Can't cope anymore

@Alex_B You have a LOT to live for. You're smart and you're sensitive. You have your whole future ahead of you - and that future is waiting to be written by you.

Yes, Type 1 is a pain, but there will be a cure soon. All we have to do is manage it until that time.

You can talk about diabetes as much as you want here You're among friends

Hi Alex. I have often felt like this. All I can say is I am glad I am still alive. I have good days and bad days. I am glad you have posted here. If you want to harm yourself and your live in the UK. Then please please go to A&E or call the Samaritens or a good friend. Your mum loves you more than you will ever know. Please talk to someone.

So sorry that you are going through what sounds like a terrible time for you. Azure has it right when she says you are not alone and that you can talk, laugh, cry or gripe about diabetes or anything else that you need to talk about. This dark time will pass and you will have better times. You are worthy of support and freindship and you will get that right here. Hang on in there.

The trick with Type 1 is to get it under your control and not let it control you.

You need power - and knowledge is power. Know your enemy and you'll gradually get a grip on it.

Any improvement is a good thing - set yourself tiny targets. The more you succeed, the easier it gets.

There are people here who can help you with things like carb counting, basal tests, etc It doesn't have to be hard. You can do these things in simple ways. Having highs and lows messes with your head and with your moods. Even if you have other issues, getting control will help you feel a bit better physically and mentally.

Alex_B said:

Can't talk to anyone. All I ever seem to have is bad days. Bad days since day 1 of the diabetes. I never have good days. I am just ready to leave this world now. I've never been ready for anything in my life.

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Those feelings will go gradually. When I was first diagnosed, I felt very shocked, upset and angry. That went on for months. Then it gradually started to improve. Yes, I still hate Type 1 (who wouldn't) but my life is MINE and the anger and upset has pretty much disappeared.

It's a big shock being diagnosed with Type 1. What you're feeling is totally normal. I understand - as do so many people here.

But it WILL get better - I promise it will.

If you want to, tell us a bit about yourself anything you like? I live in Essex? You?

Alex

You have been posting quite a few posts in last couple months that are showing you are really distressed about living with diabetes, your mums comments, weightloss, high levels etc and a photo of you injecting.

You really need to go to GP and talk to GP. Or DSN about not coping.

I know you have been given a lot of advice in previous posts you have made but then dip out and we dont hear again until another distressed post.

Please, can you get to tell your GP about your distress.

Are you self harming at all?

Please, as its the weekend would you perhaps go to a walk in centre if you are this low and ask for help? I know previously you mentioned not liking to talk on phone?

If you grab the basics like carb counting and dose adjusting life does become a lot easier.

You said previously you got to decidewhether you want to do it.. you need to take Dafne and life gets easier.

Alex_B said:

Can't talk to anyone. All I ever seem to have is bad days. Bad days since day 1 of the diabetes. I never have good days. I am just ready to leave this world now. I've never been ready for anything in my life.

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Hi Alex,

If you can think back prior to diabetes diagnosis.. What was your relationship like with you mum back then..?

Alex,
I know exactly how you feel.
I'm new to this forum. I am NOT diabetic, or insulin dependent. I am a reactive hypoglycemic: meaning my body produces an excess of insulin after I eat, usually after lots of sugar and/or carbs.
I was diagnosed in February, but I've been struggling since I was thirteen. I just turned 20.
I know what it's like to feel like a burden. My mum has to make special meals and buy special food for the house. I test my blood sugar roughly 20× a day both before and after I eat, before I drive, before work, etc. This disease gets in the way of EVERYTHING I do. I couldn't join the military, can't join the police force, can hardly hold down a job. All of my dreams are long gone. I can't even donate blood or plasma. I lost a baby after spending 3 DAYS IN JAIL because my blood sugar had been completely ruined the entire time I was in there ( got arrested for bench warrants on a traffic violation.) AND I wrecked my car last month- I've been trying to convince myself it wasn't because of the disease, but I can't say that I am sure of that.
So I completely understand how you feel.... I'm completely sick and tired of catering to my illness and I, too, hate that others have to cater to it too. It takes strong people to cope with body dysfunction such as our diseases. You're mum may struggle with your illness, but only because she doesn't truly understand just how crippling insulin issues can really be. Be patient with her, keep in mind that those around us struggle just like we do with our disease, and also maintain that struggling doesn't make you weak, and it doesn't make you less of a person. Maintain a high ground, it's hard to ride a boat to shore if you let people burn holes in the oar.

Alex_B said:

It's been a little over a year of having diabetes and I just can't handle anymore. It burdens everyone. My mum even told me earlier, "I don't want to spend time with you because all you talk about is diabetes." Who says that?

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Good morning @Alex_B my friend I think many of us have been where you are now she loves you,of course she wouldn't say that if you had cancer,but its not,its not a terminal disease far from it,and the sooner that you accept that the better you will be.

