Career disillusionment following diagnosis

I've got a few thoughts on this @Paul_, but need to hurry to the dreaded back to back afternoon meetings. Just a placeholder to say, I'll come back to this once done with my work for the day.

I had a midlife crisis in my mid-forties, changed tack, went self-employed, suffered a life-changing accident 9 years later, changed tack again, added to my skills set, still working a very small amount, still self-employed. Wasn't anything about my T2 as that came a lot later, but if I'd found out about it earlier I would in any case have redefined my future as much as I was able.

I don't want to derail this thread, but I've lost friends this year with exactly the same @lovinglife It definitely makes you think about the future!!

Well I retrained in my 40s and love the job I do now. In my last jobs I would be sat looking out the window at every opportunity, or taking so many loo breaks that it became noticeable and I was fired, so many times! Its never too late to do anything. Having a life of regrets when I am on my death bed is not an option for me, I wanted to do something that I enjoyed and something creative which is what I do.

Yup. I feel you. I was 42 and actually quite liked my job of 20 years although didn't really feel it was "enough" and would get frustrated with a recurring feeling that I knew more than the people who were managing me. Believe it or not I had a degree in my back pocket that I'd earned in my spare time just to prove I could so I did some post grad stuff and for the last fifteen years have had a job that I really enjoy and most nights I come home feeling I've had an impact if not made a difference. If I'm honest the real trigger for me was knowing my marriage to my children's father wasn't going to make it and I didn't want to be a single mum with a low income. I can truly say making the move was one of my best decisions.
The T2 diagnosis has triggered other things not job related. I find myself constantly reevaluating whats important. It has changed from a constant need to be planning and controlling the next big thing (whether that's a work project, a holiday or redecorating the living room) to valuing meditation and an extra chapter in my book. I think the hip kids call what I'm aiming for "slow living"
I'm physically and mentally healthier than I have been in a long time and my diagnosis has a lot to do with that.

Paul_ said:

Edit - I'm also open to the fact this could all just be a midlife crisis thing, so feel free to brutally deliver that assessment if so!

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You know we can't diagnose on the forum, forum rules and common sense say no.
But you could do some easy tests to rule out/in this possibility.

Get a motorbike/sailing yacht/younger wife or all three and see if the symptoms disappear.
If so, it was likely classic midlife crisis, if not, it's time to look around for a job you feel is more useful overall.

Being of use, doing something that makes a difference, can greatly improve your life and sense of well being, no matter how big or small it is.

Alternatively, accept that mod nomination. If you get elected, it's an easy and cheap way to give "some meaning, some importance, and some value beyond making very well off shareholders even more well off", without throwing your complete life upside down or spending all your savings. It may even give you ideas on next steps in your career!

Imho, any diagnosis (or health scare) can prompt such thoughts, not unusual. And knowing one can be in control of one's type 2 might well prompt thoughts of control in other parts of your life.
Whatever you decide to do, don't desert us please!

Leaving corporate jargon behind is a huge life improvement!

Paul_ said:

Thanks for the replies everyone, interesting to read the experiences others have been through and the thought processes those experiences triggered.

@Melgar and @Margarettt's posts resonated on the kids point. Prior to having kids, I was very career driven and worked away a lot. Having children made me far less career driven, opting for roles where I wasn't travelling as much and where my work/life balance was far more in favour of life. Maybe that point, 10 years ago, was the start of all this and my T2D diagnosis has triggered the next step in that process, as similar health related scares have for others replying above.

I'm not in any rush to make changes to my job/career, I don't think that would help, but many replies here have definitely given me confidence that it's something I need to build towards doing. Not sure what that will be, but something that means something, working with far fewer people using phrases like "how are we going to eat this elephant?", or "let's discuss the art of the possible", would be a great start!

