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Depressed and can't cope

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Beadysmum

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It's been 2 weeks since my type 2 diagnoses.I thought I had come to terms with it but suddenly became so depressed today.I can't stop crying. My husband won't stop shouting at me because he says that I am making him ill.
I am so confused because every website seems to give me different advice about what to eat and not to eat, my doctor dished out Metformin after an initial consultation and said I would be on them for life and I feel that I have no support.at this moment in rime I just want to curl up and die.

Please help.has anyone else felt like this?
 
Short answer Beadysmum? Most of us i would guess. Your husband is only shouting because he is concernded but doesn't know what o do.
you have a perfect right o feel depressed and this is part of really coming o erms with it. At first you are shocked and numb.
then it suddenly hits you that it really is for life and you have a second blow.

Metformin is not the end of the world. It is very safe and if you get your diet right will have to keep your levels down and you may never need anything else whch will be good.

if you have looked at different ways of coping hen you may have foind something which seems more doable to you .
As you will know by now many of us control our c=diabees by reducing starchy carbs eg bread , pasta and rice. You may find this simpler to do. I am sure you will have read the advice given o new members by now.
The hing to remeber is that you don't have to do everything at nce. You will have the condition for life so you have to find your own way of dealing with i that is right for you and sustainable in the ong term

Ask for your husnand's help in changing things . When he sees you are trying to help yourself I am sure he will feel beer and stop shouting at you. Men are someimes very bad at dealing wih these things aren't t?hey.

Do you test your blood? If you can get a meer and srips you can learn very quickly how to conrol your bg and this should make you feel better.
others can't ell you what you should or shouldn't eat. You have to find out for yourself what you can cope with.
Read the advice given to new members again and decide how you are going to tackle thngs. Tell your husband what you intend to do and that he can help you.
you are in conrol of your condition.
I have foiund this forum to be very helpful and supporive . We have all been where you are now. Yes it can be hard and you wont sort it all out in five minutes, but you can do it,

When you are firs diagnosed and put on medication you have a mental and a physical shock. it takes time for your body to adjust as well as your mind..
Many here succeed very well in coping with multiple conditions . Just be kind to yourself and take control lfor yourself.

good luck.
 
The nurse I saw didn't even suggest self testing. Guess I am sounding pathetic. I know there are worse conditions I could have but I feel like my life is almost over and I am so scared. Husband is shouting because he really can't stand me.infact if he could read this now he would say it's typical of me to be so self centered and only think of myself. I tried to get him to go through websites with me to find things I could eat but he won't.
 
Oh bless you, what you said about crying is so much the same as me at the moment. I just cry all the time , little things just set me off or it can just come from no where. I was going to post earlier about feeling depressed but didnt feel brave enough to.
It is nearly 4 weeks since I was diagnosed with I assume type 2.

With regards to hubby maybe he aint quite sure how to react to the crying. My hubby sometimes doesnt know what to say but I think it may help that he has had to deal with my low moods before in the past( on and off for nearly 17 yrs bless him :( )

Is there someone you trust you can have a good chat to , to let them know how you feel. It may help to get it out. Maybe someone in your surgery?

I too have had a look around for information, one site says one thing, another different again. I stay on here now and I am finding that apart from breakfast(my worst time of the day due to my bs just shooting up regardless of what I eat) the rest of the day I am just coping. This is also thanks to being able to test - it is well worth it if you can get a meter. My GP told me to try different food/combinations as what may suit me might not suit someone else.

I have another 2 weeks of bs readings to take before I find out what is going to happen to me medication wise and its dragging me down not knowing.

I wish I could offer you more support, try and take each day as it comes and sending you a huge hug x
 
Hi Iggy-lil

I assume that your doctor is trying diet with you before medication? I think that's what I find so frustrating - the fact that they were so quick to dish tablets out before trying diet. It makes me feel that they were doing what was easiest for them. What are you eating at the moment? Evening meal seems hardest for me. I just don't know where to start. I do so wish I could talk to someone. Are you frightened because I am and I'm not really sure what of?
 
