Although there is no 'legal maximum' to drive, as I think was discussed on another thread, your cognitive fuction is impaired when you are in double figures. Obviously it is a discussion you need to have, but I know if I was a driving instructor, I would not want someone who wasn't testing in my car - it's their safety, and also their livelihood.
 

Sorry I hadn't message before, I'm in the tec world very old. I didn't even realise I had other messages.
She has lost all confidence with her boyfriend leaving her and yes although not a parents first choice he was my daughters. I will try to suggest the book and continue to believe in herself. She failed her exams at school what with being diagnosed at fifteen and missing plenty of schooling. I will continue to support her, and love her dearly. Mood swings, ups and downs, who cares, she's my daughter, and thick and thin and a few kind people helping dad though the diabetes site, well we can't fail.
Yes a few quiet tears away from the world but we will get there.
Thanks for your time,
Old bloke, with sausage fingers.
Jim.
 

Hi, yep it's me, the person you very kindly sent your well worded in your words essay. Moving, up lifting, and kind and thoughtful.
Your boyfriend sounds great, and I have had five or six different contacts, what a fantastic bunch of people you are.
I get a great feel of humbleness and contentment by all the kind words.
Being a parent is an impossible privilege, and a life changing experience.
Having a child nearly an adult, who wants a cuddle but to grown up to except one in a stand off situation when she gets emotional is awkward but teenage life.
I loved your boyfriends cup of tea release valve, and I'm sorry to hear you struggled yourself so much with your dietary needs.
I think we are coping with the diabetes and this morning and we had a low reading of 3.8 this morning, Out came the one minute beans on toast topped with cheese and a glass of water,
One of my fastest yet.
Life can seem very tough at times, and there's no rhyme nor reason to what happens.
It's a very unpleasant journey for so many people, young and old, big or small,
A few kind and reassuring words from other people touched by or living with diabetes is a massive help.
Thank you so much for taking time to share your thoughts with me, it's been uplifting and reassuring.
Take care of yourself, you will also have people who care for you, and maybe also not no how to approach this subject.
Now there's two essays.
Jim.
 

Yes, Ive offered to buy her a vw polo if and when she passes her test. You are of course right about her safety and everyone else's on the road, and as the weeks go by towards her test I'm hoping she comes to terms with her responsibilities not just for herself but all around.
Thanks for the advice and taking the time to message.
Jim.
 
tim2000s said:
If she does twitter, then the hashtag #gbdoc is worth a look. There are a fair few young T1 women of a similar age who are part of the group and very open. They would be very supportive.
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Hi Tim, thanks for the info, I will pass this through to my daughter it's all a question of timing.
Thanks for sparing your time, it's very kind.
Jim
 
Both our next door neighbours are type 1 - we had to have our front wall rebuilt as they came home one night and the driver passed out just as they approached the houses - the car was a write off, but luckily neither person was seriously injured. More recently we had the paramedics at the house, as he was away, had phoned home and realised that she was going hypo. Luckily another neighbour was able to persuade her to open the door - she was unwilling to let strangers into the house and did not realise she needed help. We do worry about them.
 

Hi Jim. Wow this is tough to read, for you it must be very hard to cope with day to day. It is tough for me because I WAS that teenage kid. I was diagnosed aged 8. I reckon between age 13/14 and 19 I was a ridiculously bad T1D. For that I probably paid the penalty in 2011 with severe eye problems (now stable). I was the head strong kid in denial. I'm sure others were too.

I had nurses, docs, consultants and parents try to put the fear of God into me and it didn't work. I wish now that they'd dragged me around a few wards to see the consequences and complications and enforced me seeing a few nasty things. Followed by some support in how to cope with T1D things may have been better for me. Sadly in the 1980s that wasn't much of an option. I'm sure that today the newly diagnosed get proper support and even counselling. Once she accepts that this isn't going to go away she should begin to work with diabetes rather than fight against it.

I'm not trying to scaremonger you but without good control she is very likely to run into problems later on in life. You probably already know that anyway. Could an ultra soft approach work? Perhaps if she sees how worried/upset you are it might strike a chord with her and you can work on improvements. She will get head straight sooner or later, she's still relatively newly diagnosed so it might just take persistence.
 
I am also 17, and have been diagnosed just over 7 months. In some aspects i understand her. I hate being asked and annoyed by my parents all the time, I sometimes like to be left alone in private to do it by myself. I have been in a rough patch for the start of the year, where i have been ill and other things, and am just coming out of it and regaining control properly. I was really ill through my exams hence why I didn't get the best results that i could of, and was diagnosed halfway through the summer holidays.
 
does the driving instructor know your daughter is type 1 diabetic? and also her insurance company? It is a legal requirement to tell the DVLA https://insidedvla.blog.gov.uk/2016/11/14/driving-with-diabetes-the-facts/

I may be sounding hard and be unpopular for this, but if she doesnt tell them, I believe that you have a responsibility to tell them, she may be a hazard to herself and other drivers. And invalidating her car insurance if they have not been told.

https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/article...r-other-medications-which-carry-risk-inducing
 
Hi @James321 welcome to the forum, I have to admit you sound like an amazing dad, so well done for all that you do.

I would second the advice about her using the freestyle Libre, if you can afford to, it's an incredibly useful piece of kit and may open her eyes to become more of an 'expert' in managing her condition. It does sound she's in denial and to be fair I think many type 1's experience this, it's an over whelming, consuming condition, if you let it be this way. Sadly the NHS doesnt seem to be very well equipped in psychologically supporting those who are newly diagnosed or who are struggling, in some respects that's why support forums are so important as its somewhere safe to speak to others so if she could open up and talk to others that would be help her a lot. See if she would consider joining up ?
 
leslie10152 said:
Some of these 'perfect people' are diabetic too!
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Diabetes, in a rather peculiar manner - is a badge of honor. I have very rarely seen a diabetic end their life because if the condition. We become Monsters and Conquerers! We are monsters when the BGL's wander off the track, yet we conquer the obstacles thrown in our path. We see the problems of others, and respond, regardless of our own miseries. We band together and form a bond like no other. Let the world know we are here. Be proud, know you are someone's hero.
 
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