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Is that really how people speak in offices? Because I honestly don't think I could keep a straight face. In my mind this happens: Eat an elephant? Why would you want to, they're nice and we as humans aren't very kind to them to begin with? But let's say it's made of cake, I'd try it one bite at a time? Not like you can down it faster in bigger chunks without choking. And that's provided you're not low carb. Are there low carb elephants made out of lettuce? <-- I'd like to say this is why I don't work in an office, but alas, I'd be lying. But it could be another reason why I don't!

Bit late to this, but yeah... Certain life-changing events, like having kids, or a diagnosis, or a loss, or... Any of it can re-shuffle priorities for you. And like with the T2, there's no rush, you have time to find out what works for you. Life can be more fulfilling if you heed this sort of call.

Trying to post this for the fifth time, hopefully it finally works...

I need to be careful not to dox myself here, sounds like we might well be working for the same company, @Paul_ . I'm constantly looking over my shoulder for that heard of elephants that will come and trample me if I don't sneakily eat all of them, individually, piece by piece.

What you said in your original post resonated with me as I've been having similar thoughts. Just to warn you though, more questions than answers.

While I never really planned my career and have ended up in a field I didn't originally consider, I've always felt that I have been lucky to be in a position where it is difficult to say where work stops and fun starts. I've mostly done well with climbing corporate ladder, my job is very flexible, I can work mostly remotely, and the company does look after its people. Yes, there days when the 'elephants' drive me completely nuts, but in wider context I don't have anything to complain about.

Outside work my life is also quite full and varied. I'm married, have two kids, a dog, and a cat. I'm six months into a post-graduate study course, I volunteer, and am pretending to be doing DIY renovation of my house. Have thrown myself into this diabetes community (but mostly for my own benefit). There is no dull day. But... increasingly I've been questioning if I'm often busy for the sake of being busy or if I'm creating something meaningful, delivering value beyond here and now. Yes, those big life questions.

I can't say that my situation is driven by my diagnosis - I've been living with T2DM for over 15 years. What has changed is that my focus has shifted onto my health since about Feb this year and I have a feeling that this has also shifted my perspective on what truly matters.

As a qualified Mental Health First Aider (I did say my life was quite full?) I have also been checking in on myself to see if it could be a depression, but the answer always is that there might be elements of it, but I seem to bounce back quite quickly from all my setbacks, so most likely not that.

I am fast approaching my mid-forties, so maybe there is something there? I don't really need a yacht, a faster car, or a younger wife, just more meaning - does that count as a mid-life crisis?

Despite my wobbles (see another thread) I've had such a great progress with managing my long-term conditions and have become frustrated with the fact that there is complete lack of solid information to help diabetics coming from NHS. It did cross my mind one day that I'd feel like I'm doing something more valuable with my life if I could work to champion this cause as my day job. All other life pressures and responsibilities would make it extremely hard to change my life around like that, but I can do something 'on the side' to get the meaning I crave. Thats why I'm starting to blog, that's why I put my hand up to support this community as a mod (if the community will take me) ...

Anyway, got to run and face the elephants...

Paul_ said:

The work thing is still sitting there though and it's fair to say that as time passes, I only get less satisfaction and happiness from my job, not more - and I'm not even sure how to solve that.

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Over the last good few moths I have worked really hard to separate my work and personal life. I now have separate personal and work devices and work devices only come out during contracted work hours. It doesn't mean that I care less about growing professionally or don't think about work outside work, I do, but there is definitely that recognition that there is more to life than work. One other thought I keep having is that maybe it is not always about chasing the next big thing at work and that caring less and doing your 9 to 5 is OK as long as you deliver on what you need to deliver to get paid. Not everyone needs to be a rockstar, and being content is probably more important to your happiness the next big thing after which you seek out even bigger. It is hard transition for me as a workaholic by nature, but yeah...

Very sensible.
Corporate jargon was driving me nuts 40 years ago! Someone once referred to my having "an ACV". I asked him what it was, having first dragged a few options through my brain. "Allocated Company Vehicle" he said. So what was wrong with "company car"? Fewer syllables too.