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Concern over my diabetic Dad advice much appreciated

L

Lene

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3
Hello all
My Dad is 66 and was diagniosed as type 2 in his late 40's and has been type 1 for the last 18 years. Dad has recently moved in with me and my family into a purpose built annex attched to my house so we can help look after him following amputation of both his legs. I've always suspected Dad has poorly controlled his blood sugars hence the double leg amputations. Dad has always been very secretive about his health and since he's lived with us it's become apparent that he doesnt seem to check his blood sugar levels at all (he couldnt find the testing kit the other day and had forgotten how to use it!) and smokes 10+ ciggarettes an evening and eats fried breakfast meals at least twice a day.
I've tried every tact possible in helping him control his diet by talking to him, cooking his meals for him so he has a healthy balanced diet and have asked him not to smoke (for his own good and I have a 6 year old) The problem is he doesnt seem to care and said he wants to cook for himself as he likes fried food. I dont know if I'm worrying over nothing and should just stand back and say "well its his life" or because he's living with me and he's my Dad I feel a duty of care towards him. I dont want him to die a premature death living like this but really feel I dont know what I can do? Has anyone got any advice? Please be as honest and frank as you like.
Many thanks
Lene
 
The first thing you've got to do is get him to test properly and regularly. You can't help with his diet (other than trying to make it healthy) until you know what his sugar levels are doing, then you can help him match his insulin to his diet.
I'm getting on for his age, so I know how stubborn we oldies can be. We need to be told how selfish we are sometimes. Tell him how unfair it is on you and his grandchild, that his grandchild will want to remember a granddad who was with him for as long as possible, not one who gave up. Tell him it won't go away by ignoring it, all that will go away is the people currently prepared to help him, if he won't help himself.
Sorry if that sounds harsh
Good luck
Malc
 
Lene said:
The problem is he doesnt seem to care and said he wants to cook for himself as he likes fried food.
Click to expand...

Hiya Lene,

Rather perversely, the "two fried breakfasts a day" and his love of fried food, with a little modification, are probably a good start for a low-carb diet, that will help his diabetes control.

Fried egg, bacon, (high quality) sausages, black pudding, tomatoes are all excellent low-carb foods, and are a key part of lots of our diets, and much better for diabetics than supposedly healthy foods like bread, pasta, rice and potatoes. If he enjoys them, I'd encourage him to stick with his two fried breakfasts, and just cut out one or two "high-carb" things, like chips and bread.

As Malc says, if you can convince him to test, then you and he should be able to see for himself which foods are good for him.

Ultimately though, there is only so much you can do. If having both legs amputated hasn't shocked him into dealing with his diabetes, then anything that you can try seems unlikely to help.

Good luck!

Stephen
 
Thanks about so much for taking the time to reply. I did not know that the fried breakfast would be actually ok in a weird way. I guess thinking about it, it's high in protein but I guess it's just the high saturated fats that are the issue mixed with his raised cholesterol. I agree with all the points made and I often ask my Dad what his blood sugar reading was and he clearly just picks a number out of the sky, if I was to ask him to show me he'd clam up and get sulky with me, he's worse than a teenager!y Dad has never been a talker! I spoke to his diabetic nurse in confidence about my concerns and they are seeing him every month at the moment and have told him his levels are consistantly too high and I think they've increased his insulin injections to 4 a day now. I've pretty much concluded there isnt much more I can do without him helping himself. The sad fact is I genuienly worry every morning that I'm going to find him dead or in a coma.
Another thing I'm not sure if you are able to shed any light on, I have also noticed that he becomes what I can only describe as "high" after eating and is very talkative, is this to do with his blood sugars? I wonder if he's kind of addicted to this high he gets after food so in some odd way doesnt check his levels and just goes by how he feels rather than what he should be doing (hope that makes sense?)
Thanks again
 
That's not a normal sympton of high blood sugar (hyperglycaemia). High blood sugar can give symptons like tiredness, blurred vision, frequent need to urinate and thirst. Perhaps eating just cheers him up!
Malc
 
I would imagine that he doesn't check his levels because he hates being diabetic and hates having to do it. And he doesn't tell you what the bg level is because he doesn't want other people telling him what to do. And he doesn't feel that he can control what is happening to his health so it's pointless him trying to change, particularly if it means giving up things he likes.

I think Malc's advice is good - explain it in terms of his relationship with his grandchildren, i.e. something really positive. I also wonder if it is worth your while really learning about insulin treated diabetes, so you can genuinely help. Perhaps learn it together? If he was diagnosed as type 2 he may well not have had the support he needs to go onto insulin - it's not something you can just pick up in your GP's office, you need proper support and understanding. I've seen type 2s on here talk about going onto insulin as if it is yet another failure rather than something that can make them well. Perhaps he/you see it that way too - perhaps his doctors see it that way. But him going onto 4 injections is potentially going to be much better for him in terms of flexibility and eating what he likes. It's a positive thing - I would never want to go back to fewer than 4 injections a day and I frequently inject more than that, so I can do what I want and eat what I want. If you can learn about that kind of thing maybe you can help him see it as giving him his life back rather than as a failure?
 
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