Burnout/Stress

[Je21]

Hi all

So I’m just over a year of being diagnosed diabetic (I was misdiagnosed type 2) and coming up to a year of being diagnosed Type 1/LADA.
I work as a care assistant with the elderly. I enjoy my job but it is difficult with the demand and staffing levels etc.
I am on novorapid, levemir and take metformin. I have a libre. I am not coping with my diagnosis very well and finding it stressful. I feel like I’m still guessing my insulin ratio, I get stressed when I think about going to restaurants etc at the thought of people seeing me inject, or my levels spiking etc. I was told novorapid took effect after around 15 minutes but I feel like it kicks in after around an hour and my BS spikes and then crashes afterward. I don’t know how to navigate this at work and only having short break times. My libre alarms often go off in the night and disturb my sleep (I wasn’t a great sleeper before diagnosed but this is definitely not helping).
I had a phone consultation scheduled and I was supposed to get another hba1c prior but I couldn’t bring myself to get bloods done or speak to the dr as I feel so embarrassed about how much I am struggling and the last appointment I had (January) my concerns were dismissed and that I was being told off for something that I didn’t ask for.

I feel incredibly stressed and I just haven’t adjusted to having diabetes at all, I can’t get used to anything.

I don’t even know what I’m posting this for as I know there’s nothing I/anyone can do I just want to vent where people might understand

 

[EllieM]

HI @Je21
I'm sorry you're in a bad place mentally.

A year past diagnosis isn't very long. I'd be surprised if you weren't still adjusting your ratios (I still mess with mine after 52 years ) , especially as it's quite possible that you are still in a honeymoon period where your pancreas is producing varying amounts of insulin to "help" you out.

Personally, I wouldn't stress too much by the occasional spike, most T1s get them (I certainly do, though I work on minimising them). Injected insulin has a different time profile to the stuff you produce yourself, and it's (in my opinion) unrealistic to hold yourself to the standards of non diabetic folk who make their own.

You have T1 for the long haul, and learning to control it is a long haul process too. Please don't be hard on yourself for not being perfect.

As for your team, I am sorry (and a little angry with them) that you feel that they are judging/criticising rather than supporting you. Unfortunately some people are better/worse than others at the patient support side of diabetes management, but I have personally found some consultants and DNs to be good, even though others may make you feel like a child who has been put on the naughty step. I would urge you to make a new appointment and take those blood tests. There's no shame in feeling that you are struggling and there is a good chance that your team will be able to help.

Have some virtual hugs from NZ.

ps And if your team is unkind or unsympathetic, be assured that you are free to vent about it here and you'll get lots of understanding ears.

 

[Fenn]

Hi, lots of what you said, I could have written, I try harder when I have an upcoming appointment with the diabetes gods, this is silly because it means I care more about being frowned and tutted at than my health, no idea why because the appointments last a very short time in the grand scheme.
I’ve recently been trying a very strict low carb diet and it has been incredibly successful, this is after years of the worse possible control, guessing my doses, not injecting novo at all during work because of the fear of hypos, so running very high most of the time, but now if I say am injecting 10:1 ratio, if I never eat 10g of carbs in any meal, I never have to inject more than one unit lol, this has meant, no guessing, no spikes with 100% in target range.
Ridiculously, my dietician last week said I was doing too well and to aim at 80% in target, I have diabetes psychologist tomorrow and endo 13th of next month, I am worried about endo, I shouldn’t really as I only see him for 30 mins once every six months and can choose to completely ignore him if I choose.
They sent me to see the db psychologist because I had completely given up on db and myself and told endo as much, it’s been a very good experience, could you ask if you have someone in your area that you could talk to? I felt like I was on a downward spiral, was waiting for my eyes to stop working and toes to drop off at any moment, basically waiting to die horribly but she changed all this, now I feel a lot more positive, much more in control, still know I’m heading for a horrible death but don’t feel like it’s tomorrow any more.
Why am I sitting here typing this when my alarm clock isn’t due to go off yet? (I’m also great at sleeping lol) because you sound like me so I wanted to say, you are not alone, I get it, try your best but forgive yourself when you are not doing great, don’t let the health care people get you down, secretly they love people getting it wrong, it justifies their existence.
As for why you are posting today, imagine someone reading your post in your exact position, most will read without typing, you could potentially help untold silent, struggling people that felt like they were the only one getting it wrong, reading posts here from super motivated clever diabetics is great but reading from someone who is struggling like them could be way way more useful, so well done for putting yourself out there and possibly helping others, even if by accident
Best of luck

 

[MarkHaZ123]

The insulin you take will start working after 15 mins or so but won't stop the spike. The insulin is to control the spike and bring it back down.
Mine seems to take about 1-2 hours to get back to the same level depending on what iv eaten.

You say you are worried about injecting in public. I say this in a nice way but get over that. Honestly just do it and just think you don't care.
When I first started doing it I used to try and hide it but I just don't now. I get my pen out and jab away.
Iv had loads of friends question me on it and they've begun to know more about me and what I have to deal with. This has helped then realise what to do when things are bad such as hypos when iv had them with drinking alcohol and not eating.


Non of us like having diabetes but it's about managing it the best we can. Try and accept it and just work out what works for you but don't be scared to show other people you have it.

Iv got the libre sensor for my bloods and the amout of people at footy that question me about it at footy is brilliant.

 

[Hydiemate]

What your feeling is completely normal, and seen in all major life changes. Accept all the support you need. I had an accident a few years ago and found myself using a wheelchair. When I started emerging from the injury bubble it was like coming out each time I went somewhere where I might meet someone who knew me pre injury. I started getting anxious and avoiding situations where people would ask questions or where I would not be able to get about. Accepting help from friends and family, confiding your worries and if they are no help turn to places like this. You are not alone in this.

 

[Je21]

each time I went somewhere where I might meet someone who knew me pre injury. I started getting anxious and avoiding situations where people would ask questions or where I would not be able to get about. Accepting help from friends and family, confiding your worries and if they are no help turn to places like this. You are not alone in this.

This is exactly how I feel when I am wearing my libre and it’s on show. A lot of friends and family just make stupid comments to be honest Recently I got “Is your diabetes where you can’t eat sweets or the one where you need to eat sweets every now and then?”