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Am I being a miserable old git?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by jay hay-char, May 23, 2015.

  1. jay hay-char

    jay hay-char Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I've never been a great fan of my birthday. When I was kid, I was away at boarding school every year (which I hated) from age 7 onwards and it was a day when I missed my family even more than normal. As an adult, with only a small family, it's never been an occasion for massive celebration but I've always agreed to do something like go out for lunch, just to satisfy everyone else's conviction that we should do something to ""celebrate" it. I've always regarded this as more of a burden than a pleasure.

    This year, I have dug my heels in and said that we're not doing anything for my birthday. It will be my son's 18th, three days later, and his grandparents will be coming over for lunch, also our daughter will be coming home from Uni for a couple of days, to take him out on his first ever legal Bar Crawling evening :). My view is that this is sufficient celebration, without our doing anything on my birthday.

    I wouldn't say that Mrs Hay-Char is upset about this, but she's definitely a bit put out and I suspect she thinks I'm turning into a Grumpy Old Man.

    What do people think? Am I right to say that it's my birthday and I should be allowed to do (or not do) as I please, or should I indulge everybody else and agree to do something, even though I don't want to do it myself?

    Serious question.
     
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  2. DeejayR

    DeejayR Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    Depends how old you are. People attach importance to decades -- 30, 40, 50 etc, plus the juvenile ones of 18 & 21 relating to whatever it is you're allowed to do at those ages. I forget.
    I celebrated my 60th birthday by overturning a small dumper truck I was driving, so I regarded that as sufficient celebration.
    I can't remember what I did on my 70th, and you may draw your own conclusions (either I had a good time or dementia had already set in)
    Your plan for your birthday is very reasonable, especially if it's not a decade event. You are allowing other people in to your home (10 points) and not drawing attention to your day (10 points), thus putting the spotlight rightly on the young man. Your daughter is seeing to his rite of passage with appropriate alcohol, so he is saved beer-fuelled reminiscences of his dad's miss-spent youth (20 points).
    I advise you not to make light of wedding anniversaries, however. I recently tried to pass unnoticed (almost) through our silver wedding and Mrs DeeJay now has ammunition for another 25 years of accusations.
     
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  3. Lesleywo

    Lesleywo LADA · Well-Known Member

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    It's your birthday so you should be able to do what YOU want. They can do what THEY want on THEIR birthdays ;)
     
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  4. zand

    zand Type 2 · Expert

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    Well if you are being miserable, then I am too. I feel exactly the same as you. In any case I am special all year round, not just on my birthday.:)
     
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  5. Lamont D

    Lamont D Reactive hypoglycemia · Master

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    Yes, you are!


    ;)
    :angelic::confused::meh::rolleyes:
     
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  6. noblehead

    noblehead Type 1 · Guru
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    No your not miserable, actually I share your sentiments and enjoy celebrating other people's birthdays than my own.
     
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  7. jay hay-char

    jay hay-char Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    :p :D :D :p
     
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  8. Lamont D

    Lamont D Reactive hypoglycemia · Master

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    Enjoy it mate, both of them!:)
     
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  9. jay hay-char

    jay hay-char Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I may be miserable, but I'm not insane! :D
     
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  10. Russ

    Russ Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I think birthday celebrations are related to ego and high/low self esteem. Mine is on a 'special' day when it's best for others to be doing something else rather than celebrating your birthday. I am happy to celebrate others' birthdays but keep quiet about mine. Perhaps my ego isn't very much intact and my self esteem is questionable. It's nice that a close someone remembers you, but such people are getting fewer and that's fine. Sadly, evidence suggests that we are more interested in ourselves than others and that's OK with me. It's how things are. I could make a lot of noise and insist on a party, but what value would there be in that?
     
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  11. Enclave

    Enclave Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member
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    Yes you are a grumpy old git ... NOT ! :)

    I sadly ;) have big a birthday party every year .. We have friends over ..jelly and ice cream ..party games ..presents and goody bags for my party guests .. It's a very fun bonkers party.

    The wife totally and completely refuses to have a birthday ever ... In all the years I have known her and lots before that she has not had birthdays. She says it's because she was brought up in homes and foster homes where any celebration for her was totally false..so as soon as she was able she refused to have birthdays. No cards or pressies..not even to be told happy bday.

    So it's doing what's right for you .. If having a birthday celebration is making you unhappy then tell your nearest and dearest in words and actions .. I have seen the wife give back a card and present ..telling the person she would be very happy to accept their gift..BUT not on that day... :stop: She says THAT day is nothing to her (but I think it just brings bad memories of childhood back)
     
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  12. Mike d

    Mike d Type 2 · Expert

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    Yep, I HATE that day and have done for 40 years (I'm 60 BTW) .... could not care less. Not too far back (2001) , i didn't even know it was my birthday until around 4 p.m. in the afternoon until someone rang me. As PM sang, "It's just another day".

    Enforced celebrations annoy the hell out of me. Always have done.
     
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  13. Lamont D

    Lamont D Reactive hypoglycemia · Master

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    Can't believe the amount of old gits on here!;)

    Hope you are good mate!
     
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  14. MikeZ

    MikeZ Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    My grumpy old man opinion: Birthdays are for kids. Unless you are very young or very old, don't expect your birthday to be a PITA for me... and I will do you the same favor. I think that all birthdays between 16 and 100 should be ignored. If you reach 100, you can start celebrating again.

    We have middle aged folks where I work that expect to take the day off for their birthdays! What? :banghead:
    How about we shut the whole place down for your special day? Our customers don't need us that bad.

    Shall we talk about wedding anniversaries?
     
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  15. jay hay-char

    jay hay-char Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Dangerous territory. I am not tired of living, yet ..... :D
     
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  16. MikeZ

    MikeZ Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I'm lucky that my wife isn't that interested in celebrating anniversaries. Maybe because it's a sad reminder of the miserable choice she made! Seriously, we've been married for 27 years next month. I bet we've actually exchanged gifts on 4 or 5 of those anniversaries. Gone out to eat maybe a dozen times. And went to the coast for a weekend on our 25th. We're both the same about birthdays, too.

    Celebrate if the mood strikes but don't make a stink over it. Maybe they should put that on my tombstone. :D
     
  17. jay hay-char

    jay hay-char Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Being slightly more serious for a minute, I think wedding anniversaries are a different matter, mainly because there's another person involved but also (for me, anyway) because it celebrates a wonderful, happy occasion when we were surrounded by friends, and I actually like to remember and celebrate it.

    .... And also because I am fond of various body parts and don't want them ripped off as a result of forgetting/refusing to celebrate our wedding anniversary ;)
     
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  18. MikeZ

    MikeZ Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Did she make you type that? ;)

    To be honest, I actually enjoy going through the photos of our wedding day. It was a great time. Trying on my wedding suit is a different matter.
     
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  19. jay hay-char

    jay hay-char Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    "You might very well think that ..... I couldn't possibly comment" :)
     
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  20. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    I prefer a quiet day, this year my two older friends took me out for a meal, I forgot to take my Insulin and just had a chicken and bacon salad, BS still went up. really can't be bothered with it all. But great for the youngsters, I love celebration other peoples birthdays, funny that lol
    From a serious Mrs Victor Meldrew candidate :D
     
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    #20 Robinredbreast, May 23, 2015 at 5:29 PM
    Last edited by a moderator: May 23, 2015
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