I must say, if someone offered me an alcoholic drink I would say 'No thanks, I'm fine with tea or coffee, as I'm not really a drinker, or if I was offered a cigarette, I would definitely say no. Sounds like you need to stand up for yourself a little more and don't let other's manipulate you,
No means no, if they don't like it, then that's their problem, not yours.
ps I couldn't eat the sandwiches or cakes, because of a medical condition.
I see your point but when it is family who don’t know your medical condition because quite frankly it’s none of their business (you’d understand if you met them!) then it’s hard and to be told I’m rude for refusing something is very upsetting (different incident). At that time I was told I should accept and eat!!! I can’t win but I do stick up for myself mostly but it’s got me in a lot of trouble in the past sadly.