When I first saw the GP after my results came back he wanted me to go straight into hospital and on to insulin as my bs was 18.8 , my HbA1c was 101 which I beleive is something like 11.4 and my ketones were 4+ the day before. I am so scared of hospitals that I just couldnt do it. So after a chat he said the ketones had come down slightly from the day before asked me to try diet with a blood meter and to see how I went. I did have strict instructions that if it did go to a certain level then I would have no option and would have to go in. He also made sure that hubby knew that as well. In fact hospital bag is still packed.

Saw him I think just under 2 weeks ago and the first thing he said on reading my bs diary was 'no insulin' so I now have another 2 weeks before as I said find out. He did say to try to aim for 30-40g carbs per meal and told me that what might suit one person might not another. I was told by the nurse to go for low GI carbs and gave me a list of foods to try and I also have bought a collings gemGI book, cost me £4.99 . The list however that nurse gave me , quite a bit doesnt agree with me.

In the mornings the readings are between 8 -10 on waking but can see a patteren now. Doesnt matter what I eat in the morning whether its weetabix,porridge, museli - anything like that sends my readings up and knocks me out. I have tried more protein like poached egg and baked beans with a slice of burgen bread(fine with the bread later on in the day) or cheese on toast but still it shoots up so I am really hoping for medication to help me cope with the mornings, as I am finding with the fast raise in the bs its knocking me out.

Lunch and evening meal can be salad with prawns or dry fried chicken, or a stew ( I am okish with carrots) Jacket pot sends my levels up . Im ok with new pots( 3-4 littleones), small portion wholemeal pasta, small portion ebbly also basmati wholegrain (I think thats whats its called). I eat more fish now, make my own coleslaw and trying more food. I do have some fruit but not like I did before. Banana once or twice a week. I tend to have an orange, apple or pear. Today for lunch I made a bolonaise with mince toms,onions,peppers and poured it over a large baked mushroom and had it with 1/2 a small sweet pot baked in the oven. For tea I had a chicken salad.
I also make meat and veg 'stews' but without the spuds and then add what I am having as the carbs when I am ready so may have new pots one day, freeze the rest into portions and then maybe next time have butternut squash with it or some wholemeal pasta ( small amounts) So if I have a day I dont feel up to cooking I just defrost in the microwave and tea for me is sorted.

Other things I have been ok with is pepper cut in half with cherry toms (2), a little spring onion and sprinkled with a bit of feta, small drizzle olive oil and baked in oven served with meat. Toasted burgen layer of lettuce, homemade coleslaw, grilled chicken breast (thinned out) on top ,with a slice of beef tomato.

I have also found out what might be okayish one night changes the readings another night :crazy: which really baffles me, I have also found that something raw is diiferent again to when its cooked, thats where the meter comes in as a big help.

Yesterday for lunch I had salmon, small new pots, brocolli and baby corn and as I was not that hungry last night I has 2 slices of burgen bread with 2 pork and leek sausages (really low carbs ones) and that was ok.
I have learnt that one of my favourite yogur

It will take time and you may or may not go of the path , I did tonight as was feeling really low and turned to 2 biscuits( hovis wholemeal) in the past I would comfort eat but tonight I knew I would make myself ill so took the 3 bisuits that were left and chucked them away. The thought of hospital is always at the back of my head and the feeling of not knowing is hard ( did I mention I suffer with anxiety!!!)
As for being scared, scared I am but I have diabetes and I can do 2 things , grab it and do my best or eat **** and let it make me ill. I did feel as if I had been handed a death sentence(and I DO know that there are folks much worse off than me), told hubby that as well, totaly hate life , all the emotions about life being so unfair. As well as the diabetes we as a family have had a rough ride and just when things were looking up this came about.

There is a huge amount of information on this site and there is a food section with reciepes, go and have a look around - I have got a load of ideas of here.

Going to have to go soon, need to try to sleep , major lack of it at the moment,

Here if needed xxx
 
Beadysmum said:
It's been 2 weeks since my type 2 diagnoses.I thought I had come to terms with it but suddenly became so depressed today.I can't stop crying. My husband won't stop shouting at me because he says that I am making him ill.
I am so confused because every website seems to give me different advice about what to eat and not to eat, my doctor dished out Metformin after an initial consultation and said I would be on them for life and I feel that I have no support.at this moment in rime I just want to curl up and die.

