A salutory tale

Jo_the_boat · Oct 23, 2018

My brother-in-law died yesterday.
He was T1 who really didn't look after himself. His team of carers visited variously 6 times a day, in addition to my wife and, less often, me.
Both his legs were amputated 8 or 10 years ago since when he has been predominantly bed-bound.
He ate all the wrong things but reckoned tasty things were one of his few enjoyments.
His eyes were shot at and he had ballooned to about 18 stone.
He also had medically controlled mental health issues.

There's more to his story and yes, it's a sorry tale, BUT I want to say congratulations to everyone who is making such a huge effort to look after themselves, particularly T1s who in my mind, have a frightening, complicated time of it.
I also want to praise the support system so many people in this organisation offer.

I'm sending you all my encouragement because the alternative that I have just witnessed is not great.
xx

SueJB · Oct 23, 2018

Jo_the_boat said:
My brother-in-law died yesterday.
He was T1 who really didn't look after himself. His team of carers visited variously 6 times a day, in addition to my wife and, less often, me.
Both his legs were amputated 8 or 10 years ago since when he has been predominantly bed-bound.
He ate all the wrong things but reckoned tasty things were one of his few enjoyments.
His eyes were shot at and he had ballooned to about 18 stone.
He also had medically controlled mental health issues.

There's more to his story and yes, it's a sorry tale, BUT I want to say congratulations to everyone who is making such a huge effort to look after themselves, particularly T1s who in my mind, have a frightening, complicated time of it.
I also want to praise the support system so many people in this organisation offer.

I'm sending you all my encouragement because the alternative that I have just witnessed is not great.
xx

Thank you for your true kindness and generosity of spirit at such a sad time.

DavidGrahamJones · Oct 23, 2018

Jo_the_boat said:
My brother-in-law died yesterday.

Sorry to hear that, my thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of his family.

Your sad tale could very easily be my father. Always a very thin man but gained weight after type II diagnosis. Very lucky to have only lost a toe, it could so easily have been more, but now left with poor circulation in the other leg because he refused to have a stent put in, while they put a stent in the leg to improve recovery after toe amputation.
His eye sight is totally shot and I suspect poor BG control is behind that problem which has been going on for years. His insistence that Muesli with honey is a healthy breakfast and that the supply of three huge bars of Cadbury's Fruit and Nut in the fridge, kept topped up by someone, really is in case of having a hypo, is frustrating to say the least. How he's got to 91 is a miracle.

mike@work · Oct 23, 2018

Thank you, for those kind words, in a time when you yourself is the the one worth all support...

Brunneria · Oct 23, 2018

Jo_the_boat said:
My brother-in-law died yesterday.
He was T1 who really didn't look after himself. His team of carers visited variously 6 times a day, in addition to my wife and, less often, me.
Both his legs were amputated 8 or 10 years ago since when he has been predominantly bed-bound.
He ate all the wrong things but reckoned tasty things were one of his few enjoyments.
His eyes were shot at and he had ballooned to about 18 stone.
He also had medically controlled mental health issues.

There's more to his story and yes, it's a sorry tale, BUT I want to say congratulations to everyone who is making such a huge effort to look after themselves, particularly T1s who in my mind, have a frightening, complicated time of it.
I also want to praise the support system so many people in this organisation offer.

I'm sending you all my encouragement because the alternative that I have just witnessed is not great.
xx

I am very sorry, and you and your family have my deepest condolences.

This is a dreadful demanding condition, but the consequences of neglecting or mismanaging it are worse.

Alison54321 · Oct 23, 2018

Hello @Jo_the_boat very sorry to hear of the sad death of your brother-in-law.

Poorly controlled diabetes can cause such damage, and it is very hard to manage it for as many years as people have to.

I hope you'll forgive me for making a slightly political point here, but as new technology appears that helps people manage their blood sugars better, sad cases like this are a useful reminder that the biggest cost of diabetes is complications, not the cost of medication, or the devices, that reduce those complications.

Those complications have a devastating effect on people's health. mental well being, and quality of life.

I wish you success in looking after your own diabetes.

Tony337 · Oct 23, 2018

Jo_the_boat said:
My brother-in-law died yesterday.
He was T1 who really didn't look after himself. His team of carers visited variously 6 times a day, in addition to my wife and, less often, me.
Both his legs were amputated 8 or 10 years ago since when he has been predominantly bed-bound.
He ate all the wrong things but reckoned tasty things were one of his few enjoyments.
His eyes were shot at and he had ballooned to about 18 stone.
He also had medically controlled mental health issues.

There's more to his story and yes, it's a sorry tale, BUT I want to say congratulations to everyone who is making such a huge effort to look after themselves, particularly T1s who in my mind, have a frightening, complicated time of it.
I also want to praise the support system so many people in this organisation offer.

I'm sending you all my encouragement because the alternative that I have just witnessed is not great.
xx

I am so desperately sorry for your loss but congratulate you for your bravery in posting your kind words.

