To be honest this isn't what you want to hear cos I get it that you want to live.i don't. I read that diabetic tablets are more dangerous in overdose than insulin is this right. By the way I am not asking you to be complicit in my death I just want some truth and. Don't Jude me
No one on here will judge you they just genuinely want to help.
I've been where you are now many times over the last 12 years. It's so hard when you can see no other way forward and you feel everyone around you would be better off without you. Iv'e even got as far as writing my final letter to my children.
You need to think of all those around you and think about how your death will make them feel - they will be devastated, and those closest to you will probably never forgive themselves and may one day end up finding themselves in a similar position and have to seek professional help, I'm sure you don't want that for them.
My advise is to hold on in there no matter how bad you feel, phone someone which could be a friend, relative, samaritan's, or if your under the mental health team; the crisis line. Just hearing someone talk about something else can sometimes be enough to turn things around for a few hours. If you can't then take yourself to A&E imediately. Or hold on in there please until morning, then get an emergency appointment with your GP, you will be able to talk with them frankly, tell them how you feel if you cant write it down and take it with you to give it to them. They should then find you someone who can help you immediately.
I always find writing how I'm feeling helps when you feel like this it can sometimes be enough, I also think of my children for me they are my safety factor.
It is possible to feel like you do and come through the other side. You've made the first step by opening up to how your feeling here.
Believe me suicide is not the answer, its painful and difficult however you decide to do it. Tablets my seem the easiest option but they can lead to a slow and agonising death. I've seen the after affects of both those left behind and those committing the act as I used to be a nurse, either way it's not good.
Please take my advise and seek help in whatever way you can. Remember it's not worth it.
Take care
Maggie/Magpie