Depression?

[BethAliceC]

Honestly I have ups and downs love everyone. But I feel it's more than that. Like I find something wrong with everything in my life.
I avoid diabetes but still keep my levels at a great level.

But I feel so lost 99% of the time, so alone.

Iv done stupid harmful stuff and I just don't no where to turn, I don't trust my diabetes doctor and can never get in to see my gp.

I feel like an idiot, like so many people have such harder lives. Such worse illnesses. But I just feel so lost and so alone in everything I do

My doctor told me I'd go blind if I had kids and that I might have a needle phobia. But the last one is without a doubt ********.
I don't trust him. Which means I'm left alone trying tot find the best way to cope, and I feel and idiot telling people like my family or bf.

My bf knows that iv had my serious moments of self destruct but he's in his own world with the whole no kids thing,

I feel like an idiot posting here, I just feel lost and alone and don't no where to turn. I can't keep tearing myself apart

Has anyone felt like this or am I making no sense

 

[Charles Robin]

Ok first off, you are not an idiot. The worst thing with anything is having to face it alone, or feeling like you do. The truth is, you have nothing to be ashamed of regarding what you are feeling. Nothing. Not a single part of what you are going through is cause for shame.
It sounds like you need the support of a caring diabetes team, who should be able to give guidance related to depression. Are there any other surgeries in your area that you could go to instead? If not, demand to speak to the practice manager at your surgery. Doctors are paid using our taxes. They work for us, not the other way round. If your doctor is upsetting you, he is not doing his job.
Do you have anyone in your family you can talk to? I only get through life with the help of my wife. Don't be afraid to turn to your loved ones and tell them that you need help. Reaching out to people when you don't usually is a really odd feeling. But usually, after you've done it you will feel better.
You're doing your best. That in itself is commendable. Once again, you have no single thing to be ashamed of.

 

[BethAliceC]

Thankyou for your reply. It actually made me smile a bit.

I think there are a couple of doctors I can try around here, one let me down when I was young and I moved, then the one I'm at left me down again giving me tablets I found out could cause me problems. And could be part of why I have certain problems now, but I'll look into the other places, my dad and partners have recommended a couple.

Just need to learn to talk more to people, my partner has had a lot happen over the last few months and I guess iv tried to keep my problems to myself to make it easier, and in doing so made thing hard on myself

This app has helped me so much. Thankyou

 

[Charles Robin]

Very pleased to help. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to share your problems with your partner. If your boyfriend is having a hard time, you may be able to offer him a solution. It's a wonderful feeling helping someone you care about. If both of you say what you're struggling with, you can help each other. It may be that you need to find outside assistance too. But starting with the ones that you care about, and that care for you, is a great place to begin.

 

[donnellysdogs]

Why would you go blind if you have kids? Thats certainly not diabetes related.

 

[BethAliceC]

Diabetic retinopathy.. Influx of hormones during pregnancy can make the condition worse or bring it on during the pregnancy.

My doctor basically skied any actual conversation about the problems in my eyes and just told me I'd go blind if I got pregnant, then after this I got my eyes checked again and the condition had worsened.

Useless diabetes team in this city sadly

 

[AngelaSun]

I have a good team of doctors in my life, and a family that loves me, and I still feel overwhelmed and depressed sometimes. I was diagnosed last November. I had GD with three of my six pregnancies, one of them I was on insulin. My eyesight is fine.

 

[BethAliceC]

I have a good team of doctors in my life, and a family that loves me, and I still feel overwhelmed and depressed sometimes. I was diagnosed last November. I had GD with three of my six pregnancies, one of them I was on insulin. My eyesight is fine.

Thankyou for that

 

[neverforever]

Hi
totally agree with everything Charles robin said, whatever your feeling, are your feelings and no need to feel bad about that ever. I was very down when first diagnosed and my vision was blurry, its all corrected now, but for a while I didn't think it would ever be ok. Its hard to work out how we feel and how to manage things sometimes, but you've done the right thing in talking on here. Hopefully you will get a decent medical person to help you. Can I ask how old you are? (You look very young and I wondered if there would be some extra support for you if your a teenager)

 

[BethAliceC]

Thankyou for this and I'm 21 and have been diabetic for 13years

 

[BethAliceC]

Hi
totally agree with everything Charles robin said, whatever your feeling, are your feelings and no need to feel bad about that ever. I was very down when first diagnosed and my vision was blurry, its all corrected now, but for a while I didn't think it would ever be ok. Its hard to work out how we feel and how to manage things sometimes, but you've done the right thing in talking on here. Hopefully you will get a decent medical person to help you. Can I ask how old you are? (You look very young and I wondered if there would be some extra support for you if your a teenager)

Last comment was too you

 

[louch1]

I feel low sometimes. I was diagnosed in October . It hit
Me hard. I take each day as it comes. Some days are good and some are bad.

 

[BethAliceC]

See I was great when I first got it and for years after. It's just the last few years I think iv been really bad