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Anyone got that magic wand? :'(

K

KBev

Member
Messages
22
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi. New to all of this but needed somewhere to have a rant and ask questions so...
I've had T1 since I was 8, and now at 32 I'm still struggling with it. You'd think I'd have nailed it by now eh? I found my diagnosis fairly easy to cope with but since my teenage years and as I've gotten into adulthood, I've really had difficulty with the physical and emotional aspects of the condition. I find it so hard to stick to healthy behaviour and to keep happy for any prolonged periods of time. I've done all of the courses, get seen by a fab team and have even had CBT to try to help with the periods of depression. But as soon as I lose any focus, I'm off work again, barely able to get out bed and have no appetite. At these times I can't even face getting out my testing kit and rely on my background insulin to stay out of hospital. Do I need to change my personality to be able to be a 'good diabetic'? Cos I'm not sure I can! Should I just give up and let whatever happens, happen? Has anyone had these types of feelings? How have you coped? I know I need to be strong and get on with it. But there's so much to think about on a daily basis and I'm so so bored of it! Thank you, rant over, I think!
 
Hi,

No such thing as a "magic wand" I'm afraid. It's just a "prop" to avert the gaze from the audience while the rabbit slips out the trap door..

I tend to focus on my work & keep busy with all manor of creativity. In order to do this I keep my diabetes in check as part of the routine & process..

It's all done with "smoke & mirrors"!
 
Heya @KBev - I don't honestly believe there is such a thing as a good diabetic, that's maybe the label the NHS try to portray of what we should look like, but living our lives as we do it is an incredibly hard task to manage the daily processes of our diabetes as well as functioning like a normal person, it is demanding.

Please don't also think that regardless of how long you have had type 1 that you should be managing or coping better by now. The fact that you have posted here is your self realisation that things need to change, how about going back to basics, and if you haven't done a DAFNE course, get your DSN to sign you up to one ? Talk to your team too about how your feeling, see if you can get some more support to help get you back on track, don't feel you have to do this alone. I know when your running high your going to feel **** so blame how you feel on your high Bg levels, maybe see this as the incentive to feel better ?
 
Thanks for the replies. You both speak the truth! I have done DAFNE, and BERTIE, and the CBT route has come through realising that I do need help with my mental health, but it's also so hard because that's linked to my physical health so deeply. I go through great times, good BG and feeling strong. But I just can't keep it going very long before I fall down again. I wondered if this inability to maintain both happiness and health for long is true for others. When I sink, I can't find much motivation for anything.
 
Meant to say, I've must had my best HBA1C result for a couple of years but it hasn't prevented me from slipping into another bad cycle, when it should have lifted and inspired me! Arrgghh!
 
Have you ever thought about starting a local diabetes club, maybe do mentoring to younger diabetics or their parents.
You know what it is all about so using your knowledge would be positive heck even telling people that sometimes it's a struggle is all good info to give out.
 
Hey @KBev
my opinion is you're just normal like all of us --- we all have the times that you describe in your post.

really the only difference is how quickly we realise that we are doing more harm ignoring than putting in the hard work to keep our targets in sight.

my best advice is use the resource that is all your D friends here -- all of us really do "get it" and want you to be the best you can !!!!
 
It sounds like when you are coping and doing good then you really are doing brilliantly, do you know what triggers the times when you don't cope so well ? Just a thought but maybe write a diary when your feeling better, try and write down how your feeling and what's making you cope better, try and learn from your own behaviour and see what your triggers are, it may help you in seeing the signs and learning coping techniques to ride out the 'not so good' times.
 
Also try not to let the "bad" readings that have no clear source send you into a spiral of "oh bu**er this". Sometimes we all have reafings that are not perfect and are not down to us, and I find they can sometimes make me think "so why should I bother?"
 
Thanks for these articles, Tim. I started reading the first and I'm sad to say I couldn't finish it. I don't feel strong enough and the stats scare me. Thank you though, I'll bookmark them for a time I'm feeling stronger, or more accepting.
 
Hello @KBev
Instead of judging yourself, be proud of doing your best - even if current state of health doesn't seem very good.
You've shown you care because you wrote your post - that's a good thing.
I expect most of us have been through times like you describe. Eg extreme tiredness.
You may not feel like doing yet another course, but when are you due to attend clinic? I go about twice a year, and find that it helps to re-motivate me when I've let things slide.
There is no need to improve everything all at once, so relax. One small step at a time to looking after yourself better.
 
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