diabetes type 1 and relationships

[dee-uk]

Hi All,

I recently split with a long term girlfriend and is it just me? or is very hard to keep a relationship going with a non-diabetic person? I have noticed that I can be very terribly irritable and snap during moments of stress and highs and lows etc - and even though i've tried to explained how difficult it can be to my other half(s) after a period of time it wears them down - at the end of the day it must feel like it's pointed at them, I feel terrible about it of course and is unfair to them, but at the same time isn't it unfair for me too? I try and keep my levels in line but now and again it still happens. I find sometimes my attention is all on me because at the end of the day no one can manage my condition except me - and this gets in the way too, i've found at times i've not looked after myself properly because I have been to busy caring and making sure my other half is happy.

I've never dated someone with diabetes before I sometimes think that maybe I should.

Rant over anyway, all the best ;-) x Ed (dee)

 

[candy1567]

Hi there

Am finding its a struggle with a partner who is a non-diabetic as hes so focused on my bs thats its getting stupid now and as hes a chef god its worse as hes always tryin to find new ways to spice up the vedge etc

I know it sounds very ungrateful and selfish of me but hes driving me mad, i would just luv an evening where bs is not mentioned as its usually our only topic of conversationn now.

He really is a sweetie (pardon the pun) but its like hes on a quest we had a huge row last night as he wants to plot my sucess on a chart on pc, me thinks hes checking up on me whereas he thinks hes encouraging and helping me

Suppose only time will tell and iron things out, but i can definately relate to you dee

Am dreading valentines day, hes organised a suprise for me, wont tell me wat it is but were goin away for the night, bet its a bloody blood sugars convention hahaha

Juliexx

 

[hanadr]

Hi to the young ones
I have been married for 37 years to a T1 diabetic. Ironically, I developed T2,( diagnosed July 03) Yes I did have to cope with his moods and Call 999 a few times, but we've survived it.(so Far!!!
It depends among other things on the committment to the relationship, as well as to each other.

 

[sugarybibs]

Hi to the young ones
I have been married for 37 years to a T1 diabetic. Ironically, I developed T2,( diagnosed July 03) Yes I did have to cope with his moods and Call 999 a few times, but we've survived it.(so Far!!!
It depends among other things on the committment to the relationship, as well as to each other.

I have been with my partner for 24 years.i am type 1and have been for 38years.We have 4 children well they are 22 21 20 18 all still live at home.I dont think any of them know i have diabetes.Well they know but think because i am never ill or never moan, i am ok.They are all out at work all day and if i ever have a low blood sugar they wouldnt know anyway.I look after myself and even when my blood sugar is low i just get on with it.I always have lucozade handy and chocolate .If i get moody i just end up going to another room because noone would understand anyway.They dont even know anyone who is diabetic .No one out of all my family,sisters brothers aunties uncles cousins neices nephews etc have diabetes not even type 2.

 

[dee-uk]

If i get moody i just end up going to another room because noone would understand anyway.They dont even know anyone who is diabetic.

I have to say that while I am impressed that you can do this (seriously I am I think that's amazing ), because I, and am sure lots of other people, can't do this as it is an irrational period when it happens - I feel it is very important for your family and friends to understand to the finest detail what it is you have and how you have to deal with it - even though we all have to deal with it on our own ultimately - in case there comes a time when you can't deal with it yourself and, believe me it can happen, it is an extremely scary period and I don't believe ignorance can be an acceptable excuse - because it not only affects you in the long run, but your friends an family too!! :wink:

 

[tasha]

My husband is wonderful! We've been married only a couple of years but have lived with each other for nearly 11. He has been so supportive over the years.
For the first 5 years or so, I wasn't really controlled and bless him, he would often stay up all night while I slept to make sure I was ok. He will set his alarm for every couple of hours to check my BM if I'm unwell. He really is amazing.

He sometimes gets very angry with the disease-just like me. He puts up with my moods-but to be honest I'm not sure they're down to the diabetes!

He has in the past let slip that he finds the whole thing unfair on him and that he feels he 'has to look after me'. This of course mortifies me, but he reassures me that this is just him venting his anger at the disease.

He tries to educate our family members-his poor mother never has quite understood it!

We're now trying for a baby and I know that he will be fantastic all the way.
Thank you my darling.

 

[Sweet3x]

I've been dating a non-diabetic for 3+ years now. He's great. He is understanding when I'm grumpy, aware when I'm running low, not bossy enough to insist I don't have a square of chocolate or something sweet when I fancy it (not often, I'm lucky to have a savoury tooth, rather than a sweet one) and looks things up on the internet if he doesn't totally understand. He doesn't preach to me, with the stuff he's learned. I only find out when I mention something, and he mentions something he has read that backs it up/disagrees with what I've said. He even wakes up if I go hypo in the night, feeds me glucose tablets, changes the sheets and duvet (when I go hypo, the bed ends up drenched ) and doesn't say a word of complaint the next day, even when he's had to get up really early for work.
I've never dated a diabetic. It's hard enough looking after myself, without having to also worry about someone else (sounds harsh, and of course I worry about him - but at least I only have to count my own carbs, and remember my own injections).

And just realised, this is more an homage to my best half, rather than a reply to the topic. IMHO, date who you want to, diabetic or not. They'll either understand and accept you for what you are, or they won't. It won't make any difference whether they have the same issues/problems that you do. Being in a relationship is all about understanding the other person, and wanting to learn about them.

 

[anne 37]

my ex was not a diabetic and he didnt understand anything about it ,like a few of you guys there have been times when ive been moody due to the diabetes and he used to think l just wanted a argument ,got shot of him and for past 2 years have been seeing a great guy ,im type 1 and hes type 2 ,we support each other through tough times ,and i nag him if he aint checking his sugar levels ha ha ,he,s sat up all night when ive not been well and always buys me a wee present to cheer me up ,we,re going on our 1st holiday together this year and he,s proposing when we,re away ,its good knowing ive got such a great guy to support me ,and he understands when im not well,we,re coping with it together