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Comic Relief

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Pura Vida, Apr 8, 2020.

  1. Pura Vida

    Pura Vida Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Comic Relief




    1) Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    2) I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

    3) I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

    4) Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ---- The Living Room or The Bedroom.

    5) Every few days I try my jeans on to make sure they still fit.

    6) Homeschooling is going well, 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    7) I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks, we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.

    8) This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog, and we laughed a lot.

    9) So, after this quarantine... will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

    10) Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called "THE KITCHEN". You have to gather all ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    11) My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    12) Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    13) I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    14) I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Living Room.

    15) Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    16) Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year" ... I'm offended.

    17) Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
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