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Aphorisms

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Pura Vida, Aug 19, 2019.

  1. Pura Vida

    Pura Vida Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Aphorisms



    ("A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise
    or clever observation or a general truth")




    1.
    The nicest
    thing about the future is that it always starts
    tomorrow.


    2.
    Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness
    will make him wag his tail.


    3.
    If you don't have a sense of humor you
    probably don't have any sense at all.


    4.

    Seat belts are not as confining as
    wheelchairs.


    5.
    A good time to keep your mouth shut is when
    you're in deep water.


    6.
    How come it takes so little time for a child
    who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who

    wants to stay out all night?


    7
    Business
    conventions are important because they demonstrate
    how many people a company can operate without.


    8.
    Why is it
    that at class reunions you feel younger than
    everyone else looks?


    9.
    Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent
    job.


    10.
    No one has more driving ambition than the
    teenage boy who wants to buy a car.


    11.
    There are no new sins; the old ones just get
    more publicity.


    12
    There are worse things than getting a call
    for a wrong number at 4 a.m - for example, it could be the right number.


    13.
    No one ever
    says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.



    14.
    I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a
    nap.


    15.
    Be careful about reading the fine print - there's no way
    you're going to like it.


    16.
    The trouble with bucket seats is that not
    everybody has the same size bucket.


    17.

    Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll
    have thousands of old ladies running around with
    tattoos?


    18.
    Money can't buy happiness but somehow it's
    more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a
    Ford.


    19.
    After 60, if you don't wake up aching in
    every joint, you're probably dead.


    20.
    Always be yourself because the people that
    matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't
    matter.


    21.
    Life isn't tied with a bow but it's still a
    gift.


    And REMEMBER....


    "POLITICIANS
    AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME
    REASON"

    [​IMG]
     
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