Please help.has anyone else felt like this?
Click to expand...
Believe me Beadysmum, Ive been there done that wore the Tshirt. Although my wife dosent shout at me, but she still dosent really understand my illness. I'm almost 53 years old, and after about 6 months of learing I had type2 I just broke down and cried. Like yourself, I had no support, the Gp was usless my Nures was useless, I was geeting mixed information on what to eat etc etc. But these where my options, I could keep on feeling sorry for myself, take the NHS advice eat what they told me to eat, accept that my GP wont give me Test strips, and also accept after 6 months or so Id be on Metformin, or I could fight it. I choose to fight it, I have read every website I can find on Diabetes, I have read as many opinions and theorys as possible, and I have worked on what I think is best for me, and I have come up with the LCHF diet, but each to their own. I have fought with my GP, and now I get test strips, although she does ration them, I go to the gym 5 times a week ( I know this isn't possible or suits everyone) nothing much, just a 35 minute workout, and after 2 year Im still not on drugs. I still get bad days, and some days I still get depressed, some days I would just love to be able to eat what I want without having to think about whats it doing to me, but as time goes by these days are getting fewer and fewer, and I'm very happy with my life, and I'm probably healthier than Ive ever been with the diet I'm on. Keep the up Beadysmum, you will get there!!! :wink:
P.S. but the main thing in your early stages, is , you must TEST TEST and TEST again, so fight for those strip!!!
 
Good advice there Beadysmum and you can see that you are by no means alone. In a way its quite strange that although it is well known hat diabetes and depression are linked this fact doesn't seem o be taken into consideration in HCPs delings wih patients. - unless you are very fortunate.

Each year at my annual review I am asked if I am depressed. I always reply that I am depressed by the TREATMENT of my diabees. hey write it down but withou commenting and that about it.

Metformin can help by helping wih weight loss and helping to reduce your bg. It was prescribed to every newly diagnosed
diabetic up to a few years ago so some practices have probably just continued o do so.

You will sometimes see posts on here where people are saying they are fraid that the docor will stop their metformin and others wishing they could be given it.

One of my little books about diabees points out that diabetes doesn't happen in isolation. Maybe if it did , or you had nothing or noone else to think about it might be easier. As iggy-lil says it can be the last straw if you are rying to cope with other problems.
Diabetes s not visible -others don't understand and think you can just carry on as usual, It is sometimes dismissed as something taht can be cured by sopping eating cakes etc or by aking a few pills.

Thats why fora like this eist. We know how you feel. I have often thought that families need o be educated about he condition oo. They do this in some other countries bu he only way to do it here would be o take hem along to appointments or to a support group and sometimes they jus do not want o know.

It all takes time. Don't epect too jmuch. Spend some more time reading older posts on here and you will see how many times the same problems keep popping up.

Regarding the self-tesing , no the nurse won't menion it to you. It is expensive for the NHS and they will tell you that it is unnecessary and will make you depressed. Many of us here don't agree. You will see an e-petiion hread here o make srips available to all "s You should look at this and consider signing.

Many have had excellent results by esting . If you want to stay off stronger meds this could be what you need. You can find out which foods are best for you to eat so that you have better conrol over your blood sugar. if you show that you are making an effort yourself your GP may be persuaded to let you have a meter and strips on prescripion. Or you could buy one yourself if you can.

Just read the threads for the newly diagnosed. These will give you all the information you need to begin with. Its a lot to take in and cope with in the beginning but you have found your way here though and there is a lot of support and help to be had,
 
Beadysmum said:
It's been 2 weeks since my type 2 diagnoses.I thought I had come to terms with it but suddenly became so depressed today.I can't stop crying. My husband won't stop shouting at me because he says that I am making him ill.
I am so confused because every website seems to give me different advice about what to eat and not to eat, my doctor dished out Metformin after an initial consultation and said I would be on them for life and I feel that I have no support.at this moment in rime I just want to curl up and die.

Please help.has anyone else felt like this?
Click to expand...

Welcome to the club ,

Your husband's reaction is as normal as yours I'm afraid and like most men he doesn't know how to express himself in a way that will help you. :oops: He doesn't even begin to know how you are feeling but we do. He is unable to help because he doesn't understand and is frustrated with himself because he is as bewildered as you are. When you are able to come to terms with it then he will know that it is not as bad as he thought it was. He may know about some of the complications he has read about but does not know that these are not inevitable if you manage this condition to the best of your ability. He is scared too.

The only thing you are going to have to change to get through this is what you eat now as opposed to what you were eating. It takes a while to get your head around it but it is a marathon and not a sprint. Some people take weeks, others months and there is no right or wrong way of coping with it. You will get conflicting views of what you should and shouldn't be eating but your meter will tell you what is right for you. It is essential that you obtain one and if you cannot get one from your HC Team then you need to buy one as you will never get to grips with this condition if you rely on HBA1c tests. There are some cheap ones around and I am sure someone will give you a link to one.

It is quite normal to go through a grieving process when you are first diagnosed as your life as you knew it is over and now you have to cope with diabetes as well. It is not as bad as it first seems as you are now going to eat healthily on a diet that anyone, diabetes or not, can cope with and it will mean that you are healthier than you were before so there is a plus to it. :clap: :clap: There is a link here to an excellent article about being diagnosed and the grieving process we go through, read the whole article and the next page titled the 5 stages of grief and it should put it into perspective for you. It needs to be read by every newly diagnosed to help them understand what is happening and why it is happening. See if you can get hubby to read it too. If he says NO, print it off and leave it lying around. He may have a look when he knows you are out of the way.
http://www.diabetesexplained.com/diabet ... ssues.html

Take it one day at a time, learn a bit at a time and ask as many questions as you need to. There is always someone here with an answer for you and don't be put off at the pace you learn or the numbers you obtain, the only way forward is to educate yourself at the speed that suits you. This is your diabetes, not mine, not the Health Care Team and you have to own it as you will live with it 24/7. There will be ups and downs for you as with everybody else, we may have a bad day with plenty of stress, we may have an infection, there may be a day we do more exercise than another and these are all factors that will affect our blood sugars. Readings do not stay static throughout the day so unless you have a meter you may feel low or even high but you need to be able to test to see what is happening.

I hope this helps and please let us know how things are. Come on here every day and let us know how you are progressing, we may be strangers but we are a virtual community and we care about everyone who posts here. :thumbup: :thumbup:
(((((virtual hugs for you))))))
 
Beadymum, I am so sorry, reading this takes me back 2 months to my diagnosis. While I wasn't shouted at, the wall of silence that surrounded me for a good few minutes after I told my family, was a deafening as if I had been shouted at. I took the bull by the horns and became pro active. East man and CC have given you some very good advice. Lower your carbs, drink as much water as you can, and if you can exercise. Many here can't exercise for one reason or another, so put that lower on your list. Cut out as many carbs as possible, also watch for things like wheat based products and processed food. Get a meter and test, it's only by testing will you learn what you can and can't tolerate.

CC said "Come on here every day and let us know how you are progressing, we may be strangers but we are a virtual community and we care about everyone who posts here." This is an absolute must. The community here took a very frightened middle aged woman who knew nothing about diabetes, and turned me into a fighter for my health. I am obsessed and and took and continue to take a strict and very extreme fight against my condition, so won't put my regime up, as it's far to extreme a way forward for a newly diagnosed member. Please read Daisy's post, cut the carbs, cut the wheat and processed foods, test as much as your fingers will allow and come here and let us support you. (((hugs from me too)).
 
I hope you are feeling a bit more positive today Beadysmum. I expected my diagnosis, so there was no shock here, and I looked at it as at least I could do something to help myself. I eat a low carb diet, and it has been miraculous for me and many others.

I don`t have a man, and I am glad if that is the way they treat you :wink:
 
Yeah as people are saying, us blokes tend to shout when we can't understand or communicate any other way. We can forget that behaviour as quickly as we do it :lol: That said, don't nag him or ... nuff said :roll:

Depressed :?: don't feel special, all the boys and girls on here can feel that, it comes with the territory.

Chin up and all the best :D
 
I'm a nutritionist in the U.S. and read this post. If you've been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes this means you've abused your insulin and now your body is resisting insulin, so your blood sugars are out of control. What causes the high blood sugars? High glycemic carbohydrates and not enough exercise. Exercise makes you more sensitive to insulin and also some foods do too. So a good start is to avoid the bad foods and enjoy the good foods that don't spike your blood sugar. A meter is a must to tell you what you can or can't eat based on your current blood sugars, and seeing what happens when you eat certain foods. You need to make your body more sensitive to insulin by reducing insulin levels by exercise (walking only 30 minutes three times a week will help) and eating foods and herbs that help increase insulin sensitivity.

On eating cereals and breads for breakfast:
White flour contains alloxan, a poison that destroys the beta cells of the pancreas Whole wheat flour can be even higher glycemic than white and contain almost twice the starch.
All grains are pretty high glycemic - except for steel cut oatmeal is actually low GL = 4
All root veggies are high glycemic if cooked, if not very low - carrot is a good example - 1 lb. baked potato same as eating 2 lbs. of white sugar
All sugars are medium to high glycemic (look on package for sugar content)
All dried fruit is also pretty high glycemic

Most leafy green veggies are low
Most fruits are low
All meats are low
Most dairy is low to medium
All nuts are low

So now you are seeing you need a good book on the glycemic loads of foods: The Glycemic Load Counter by Dr. Mabel Blades is a small book that you can take shopping with you. If you use this book it will probably save your life and prevent diabetic complications as well. When insulin levels are high, the carbs. you eat are stored as fat rather than burned. This is why lowering your insulin is so important to avoid weight gain and worsening insulin resistance, which only gives you higher blood sugars and requires more drugs to control. Hint: Most diabetes drugs raise your insulin. Statin drugs (Lipitor, Crestor, etc.) for cholesterol raise blood sugars, raise risk of diabetes by 50% with long term use, and if you are already diabetic, and can raise your risk of developing neuropathy by 16 times.
 
Hello Beadysmum

I was diagnosed last Friday and the same as you did not believe it, My wife was angry (bless her) thinking it was her fault in what she had been cooking BUT I assured her it was :lol: (no just kidding) I told her its no ones fault but mine....Now getting used to seeing my family eating (we live in Italy) Tiramisu, Lasagna, Drinking wine, cappuccino with fresh cakes in the morning, and I have a Lettuce leaf...GREAT FUN!! I have also read so much, and it is amazing what you can eat, I always loved fish BUT my wife hates it..NOW i can eat as much as I want YAHOOOOO!!! and I I used to get told off for drinking Diet Coke..Now I tell them :P

So just for you

[youtube]Oo4OnQpwjkc[/youtube]
 
robertconroy said:
I'm a nutritionist in the U.S. and read this post. If you've been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes this means you've abused your insulin and now your body is resisting insulin, so your blood sugars are out of control. What causes the high blood sugars? High glycemic carbohydrates and not enough exercise.
Click to expand...

Abused the insulin...high GI carbs and being a lazy so and so.

I'm getting so damned tired of reading this offensive garbage being applied to everyone. You say you are a nutrionist so should know that such blanket statements as those you have written here are not the case for all and you shouldn't say that it is.

Not all drugs for diabetes raise sugar levels by any means, the most commonly prescribed one Metformin does not have that effect, I believe this was pointed out to you on a previous post.

Can I please ask that you make sure you have got your facts straight before you post, it would be appreciated.
 
Have to say I was a bit taken aback by Robert Conroys first line too :shock:

It is sometimes the case but to label everyone as overeaters and lazy is plain wrong!!! However the rest of the post is pretty much true.

BeadysMum, I really feel for you and hope you are feeling a bit more positive :)

My hubby is a long term diabetic which we never had under control due to lack of knowledge :oops: I had no idea I was 'killing' him with mash :oops: A friend told me about carbs and from that day on his life has been 99% better.

We low carb, not sure of amounts but I would say I try to keep below 30 per meal on average, he has lost weight (not that he was very overweight to start with). He has bags more energy, feels better in so many ways, looks healthier, less tired etc etc and the main bonus for him is that the nightime pain in his legs (neuropathy?) pretty much stopped overnight!!!

If you can get on top of your diabetes with low carb, it really is the way to go and it honestly, from a eating, point of view, isn't as bad as I first thought it would be. We have a more varied diet in some ways than we had before and really enjoy some of the meals we have (I am doing it with hubby as I thought it unfair to eat carbs in front of him!)

Keep us updated on how you are

Hugs
 
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