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Definitions

Scandichic

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,708
Location
Hampshire
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Dislikes
Michael Gove and his insane educational? policies!
  • Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

  • Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

  • Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.

  • Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

  • Marriage: An agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

  • Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power.

  • Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either

  • Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

  • Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

  • Dictionary: One place where success comes before work.

  • Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

  • Father: A banker provided by nature.

  • Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

  • Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

  • Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills.

  • Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

  • Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

  • Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

  • Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth

  • Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

  • Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
 
  • Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth
I like that one. I have a chatty sister and I once purposely sat there to see how long she would go without expecting a reply. 20 minutes is the answer.
 
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