Cracking

[suffolkboi61]

I did leave a post on here yesterday morning about what had happened the night before, but I deleted it thinking that maybe some here would not like what I had done.
After talking with someone here (shall not mention names unless he agrees) I am replacing the post here.
What it was is,
In 1981 while I was serving in Northern Ireland I was wounded twice and had to leave the Army after 4 years of service, this was a blow to me as my family are all military and I had, had my heart set on doing the full 22 years.
Since leaving the Army I have had to use a walking stick as I had been hurt on my legs in one incident and had damaged my back in the second incident, years had past and I had gotten used to using the stick, then in March 2008 I suffered a heart attack and was diagnosed all three arteries diseased, you can imagine the despair I felt on being told this news.
So yet again I had to adapt my life around this news.
Then in November 2009 I get told that I am T2 diabetes, well TBH this was the straw that broke the camels back, but I tried to once again get control of what was happening in my life.
With all the medical problems I have and the pain that some cause it was building up inside me and trying to keep on top of it all became too much to bear.
On Monday night my 19 year old son had 2 of his friends round and they were up in his room along with his 21 year old sister, they were wrestling about making as you can guess some noise.
I do not know why but the noise became unbearable, so up I stormed to my son’s room and threw open the door and basically threw his friends out of the house and completely lost it with my son and daughter.
It got that bad that I threw my daughters mini fridge at my son who thankfully got out of the way in time, I called my daughter a ****, why I don’t know, I then told the two of them to get out of my house and never come back.
Now this was totally unacceptable behaviour on my part but most of all was a complete shock to me as I have 5 children and have never lost it like this before.
What I did make's me ashamed of myself thinking that I could ever lose my self control in this way.
Both my son and daughter went to their grandfathers that night and stayed until yesterday, they called me to come and get them and when we got home we sat and talked about my diabetes and how along with the other problems I have, was affecting me.
My son told me he had no idea about diabetes and that’s why he did not know what to say or what to do to help me.
| sat and told them how I was feeling and how it was all getting on top of me.

So now I have admitted to myself that I cannot cope with what has been happening to my life and maybe that I need help.

 

[Patch]

You're in the right place, mate - people around here know exactly what you are going through. If your son/daughter have any questions that you don't know the answer to, ask it here - odds on someone will be able to point you in the right direction.

 

[cugila]

SB.

Well done. This is one of those first steps. You will get loads of support from the good people on here and if you need more, you know where I am.

Good Luck mate.
Ken

 

[Fujifilm]

Its good to talk !

One thing us men are no good at is (and I know we are expert in 99.9%) is talking about our problems.

The thing is with what you felt and experienced, you will know for next time that you have to stop yourself. Its not uncommon so don't think its just you.

Also anyone daft enough to have kids deserves all the hassle they get. :lol: :lol: :lol: I had some of my wifes nieces and nephews round last week, It would have made no difference if I was diabetic or not I could have killed the little gits. :lol:

And another thing, they phoned you the next day so it shows that they know it was out of character for you and want to help you.

When I lost it with my Dad I did not speak to him for two years, but I am a little stubborn. !
.
.

 

[totsy]

as already said you have done brill by admitting u cant cope,
id a breakdown a few yrs ago so know how ya feel, we are all here for you

 

[ebony321]

Hi,

firstly i'd like to say how much courage it must have taken to write that in view of complete strangers so well done )

secondly, it may be a stupid question but any idea what your sugars were like during that time? low and high blood sugars can cause mood swings, i've read somewhere before that a man once hit his wife during a particularly aggressivehypo and i myself tend to get quite irritable if my sugar is high and have no idea why...

i agree with the others that say seeing as they phoned you and are speaking to you does show this is out of character..

i'm guessing as you said last straw having been diagnosed with diabetes and alot of peopl get built up feelings about having been diagnosed with an illness nevermind as many as you have,

you also say your son didnt know what to say about it as he doesnt know about diabetes, i would encourage your family to know at least the basics so they can understand you a little bit more and give you a little support

if you ever feel angry or just want to ask aquestion or simply have a good old rant u've definatey found the right place

 

[suffolkboi61]

I had weetabix for breakfast to see how much of a spike there would be. lunch was home made fish soup and dinner was home made vegetable soup. supper was an apple.

Awaken 5.1 +2 hrs 10.5
lunch 6.1 +2hrs 5.1
Dinner 5.7 +2hrs 5.6


Only other thing I had all day was cups of tea white no sugar.

Many thanks to cugila for the much appreciated help and advice he is giving me through this stressful time.

 

[sugarless sue]

The weetabix is what has raised your bg levels after breakfast. I can't touch them at all.

 

[phoenix]

Well done for talking about it, both on here and more importantly with your children. You've had a lot of stresses over the years and its not surprising that it got too much. You can now move forward.
You will get quite a lot of help and certainly support from people on this forum. You might also want to look for some professional help. Your GP might be able to help but as you have been in the forces you might benefit from contacting SSAFA, they might be a quicker route to more specialised
advice but they always have an understanding and non judgemental ear on the end of the phone.

 

[Synonym]

I am convinced that we all only have a finite amount of space for bottling things up and then the cork blows – so keep letting it out gently and tell your friends and family like it is for you. They need to know about it and how to help you, even if you just want them to listen. Sometimes just hearing yourself say something out loud is the biggest help funnily enough.

Hope this is the start of getting everything on an even keel for you.

And thank you for all that you have done on our behalf - particularly as this was part of the reason why you have suffered since. Lots of us do appreciate what you have done and all the other boys and girls in our armed services too.

All the best suffolkboi!