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Denial

Discussion in 'Diabetes Complications' started by Alicja, Jul 5, 2020.

  1. Alicja

    Alicja · Member

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    I've been type 1 for 23 years. 23 years of denial. I have tried everything to break free from denying my condition. I don't want to die. believe it may be already too late. Complications are slowly falling on me. I still ignore every simple advice to change and pretend I'm not diabetic. I'm desperate for help but at the same time I reject support. Never been so low in my life. What else to do?
     
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  2. KK123

    KK123 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi there, gosh, where to start other than to give you a big, virtual hug. There is no way any of us can sum up in a single response what might be going on, but my first thought was that you may need some mental health support? I always think how can we possibly manage and deal with a chronic health condition that takes up so much of your time, 24/7 if we are not in the right frame of mind mentally? I have no idea what comes first but I can imagine that trying to cope with diabetes for 23 years is a massive challenge for ANYONE, even if they're not having to cope with other issues. YOU are still here and it is clear you are still fighting this, hence your finding & posting on this site. That may sound a small thing but anyone in the grips of depression/despair or similar quite often cannot find the strength to do anything. None of us are medical Professionals and we cannot diagnose anything but I would ask that you continue to seek help in order to tackle WHY you are 'self harming' because that is what I feel people who know that their actions/lack of actions are harmful to them but feel compelled to do it anyway, are doing.

    Can you tell us what complications you have (if you don't mind) and maybe some background information about a typical day in your life. None of us can wave a magic wand although I wish I could, but believe me when I say we can do our best to help you and tell you about our experiences. I also reckon that it is NEVER too late to improve many of those complications as a type 1 diabetic (or type 2) and on this site you will get PLENTY of real life experiences and support. All the best to you love. xx
     
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  3. urbanracer

    urbanracer Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hi !

    Well you're posting here and asking for support so that's a step in the right direction.

    I think the general philosophy amongst most of the forum members is that we adopt a mindset where we try not to let diabetes define who or what we are. Yes it's easy to say right! Less easy to put into practice maybe.

    Maybe start off by stopping yourself from saying "I'm a diabetic". Instead, try telling yourself, "Ok, I have diabetes but I'm going to live the life that I want to live and I'm going to deal with the extra burden". Sometimes, you just gotta stick 2 fingers up at the world and say **** it. (Can't swear here, I'll get into trouble with the boss).

    Look at the up-side. You get free med's from HM Gov', you get your eyes checked thoroughly once a year, and you get your bloods tested by the hospital regularly - few other people get this level of support. You can still eat black forest gateau if that's your thing.

    And oh! How about a support group? Could you see yourself going along to one? There are a few diabetes support groups dotted around the country and maybe there's one near you.
    https://www.diabetes.org.uk/how_we_help/local_support_groups

    You've almost left the dark side - don't stop and don't look back.
     
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  4. ert

    ert Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time with it. If you're in the UK, have you tried a referral to talking space? Or cognitive therapy through your GP? You've made a very brave first step by posting here.
     
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  5. Grant_Vicat

    Grant_Vicat Don't have diabetes · Well-Known Member

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    I thought this might perhaps give you hope, bearing in mind I was diagnosed in July 1959:
    On 16th July 2005, having sung in a choir at a wedding in St Edmundsbury Cathedral, I made my way out to the Cathedral Close with all the other guests. After a while a lady wearing a pink suit and wedding hat came up to me and said “Hello Grant, am I amazed to see you, and looking so well. We didn't think you would survive.” This was the first time it dawned on me that I had been in a seriously bad condition during my student years. I had not seen Diana, who was the Diabetic Ward Night Sister (Danielle) at King's College Hospital, since I think 1979. I have known her daughter Claire since 1987.
    The reason I can enjoy what I do now is that my hospilisation during 1979-1985 caused me to take things seriously at last. This allowed me to continue all the way to 2013 before a kidney/pancreas transplant was carried out. Obviously I don't know how much, if any, damage you have done, but I think Diana's remark says it all. She knew me when I was undergoing several sessions of the earliest laser treatment available, in both eyes. Yet those glasses round my neck are my only visual aid. There are too many scary stories out there, especially in a sensationalist media. I really hope you get enough comfort and peace of mind from this forum to allow you to throw off this mental burden. I wish you the best of luck!
     
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