Being Aggresive with serious Hypo's

[kegstore]

Steve

This is terrible news for you and extremely upsetting. I've read through the whole thread again and a few thoughts spring to mind:

If I understand the situation, it is alleged that "you were abusive when you weren't having the hypos"? Firstly this surely has to be proven, and my question is also how on earth would anyone else know that you were having a hypo, given that you yourself were not aware of their onset, and would superficially be perfectly lucid and capable of functioning at extremely low levels of blood sugar that might even render another unconscious? I don't know any of the details myself and am not legally trained, but it seems to me that your solicitor isn't working terribly hard to be unable to immediately come up with a whole host of possible explanations?

Referring to the comment that you informed your wife about your hypos and how they could present as being aggressive, it's one thing for her to say she understood, and quite another to actually understand and be able to deal with the reality when faced with it head on.

It sounds like you will have an uphill battle on your hands, as you'll be fighting a great deal of ignorance and assumption (father-in-law), but I do hope this can be resolved without impacting on your kids, as they are the priority.

 

[DiabeticVeteran]

Yes, the key words here are as you said Ignorance & assumption.
Again, this has been driven by certain individuals & rather than try to resolve it, she more than likely got forced into contacting the Womens Aid, The Domestic Violence unit, the police, etc, for something a certain individual kept quiet for 18 months & was told not to say anything.

Now I am facing the uphill battle of probably not having to see my kids for a long time.

They always knew that i was a kind, loving person towards my wife & the honestly thought, "Ahhh, Steve's ok, he just takes his insulin, yes he gets hypo's but we'll leave it at that!" & thats how it was. If i was ratty one day, it would only be down to control my BG levels. Then my wife told me in January 2010 that she knew that diabetics can get frustrated!

When I explained to the family about the events that had happened in the past, yes i didnt know at the time, as i was not in control of myself & the relationship with my Hypo unawareness, etc, the only reply I got was " yes, but you were agressive when you didnt have the hypos!"
Everytime, I come around from a Hypo, I would always result to tears for this fact!

As, you can guess, yes, I am facing an uphill battle. All my friends, previous co -workers know that i am not agressive/violent in my normal state ( & i think my wifedoes definatley agree with this)........they have seen this only when i have had hypo's at work or being out somewhere?

My Solicitor decided to take this route by making it easier for me gain access to see the children. She also stated that she will defend me medically in this case of gaining access to see the children.

My question to you all is, if she has gone back to 2004, when the incidents started happening & yes, she did not offer any help, it was put under the covers, why the hell did she get married to me in 2004 & have an extra two chidren with me?, not to mention, I never had a caution from the police! This part, as my friends have stated, they can't understand this for the life of them.

Thanks for reading,

Take care.

Steve

 

[CarbsRok]

y

 

[DiabeticVeteran]

Steve,
as the cause of the alledged violence has been removed ie, the the synthetic insulin/analogues. How can this now proceed?

Hiya,

I am not sure of your question CarbsRock. Sorry for being a bit "dense". There is alot spinning around in my mind at the moment. Sorry. :cry:

Thanks,

Steve

 

[CarbsRok]

y

 

[DiabeticVeteran]

Hi CarbsRok,

Unfortunatley, they are adamant that it was not my hypos, although I have explained to them quite a few times now.

I have not seen my wife or my sons since the 9th January 2010.

I have been on the animal insulin for 1 month now.

My wife got in contact with her solicitor after me trying to explain it was Hypo unawareness that could of caused the incidents (They all knew I was NEVER like this & decided from years ago, rather than trying to help me, they kinda kept it quiet).

From my last Hypo on the 12th November 2009, when there was two paramedics trying to get me around, the police were there with my wife & her dad & they stated that Diabetics are never Violent , abusive or in this state & they put it down to a case of domestic violence ( Although I must say, when there was two paramedics putting Glucogen into me via a drip, and i was not responding to it quickly, that should of told them something!)
From this, they referred my wife to the domestic violence unit & basically with the help of her solicitor, have turned it around that i was violent, regardless of what has been said above & hence I am now in this complete mess! I know this because it was written in her court proceedings.