Good luck Sir

Tony

Juicyj · Oct 23, 2018

Sorry to hear your news @Jo_the_boat

It's the wider impact of this on those around you which seems so poignant to me and that's what keeps me on track, as I never want to be a burden to anyone with my condition.

kitedoc · Oct 23, 2018

Hi @Jo_the_boat,
Condolences for such a loss. We can know what is best or better for us but not always take those roads.
Your sentiment is gratefully and gladly accepted with thanks from the Southern Hemisphere and that strange place called Australia (Oz for short). Beauty bottler mate !!

Rachox · Oct 23, 2018

Such sad news, condolences to you all x

PenguinMum · Oct 23, 2018

Jo I am very sorry for your loss, it must so upsetting for your wife. It is Indeed what can happen to any diabetic without the knowledge, conviction and a lot of resolve to live differently. It is never easy but none of what you wrote is worth risking.
I too salute the forum members who are just making such a difference to me in my journey.

Robinredbreast · Oct 23, 2018

Such a sad and tragic post to read, my heart goes out to the family and I hope in time the pain will ease with happier memories of your BIL, RIP.
Take care

JohnEGreen · Oct 23, 2018

@Jo_the_boat So sorry for your and your families loss.

zand · Oct 23, 2018

Thanks for sharing at this sad time. For me your story highlights the extra problems people with mental health issues have. It's hard to focus on your physical well being as well as your mental well being.

DCUKMod · Oct 23, 2018

@Jo_the_boat - I'm so sorry to hear your news. Any loss is a body blow, but one where given time again things could have been different must cut particularly keen. Your wife must be bereft.

Fairygodmother · Oct 23, 2018

Jo_the_boat said:
My brother-in-law died yesterday.
He was T1 who really didn't look after himself. His team of carers visited variously 6 times a day, in addition to my wife and, less often, me.
Both his legs were amputated 8 or 10 years ago since when he has been predominantly bed-bound.
He ate all the wrong things but reckoned tasty things were one of his few enjoyments.
His eyes were shot at and he had ballooned to about 18 stone.
He also had medically controlled mental health issues.

There's more to his story and yes, it's a sorry tale, BUT I want to say congratulations to everyone who is making such a huge effort to look after themselves, particularly T1s who in my mind, have a frightening, complicated time of it.
I also want to praise the support system so many people in this organisation offer.

I'm sending you all my encouragement because the alternative that I have just witnessed is not great.
xx

This is very sad Jo, hugs to your family, your wife and all of you who are laffected by the loss.
Thank you for too, for supporting and understanding the complicated lives that we T1s have in trying to stay healthy

therower · Oct 23, 2018

@Jo_the_boat . So sorry to hear of your loss. Sympathy for you and your family.

ickihun · Oct 23, 2018

Thank you for you post @Jo_the_boat. In a time of such sadness.

It saddens me when patients are given the wrong encouragement to manage their disease. It won't be all down to his unsettled mind. Maybe if he was newly diagnosed today most could be prevented, maybe.
I'd put it down to him being born too soon. However hopefully his suffering will be remembered so medics know how easily it can go wrong. It's not a perfect world.
Will it ever be?

Keep up your good work and please look after yourself and Mrs @Jo_the_boat. I remember how my perspective of life altered in grief.
Keep on the right path, you will do good mate.

Lynne C J · Oct 23, 2018

Jo_the_boat said:
My brother-in-law died yesterday.
He was T1 who really didn't look after himself. His team of carers visited variously 6 times a day, in addition to my wife and, less often, me.
Both his legs were amputated 8 or 10 years ago since when he has been predominantly bed-bound.
He ate all the wrong things but reckoned tasty things were one of his few enjoyments.
His eyes were shot at and he had ballooned to about 18 stone.
He also had medically controlled mental health issues.

There's more to his story and yes, it's a sorry tale, BUT I want to say congratulations to everyone who is making such a huge effort to look after themselves, particularly T1s who in my mind, have a frightening, complicated time of it.
I also want to praise the support system so many people in this organisation offer.

I'm sending you all my encouragement because the alternative that I have just witnessed is not great.
xx

Thanks very much for sharing that salutary tale, it's amazing how some people feel that eating the won't things is the only way to make life worth living. Most of us know that is complete tosh and enjoy our lives, injections and by testing is just part of it. Sorry for your loss but I imagine it wasn't a surprise

A salutory tale

Jo_the_boat

Well-Known Member

SueJB

Well-Known Member

DavidGrahamJones

Well-Known Member

mike@work

Well-Known Member

Brunneria

Guru

Alison54321

Well-Known Member

Tony337

Well-Known Member

Juicyj

Expert

kitedoc

Well-Known Member

Rachox

Oracle

PenguinMum

Expert

Robinredbreast

Oracle

JohnEGreen

Master

zand

Master

DCUKMod

Master

Fairygodmother

Well-Known Member

therower

Well-Known Member

ickihun

Master

Lynne C J

Well-Known Member

A salutory tale

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Guru

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Expert

Well-Known Member

Oracle

Expert

Oracle

Master

Master

Master

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Master

Well-Known Member

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency