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Diabetes and relationships

Kmkt

Newbie
Messages
1
So I have been searching for a while to see if anyone has encountered what I have - but on two occasion now I’ve been seeing someone and then I have a low and it freaks them out, enough so they say they cannot ‘do this’ I wanted to know if anyone else has ever experienced this, it’s really getting me down.
 
Hi Kmkt..... Just giving you a hug , I hope that helps .Life is full of ups and downs and we all need a hug from time to time .Unfortunately some relationships don't last as they don't understand what we feel or what we are going through with our condition.I can understand that it might freak some people out.It's good to talk about how you feel and let everyone around you know if your on a down and need a cuddle.I have been married for 32 years but my husband still don't get it ...?been diagnosed 2 years now .Bang out the blue i could have a down , be very moody , cry , just want to scream , just want to stay in bed and block the world off ...... When some times all i want is a cuddle ...just a little reassurance that everything is going to be ok.But my husband don't always recognised the signs and I feel alone So I have to tell him how I feel and ask for a cuddle .So my message to you is don't give up hope in finding the right partner out there , but when you next find one don't panic thinking your going to scare them off ..... Talk to them how you feel.... Tell them you have to and down days.... And most of all..... Tell them you need a hug xxxx
 
Don't let it get you down. You've just met the wrong people. There's plenty of nice ones out there too, that will bring your sugar tablets and hold your hand when you're having a bad day. You'll find them when you least expect it.
 
Hi Kmkt,
l have had T1 for 42yrs, and 2 marriages, 4 kids, no one can be in your skin and feel what you feel when your having a hypo. Dont worry about those two losers, you ARE NOT your diabetes, you just have it as a condition, and if those two pin heads couldn't see beyond that, they are not people you want to know or rely on to even make you a coffee! Be strong! Most people find it difficult to find a soul mate even without diabetes! Be patient, look after yourself, your diabetes, your education, your career, your fitness, the most attractive attribute about a person is passion, confidence and empathy, these attributes will attract the right person to you. Take your focus away from finding a partner, and focus on yourself for a while, l hope this helps you fell better
 
Hello @Kmkt To be honest it's best you find out as early as possible if they are worth spending any more time with, a caring compassionate person would be patient with you and not judge you based on your condition, so they weren't worth spending any more time with. Even without this condition it takes a few frogs before you'll find your prince, so please put your past experiences behind you, enjoy life and do things you are passionate about doing and the right one will come along.
 
Hi @Kmkt ,

Welcome to the forum.

I would imagine there's been a fair few wrong sized glass slippers tried on by most of us at some point.

What form regarding the symptoms does your hypos take.? Do you find yourself acting possibly a little too much out of character..
 
Was this particular hypo run of the mill? or was it more severe than normal with a little panic thrown in....

if it was more severe then you can expect a different reaction if you had a mild one....

I cant imagine how a hypo would warrant that response from a potential partner....

thats just my experience I suppose.....I have no recent experience dating...
 
Relationships well where do you start or rather more where do I start lol.
3 failed marriages but 4 great kids , I think I’ve come to the realisation that there’s a common denominator and it’s me lol but not ever related to my diabetes of 40 years , I did tell them all early on about my diabetes and was never really a problem . If it was they would have quickly become an ex. It’s something I’ve got for life , I remember as a testosterone filled late teen early 20isher a lassie did ask “ can I catch it “ hmm needless to say she never met mam..lol
Relationships can be so fickle and can be so permanent bit like boils I guess lmao. I can understand someone freaking out if you become a total phsycopath and , but maybe it’s just a case of not the one and a near miss, I know I’ve dodged a few bullets as have the people who I dated lol
Diabetes is a life long thing and hopefully like your diabetes your relationship will be the same
 
As others have already said, you have not yet met Mr suitable. The first girl I met who took interest and responsibility in my very unstable Type 1 (I had my third laser treatment when we started going out in 1980) has been my wife for 37 years. There's nothing that beats true friendship. I would suggest you forget about all this, go out and have fun with friends and then I'm sure your luck will change. I hope sooner than later.
 
The guy I am currently dating didn't know about my diabetes until we first went on a date, I was scared to tell him through fear of judgement but he's been absolutely brilliant. Does he fully understand the condition? Not at all but he knows enough to understand the things I have to do when I'm low/high and how my moods can change in an instant. He also knows I wear an insulin pump and freestyle libre. Personally for lack of a better word some guys can be utter a*sholes, if they have the right attitude no matter what your condition shouldn't be an issue to them, they should be embracing it because after all, it's just another part of you, it doesn't define who you are as a person. There will be a Mr.Right out there for you, you just have to keep looking. Don't let the minority put you off of the majority.
 
Relationships are so hard, especially with Diabetes. Unfortunately it is hard to find someone mature enough to date/have a relationship with a diabetic, because they feel a lot of worry and pressure, but I also think it is down to ignorance and lack of understanding. I have had partners who have been great, and some, not so great. As for the people who have told you they cannot "do this", it is probably a blessing in disguise for you. I haven't had anyone specifically say they cannot "do this" because of my illness, but I have had people not fully understand, and then get angry/frustrated with me. When I date, I always go in with a 'this is me', and I bring up my illness pretty early on to say, take it or leave it. Have you done that? If not try it, the bad ones will hopefully f-off sooner and the ones who are willing to take on the challenge - which lets be honest it is difficult for partners, they will be the ones who are best for you.
 
When you find the right person they won't say that they will help you through it and make sure you are OK..

I've not been in a relationship since getting a pump earlier this year.. and that worries me..

I wish I had a magic answer for you.. if I did I wouldn't be single myself.. all the best.. im sure you will find the right person

X
 

I know from experience, but I find if they don't like it, then they aren't worth my time and can jog on. A future partner won't run away, they will stay and find out more about Type 1 diabetes, as it's just a small part of who you are.
Good luck, a great guy is just waiting to meet a great girl
 
Not so many great girls waiting to meet an almost great guy though :-(
 
searley said:
Not so many great girls waiting to meet an almost great guy though :-(
Click to expand...

It will happen when least expected.
I used to be on dating sites, and when I actually told someone I had type 1 diabetes, he asked if it was the same as Aids, I was so mad he was lucky he wasn't in front of me A couple of relationships haven't caused any problems regarding my diabetes, they wanted to find out more and didn't realise there was so much more to it than just inject and eat, both were supportive and both had type 2.
 
It hasn't happened to me personally but its pretty common. Its hard I know, but then again I understand that seeing a hypo can be traumatic so I understand it. Just remember that everyone reacts differently to thongs & there will be sombody out there who can take it in their stride. xx
 
Oops, things, not thongs!
 
I'm sorry you've had to deal with this, but there will be people out there that really will care. Not a bf but one of my best friends always carries fruit pastilles for me and has a note in his phone with all the information if I need help. If someone cares about you they will want to help you regardless of if it's 'hard for them', so you could consider yourself lucky that you've found out so soon!
 
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