Now alot of the legal system is involved!!

I have told my wife a couple of weeks ago that she may be pleasantly surprised to see some changes in me, as quite a few work colleaques & friends have noticed.

This is the biggest problem i have.

Many thanks for your concerns, means alot.

Speak soon,

Steve :cry:

 

[kegstore]

Steve

I have to admit I didn't know about hypo unawareness until I first experienced it, over 20 years after diagnosis, and very scary it is too. Nobody had ever told me about it so I didn't know what the hell was going on.

It sounds like your wife has been very poorly advised, aggressive hypo behaviour in diabetics is not that uncommon, but I wouldn't expect a policeman to know that. No actually I would. :evil: The testimony of a medical expert will clarify this matter very quickly for you (and those involved/concerned), but the whole legal process may take a lot longer.

Echoing CarbsRok's sentiments, don't forget they're YOUR kids too! And fantastic news that the new insulin has made such a difference?

 

[lilibet]

Ah Steve
Im sorry its got to this point.
Re the prob of hypo awarness- what about contacting an organisation called IDDT - they are not just about insulin but general advice and support for diabetics

http://www.iddt.org/

Or maybe speak to your endo/nurses. I mean, its on your MEDICAL file and its well known that beligerence is part of it. I suppose the problem is, as you say, proving the 9 incidents in 6years but how can you - you prob werent aware you may have been having hypos if indeed that was the cause. It would help if you knew what was being alleged and could set it in context. Suppose its how you define domestic violence

Two things spring to mind, maybe not helpful but just popped into my head

-why has your wife been keeping records to the point where she can be very specific
-what do police know. They usally have protocols for referring Dom Violence but how can they claim willfull behaviour when you are almost comatose and being worked on by paramedics

In terms of not seeing kids, there would need to be power evidence re risks to them from you being in their life. At the worst, you could ask for supervised contact if necessary

Hope things start to look up a bit for you x

 

[jopar]

Diabetics can become aggressive when suffering an hypo, even if previously they haven't become aggressive...

And coppers do know this, as they attend this situation frequently... I know on one occasion when my hubby got aggresive durning a hypo and I had to call for paramedic assistance.. I had two coppers attend as well... Ready and prepared to arrest and cuff him if necessary, Ken will be able to say what they arrest you with, but it's something along the lines of being a danger to oneself!! They do drop all charges once sorted..

I hope that you can arrange to gain access to your children, I know how frustrating and upsetting it can be, as I used to have to watch as my husband fight to see his son, when his ex-wife took it upon herself to prevent access to him.. One minute he was allowed access and everything seemed settled, then the next you would recieve all sorts of allucations and denial of access.. Very hard going at times and very stressfull..

Has your solicitor suggested trying to arrange a monitored access, where a 3rd party accomplies you while you have access to the children? It's limiting, and does sort of restrict the length of time you will have with them, but at least you will get to see the children, and your ex-wife and family should be reassured and hopefully you might be able to build up the trust that way...

It's still pretty early days, and hopefully when family and friends aren't there for your ex as much as they are now, then she will see how difficult it actually is being a single parent, and will be more willing to allow you to have access to them, so that she gets some time out, from trying to be both mum and dad 24/7...

This used to happen with my OH ex-wife, she make the allucations, stop access then when she got fed up with not being able to go out etc, we get a phone call and access would be returned...

 

[DiabeticVeteran]

Hi Jopar,

Thanks for replying.

I do agree with you regarding the coppers knowing the aggresiveness but from what was said to my wife & her dad from the police is that Diabetics are never aggressive & they were the tw*ts that advised my wife to leave the home and seek help at the domestic Violence unit.

I think the Police need some serious re educating because it is all too easy to blame the effects we all have from Hypo's on Domestic Violence, even when there are Paramedics there trying to get you round with Glucogen! This also applies to other medical illnesses as well!
Hypo's, no matter how severe, is a condition we all as Diabetics we dread, basically due to the fact of us NOT being in control & it could happen at anytime in the day!