I have no idea how old you are but I am a young 70 so you have time on your side my friend. some people can do get a little distant when we just talk about the same thing all the time,that doesn't mean that they are heartless or don/t care,its like when we lose someone close to us,when my wife passed on although I didn't realise it all I spoke about was thit is hard but well worth itat I had lost her,in the end I noticed that many of my friends stopped asking me how I was,they had problems of their own to deal with so instead however I felt I would put on a cheerful smile and appeared always happy,and it worked ,it was and is very hard but its easier as time has gone by

@Alex_B take life by the scruff of the neck and live it,please don't waste every day thinking about diabetes try just half a day to begin with ,its a challenge my friend one am sure you are up to ,just remember and read my signature its not there by accident,its what I believe,Good luck and keep your chin up

Your friend Woo

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation,it means understanding that something is what it is and there is always a way through it

Hi Alex wondering how you are today?

Morning Alex, you have had some lovely posts from some lovely caring people, we can't sit in front of you and talk face to face, but we can and we do walk the diabetes journey, so we can do it together. Type 1 can be a hard slog at times but one day, you will see that light at the end of the tunnel.
If you are under 18 you could get referred to CAMHS by a GP.

You have proved one thing Alex, by joining the diabetes forum and actually posting about how you really feel, that says a lot. I wish you all the colour's of the rainbow......................except blue.
Please take care Alex.

Hi Alex,

I hope you have made it through the night. Please don't do this. Please don't take your life away. It will be the biggest, worst mistake you could possibly make. Your life is worth so much. Through the thick haze of blood sugar crashes and spikes, you won't always see that. How things look now might not justify to you how things really are how or what things could be. You may think that you're just existing and waiting for calamity or you may think and feel as though you're being attacked from the left, right and centre with no let up and nowhere to go. This could leave you feeling confused, defenceless, hopeless and vulnerable and feeling as though you're endlessly putting up a fight. Everybody here cares about you and we understand what you're going through. We understand the trials, the loneliness and the confusion, the feelings of being let down and for some of us the painful feelings of outright betrayal. All of this would make the toughest nut crack or some of the sturdiest of individuals wilt. But you're not just any individual, are you? What you're experiencing takes pragmatism, discipline, tenacity, resilience and strategising. Adversity can add wisdom and maturity as well as give a person a sense of the bigger picture. All these strong qualities just increase with the trials that you face as you work through your condition and manage it. Don't don't give up. You're going through hell I can see however we're here to steady you through this storm and see to it that you don't get too bruised. Listen to your body. There's a way. You will control this and the feelings will eventually go away. You might not be able to join the armed forces as Aestire has pointed out, but you're a soldier. Let me know where in the UK you are situated. If I can't get to you then I have Skype or any other medium which you'd prefer to use.

Alex

Please come back and talk to us. We are here trying to help you through. This needs two way talks... please chat with us, we just would like to know you are ok.

Alex, PM me. I'd like to keep in contact with you. There is a helpline for Diabetes UK. Calls are taken from 9 in the morning to 6 in the evening Monday to Friday. I've used them once before and they're quite good in providing information and support. The number is 0345 123 2399. Please don't give up. You're strong and brave for going through this. You will have support from here and there are plenty of us here who can provide a strong network for you to help you get this under control.

Hello Alex, I hope you got through the weekend and it would great if you popped back.
Thinking of you.

Alex_B said:

I don't think I can carry on anymore. I really can't. It's been a little over a year of having diabetes and I just can't handle anymore. It burdens everyone. My mum even told me earlier, "I don't want to spend time with you because all you talk about is diabetes." Who says that? Would she say that if I had cancer or something? No doubt. It's part of me now I can't help it. I miss insulin injections because I am either too depressed to do it or I am shaking due to stress to even put the needle in my arm.

I just want to die now, I've already given up. I have nothing to live for here.

What's the point in living, when you have nothing to live for???

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I went through a similar thing but what I've learnt and always say now is:
Don't struggle it's just an obstacle to overcome. Think of the positives not the negatives otherwise you'll have a miserable life if you keep thinking of the negatives.. Also you could of gotten worse things e.g blind, one limb, in wheelchair etc..._ so count yourself lucky Once you get used to it it'll just become part of your daily routine.
Just deal with it and ask for help when you need it.

Please don't die. Don't kill yourslf you still have your whole life ahead of you. Also think of your Family, Friends and Pets. If you went they would all miss you, Its not the right thing believe me I learnt the hard way as I did kill myself but survived and I totally regret it back when I did .

Alex_B said:

I don't think I can carry on anymore. I really can't. It's been a little over a year of having diabetes and I just can't handle anymore. It burdens everyone. My mum even told me earlier, "I don't want to spend time with you because all you talk about is diabetes." Who says that? Would she say that if I had cancer or something? No doubt. It's part of me now I can't help it. I miss insulin injections because I am either too depressed to do it or I am shaking due to stress to even put the needle in my arm.

I just want to die now, I've already given up. I have nothing to live for here.

What's the point in living, when you have nothing to live for???

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My mother says the same. What she really means is...she doesn't want you to have it.
Luckily we have medics and this forum. My mum and yours only have our upset of it.
My mum does want to bare the thought of hearing about diabetes, never mind the damage it can do if not managed.
I wish my mum could support me, instead. You?