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Clueless Husband...

T

Type14ever

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Hello!

I just joined this forum today and surprisingly, this is the first forum I have ever joined. I have been a Type 1 diabetic since I was one, so that is 40 years. I went on the pump last year and love it! I also have a Dexcom that I don't think I could do without! Type 1 runs in my family, as I have two Type 1 sisters, one of which is on the exact same pump and has a Dexcom too! My point, Type 1 diabetes is common in my family and we are all very knowledgeable about it and try to take care of ourselves.

Last night I was exhausted and slept very soundly and did not hear the Dex going off in the middle of the night. When I woke up this morning, my sugar was well over 400 and had been for some time. I felt like **** and ended up being an hour late to work. My husband, who got up before me noticed I wasn't moving too fast and asked me if I was feeling alright. I said no and that my sugar was really high. He said, "Oh, I heard it go off last night. I guess I should have woken you up".

Maybe I am just venting here, but I am really peeved and feel like he does not take it seriously at all. We have only been married a year and a half and I have told him I need him to know more about it - in case I can't answer for myself. He genuinely feels bad when I talk to him, but his behavior doesn't really change. Am I expecting too much here?
 
It happens. My girlfriend doesn't always wake me up when mine goes off.

My advice: get an Apple Watch. It's very effective at waking you up when there are alerts.
 
Type14ever said:
Maybe I am just venting here, but I am really peeved and feel like he does not take it seriously at all. We have only been married a year and a half and I have told him I need him to know more about it - in case I can't answer for myself. He genuinely feels bad when I talk to him, but his behavior doesn't really change. Am I expecting too much here?
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Feel free to vent @Type14ever

No I don't think your expecting too much, the least he can do if he hears the alarm go off is to make sure you've heard it and responded, maybe sit down with him one day and make him aware of the dangers of DKA and hypoglycaemia. Best wishes.
 
Type14ever said:
Last night I was exhausted and slept very soundly and did not hear the Dex going off in the middle of the night. When I woke up this morning, my sugar was well over 400 and had been for some time. I felt like **** and ended up being an hour late to work. My husband, who got up before me noticed I wasn't moving too fast and asked me if I was feeling alright. I said no and that my sugar was really high. He said, "Oh, I heard it go off last night. I guess I should have woken you up".
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So who do you blame if you lived on your own? :rolleyes::p
 
Was he half asleep when he heard the Dexcom's alarm?
Cos I have to say that I am not in a logical state of mind when semi-awake in the middle of the night, especially when other people habitually deal with the alarm if it goes off.

Re him showing more interest/responsibility, I guess you can't force him to. But have you sat down and discussed what is at the root of his reluctance? It may be something like feeling intimidated by the technology, or fear of making mistakes, or even a needle phobia. Or disinterest. Or...
 
Type14ever said:
Maybe I am just venting here, but I am really peeved and feel like he does not take it seriously at all. We have only been married a year and a half and I have told him I need him to know more about it - in case I can't answer for myself. He genuinely feels bad when I talk to him, but his behavior doesn't really change. Am I expecting too much here?
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Welcome to the forum and please vent away. While your husband is there, I think it's reasonable to expect some help. Your BG going the other way could be far more serious.
 
CarbsRok said:
So who do you blame if you lived on your own? :rolleyes::p
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A little unfair in my humble opinion and I stress it is only my humble opinion. I daresay that if TypeI4ever was alone she would have a different strategy, hearing dog (that sounded daft wen it came into my head, but . . . . . . . ) or even a device that sensed the sound and gave off an even louder alarm. Do these devices have volume controls? How about inks to an app?

Whilst there is another person involved surely they can make themselves useful? LOL No offense intended.
 
I agree with @Brunneria Its best to find out exactly why he didn't wake you. It might be he thought you'd heard it and decided not to act; it might be he didn't want to interfere; or maybe he thought you'd be annoyed at being woken? It could be a number of things.

Sometimes things seem really obvious to us, so when someone else doesn't do something we assume they must be being awkward or don't care, but that's often not the case.

If you find out he just couldn't be bothered, then that's a different matter!
 
I am the only non-diabetic in my house. My husband and 3 children are all type 1. Some nights I can be up and down like a yoyo! Can you explain to your husband how important waking you is if the alarm goes off? Good luck:)
 
On the face of it...it does seem strange that he didn't wake you...but it could just be that it didn't really compute...especially as it was the middle of the night...I know I hear things briefly in my sleepy state...then roll over and go back to sleep without giving it a second thought.
 
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