There is one very good point Lillibet mentioned in her post:
Why did my wife keep these records to the point of being very specific, going back to 2004?
Many, Many people just cant even understand the reasons behind this:-
1. Why did she get get married to me in 2004?
2. Why did she decide to have a further two children with me?
3. Why wasnt the police involved back then & why weren't any charges made?
4. She even had photos taken of her face from the hypo episode on 12th November 2009, where I pinched her face.

I do remember the police attending once to a hypo, but when i recovered from it, I spoke to them & they fully understood the situation... they were there, just in case something happened but due to me being on the floor "out of it", they had no concerns.

Regarding having access to see my children, although it has been 2 months now, I have asked for supervised access to see my children & this is currently in progress by my solicitor.

The only thing I have done medically, is change my insulin to Animal Hypurine Porcine. Just by doing this, as I have stated in other posts, my hypo's have dropped right off & myself & other people have noticed substantial changes.
Unfortunatley, as the legal system is now involved, i honestly cant see a way of me proving this & the thing that is worrying me in a very big way, is that I wil never be able to see my children and more importantly prove it to my wife, that it was never my behaviour! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Steve

 

[brendan1985]

hi,
this side of the condition is rarely mentioned

i too have had similar experiences trying to hit my own family, going mental and throwing my mobile phone at my brothers head in a fit of rage when they all tried to help me while having a hypo < 2.5mml.

i am not a violent person at all so i know exactly wat situation your in as i remembered none of these acts til i suddently realised my phone had smashed against the wall and the look of horror on my family members faces.

i take levemir long acting insulin now instead of lantus and feel much better. also novorapid 3 times a day same as yourself. i also carry around lucozade now as much as possible and take regular blood sugar readings to control my anger when low

 

[Hayden]

i have had experience being aggressive, not necessarily thru hypos but when coming round from epileptic seizures. i too have hurt people close to me like my mum etc. when ur not in a fit state of mind things scare u and u lash out, and u may not even be aware of bein scared etc, u jus instinctively do it as a survival tactic when ur mind is not aware of what is really going on. i hope ur wife and family sees what the real issue is here and that they give YOU the support YOU need

 

[DiabeticVeteran]

hi,
this side of the condition is rarely mentioned

i too have had similar experiences trying to hit my own family, going mental and throwing my mobile phone at my brothers head in a fit of rage when they all tried to help me while having a hypo < 2.5mml.

i am not a violent person at all so i know exactly wat situation your in as i remembered none of these acts til i suddently realised my phone had smashed against the wall and the look of horror on my family members faces.

i take levemir long acting insulin now instead of lantus and feel much better. also novorapid 3 times a day same as yourself. i also carry around lucozade now as much as possible and take regular blood sugar readings to control my anger when low

Hi Brendan,

Many thanks for your post. It means alot.

I think it may of been mentioned somewhere else that this side of things is not mentioned very much...... & how true it is.

I am glad you are feeling better now that you are on levemir

When I was using Lantus & NovoRapid, I heavily relied on Lucozade & glucose tablets & this was starting to get me down in a way.

Now that I have made the switch to Animal Insulin, it is such a nice feeling not having to heavily rely on these items. Also, If i have to make a mad dash or do something physical, I am now re assured that I wont go into a bad hypo & get stroppy, aggressive.

Take care,

Steve

 

[DiabeticVeteran]

i have had experience being aggressive, not necessarily thru hypos but when coming round from epileptic seizures. i too have hurt people close to me like my mum etc. when ur not in a fit state of mind things scare u and u lash out, and u may not even be aware of bein scared etc, u jus instinctively do it as a survival tactic when ur mind is not aware of what is really going on. i hope ur wife and family sees what the real issue is here and that they give YOU the support YOU need

Hi Hayden,

Many thanks for your reply.

That is a great comment you have made.

Not being in control of yourself!

Many thanks,

Regards,

Steve